


Wildfire

by daniamyte



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Tsunade (Naruto), Chakra Theory, Character Development, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hatake Kakashi Has Feelings, Hatake Kakashi Has PTSD, Long, M/M, Multi, No Uchiha Massacre, Plot, Team as Family, everybody gets the character development they deserve, maito gai carries all of konoha on his back, more tags will be added, sarutobi hiruzen sucks, the author has decided to Ignore things in canon, this follows the main timeline but there are two prologue arcs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 42,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniamyte/pseuds/daniamyte
Summary: After a wildfire, you have two options. Mourn the loss of the forest, or use the fresh soil to rebuild and heal.A story where Kakashi learns to lean on others just a little earlier, and gives Tsunade a reason to return home, Naruto and Sasuke a family, Sakura an identity, Gai peace of mind, and himself a little bit of hope for the future of the village.[a liberal exploration into the author's headcanon, so please suspend disbelief. lots of cool jutsu, chakra theory, and character backstory]
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Sai, Gaara & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Nara Shikamaru, Haruno Sakura & Tsunade, Haruno Sakura/Rock Lee, Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi & Sai, Hatake Kakashi & Shiranui Genma, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Itachi, Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou, Hyuuga Neji & Uzumaki Naruto, Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama & Uzumaki Naruto, Maito Gai | Might Guy & Shiranui Genma, Maito Gai | Might Guy & Tsunade, Rock Lee & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Sai & Yamato | Tenzou, Tsunade & Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 61
Kudos: 279





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> cover art for this fic can be found HERE!: https://twitter.com/levhoia_/status/1335112002159734785?s=21
> 
> you can follow my twit @levhoia_ for updates!

Konoha feels stifled. What’s left of every building is covered in soot, and the oppressive smell of smoke and metal fills the air. Shinobi mill around the razed streets, regarding the broken storefronts and homes, asking to bum a cigarette or grab a drink, doing anything to temporarily distract from the feeling of bone-numbing exhaustion. It’s a given that shinobi die in battle or on missions, but that doesn’t detract from the mourning, from the bitterness and defeat of your village, your _home_ , being destroyed. Konoha, even with The Yellow Flash and multiple bloodline limits, was no match for the Kyuubi’s rage, and the mere fragments of the city it left behind are a constant harsh reminder of the village’s ruin, and the beloved Hokage’s sacrifice for it. 

In a small makeshift medical tent lying behind the Hokage tower, secluded from the village, Kakashi stares blankly at the baby lying on the medical table in front of him. Tears refuse to come, but his brow is furrowed as he clenches his fists at his side, resisting the urge to go wash them. The baby, at least, seems unaffected by the somber mood as he gurgles softly in his sleep. His shocking blond hair and ruddy cheeks seem to suck up all the light in the tent, unapologetically drawing attention to himself without even being awake. Kakashi is then struck by how _normal_ the baby looks, how vulnerable and small he is, how, without the three whisker marks on his cheeks and the foreboding seal etched onto his stomach, he could easily be mistaken for any other child, have a normal childhood after being taken in by a clan or the orphanage– how, without those damning marks, this innocent baby would never be identifiable as the jinchuuriki, in whom the Kyuubi was sealed. 

The baby weakly flails his fists around and accidentally tugs on his own hair. With his attention drawn to it, Kakashi immediately thinks about how _relieved_ Kushina must have been that her baby wasn’t cursed with the same bright red hair as her, how embarrassed she would’ve been if Sensei had to be surrounded by not one, but _two_ passionate redheads. _The clash in family pictures would’ve been horrendous_ , he thinks, and is thoroughly taken aback by the sheer absurdity of his own thoughts. He tries to imagine what the baby might have ended up looking like in Kushina’s worst nightmare: Minato-sensei and his kind smile and soft eyes, but with jarringly scarlet locks, and suddenly begins to laugh. His quiet chuckles slowly escalate into laughter that forces itself out from his belly, full-body guffaws that have him clutching his sides in pain. And once Kakashi’s body gets used to the feeling of heaving with a morbid sort of glee, he can’t stop, he ends up having to grab the table in front of him to brace himself as he doubles over, the sounds of his hysteria making medic-nin and injured shinobi turn to look over in concern at him. 

Kakashi’s reputation precedes him; shinobi from Kumo to Suna whisper in awe of the Copy Cat Ninja, curse the Sharingan Bastard, revere the son of the White Fang, but everyone forgets that for all his battle prowess and high rank in ANBU, Kakashi is still just a fourteen-year-old, robbed of his childhood, his only family, his best friend, his teammate, and now, his only remaining father figure, Sensei. 

_Sensei, if only you could see me now_ , Kakashi thinks as his hands and shoulders shake, _look at me. I failed the biggest mission you’ve ever given me, and here I am, laughing at your baby. This is a new level of disrespect, even for me. I have no idea what to do with this kid, I don’t know what I’ll do when he wakes up. Sensei, you know I have no idea how to deal with kids, why did you leave me alone with him? Why_ me _?_ Somewhere in his mind, Kakashi is aware that his shoulders and hands are still shaking, but he’s not laughing anymore, his chest is heaving– _Obito is so much better at dealing with babies, probably because he is one, but I’m not Obito, Sensei, I’m not him, I wish he were here, I wish_ you _were here, Sensei, Sensei–_

“MY ETERNAL RIVAL!” Kakashi jolts. Beside him, Gai clasps his shoulder and glances over his face, assessing him. Vaguely, Kakashi feels the chakra in his Sharingan eye pulsing, and as he reaches up to adjust his hitai-ate and calm his eye, he realizes he had been crying. Kakashi immediately feels his cheeks redden and goes to wipe his eyes. 

“Gai… what are you doing here?”

Gai’s hand doesn’t leave Kakashi’s shoulder. Somehow, Kakashi appreciates the grounding gesture. He’s not sure if he would if it were anyone else. Kakashi promptly puts that fleeting thought away before he can even begin to assess it. “My friend, we couldn’t find you after the battle, and once we heard about–” Gai fumbles over the Yondaime’s name, unsure if Kakashi wants to hear it, but barrels on anyway, “about Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai, we wanted to find you to make sure that yo– to make sure that everything was alright.” 

“Well, you found me,” Kakashi starts, pointedly not responding to the latter part of Gai’s statement, and then catches on. “We?” He takes his eyes off Gai's face and suddenly registers the presence of Genma and Jiraiya behind him. _Fuck. How did I not see them?_

The magnitude of his grief must be obvious to anyone, then, if he couldn’t take his eyes off of the baby and Gai’s face to see Genma and Jiraiya right behind him, let alone sense their chakra signatures as any other competent shinobi would have. No one mentions this, and Kakashi is infinitely grateful for them sparing his pride. 

Genma chooses this moment to speak up. “Can I see him?” He swallows. Kakashi looks properly at Genma for the first time, and takes in the deep bags etched under slightly puffy and red eyes, and the dulled, far-away look he has. The senbon he usually carries in his mouth is nowhere to be seen, but his lips are dark and scabbed over, like he had bitten them too hard one too many times. On one level, Kakashi knows Genma is only two years older than him, and that he is a better ninja than Genma, but right now, Genma looks _old_. And he looks so, so tired. 

And Kakashi realizes that the two people who harbor the most guilt for the loss of his Sensei are in this tent, looking at each other. Genma, who served as the guard of the Yondaime Hokage, and Kakashi, whose mission it was to protect Kushina and her baby. The knowledge that Genma feels the same guilt as him overrides the protective instinct Kakashi feels towards Sensei’s kid, and so he steps aside so that Genma, Gai, and Jiraiya can see the newborn baby of Minato and Kushina, and the Kyuubi’s jinchuuriki. 

The baby had woken up sometime during Gai calling out for Kakashi, but miraculously remained silent during the whole exchange. Now, with all four of their eyes on him, the baby’s azure eyes flit between the three teenagers and the man standing with them, small mouth opening and closing as his hands lightly fist on either side of his head. _Sensei’s eyes,_ Kakashi thinks, and is struck with the sudden urge to cry again. Gai’s hand, who still hasn’t left his shoulder, clenches. The striking resemblance between the beloved Yondaime and his legacy isn’t lost on anyone. 

“What was his name again?” Genma croaks. Kakashi keeps his eyes trained on the baby, determined to give Genma his privacy. 

Kakashi knows the answer, but he doesn’t want to respond. He doesn’t want to say the name aloud, he doesn’t want to be the one to tell Genma Sensei’s kid’s name when it should’ve been Sensei and Kushina instead, when no one should’ve had to ask in the first place because Sensei and Kushina should’ve been _alive_ , Genma should’ve learned the baby’s name over dinner or while Kushina visited Sensei at the Hokage tower, they should’ve learned his name by hearing how Sensei cooed over him and doted on him, by hearing Kushina scold him for not showering after training or eating vegetables. Genma and Gai should’ve learned the baby’s name as Sensei and Kushina wanted it to be learned, with that brand of unconditional love that comes naturally with being a parent and the joy of bringing a child into the world. They shouldn’t have to hear the name from Kakashi’s mouth, Kakashi the Friend Killer, Kakashi the Sharingan Bastard, Kakashi who grew up alone, whose memory of his parents are as much rumor and legend and nightmares as they are real experience, who has no idea how to form the word with the same tender weight Sensei and Kushina would’ve given it. So he refuses to speak. He keeps his eyes stubbornly on the boy, who is slowly picking up on the negative energy and is beginning to squirm. 

Blessedly, Jiraiya takes pity on Kakashi, and answers instead. “Naruto,” he says, giving the word the weight it deserves. “His name is Naruto.”

And like magic, when Naruto hears his name for the first time, his expression clears. His already wide eyes get impossibly brighter, and he starts to move his fists more enthusiastically, blubbering nonsensically at the four men staring down at him, all completely out of their depth. 

_He recognizes his name_ , Kakashi realizes. _That means Sensei and Kushina were able to speak to him before they died._ It’s like that lifts a weight from his chest, the fact that somewhere in his subconscious Naruto knows what his name is supposed to sound like, has heard it from the two people who matter most, and hasn’t been stripped of this one grace is almost overwhelming. He wants to hear Sensei say it one more time, he wants to hear Kushina cooing to the baby in her womb just one more time, he wants–

Gai startles him again, finally moving the hand that had steadfastly remained on his shoulder to Naruto, reaching out with a finger that he waves in front of him. Naruto is immediately enchanted by him, and he reaches to grab Gai’s finger and shake it about. Out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi sees Gai smile, something softer and more private but equally as genuine as his bright grins, teeth and all. Immediately, Kakashi feels more relaxed. He may be flat-footed around babies, and other people generally, but maybe if Gai were with him, things wouldn’t be so bad. 

“What are we going to do with him now?” 

And Just like that, Jiraiya voices the question Kakashi had been staunchly avoiding. Kakashi looks frantically back at Naruto, ridiculously hoping he could provide some insight, and finds Naruto still grabbing Gai’s hand and staring intensely at it. Kakashi’s heart squeezes, just a bit more. Jiraiya, completely oblivious to Kakashi’s impending panic, continues– “It’s not like Minato and Kushina have any relatives here, and we can’t even send him to Uzushio because it _doesn’t exist_ … Do you think someone else could take him in? He’ll die otherwise!”

“I don’t know how many families are going to be willing to take in the jinchuuriki right now, shinobi or not. It’s not like most people knew Kushina-senpai was pregnant, too, so they wouldn’t be able to figure out that Naruto was her kid….” Genma chews on his lip and looks away, frustrated.

“Maybe we can give him to one of Minato’s jounin friends? Shikaku was always reasonable and I think he had a kid a bit ago… Or Inoichi, Naruto’s hair could probably blend in with the Yamanaka clan, although I know it’s a little off–” 

And Kakashi suddenly remembers exactly why this conversation with Jiraiya feels so off to him, and blurts, “wait, aren’t you his _godfather_? Why don’t you just take him in? You’re the only person he really has right now!”

Jiraiya, for his part, looks massively uncomfortable, and rubs the back of his neck, saying “Well, my loyalty is to Mount Myoboku before Konoha, everyone knows that, and I’m busy traveling… It’s not the ideal place for a kid, and I don’t really have any experience raising one… I don’t know if Minato and Kushina would really trust me with their kid, I mean, you know how I am…”

Kakashi scoffs while Genma and Gai look up at Jiraiya in shock. “Sensei and Kushina named you, _you_ of all people, _godfather_ to their child. Do you think Sensei made you godfather to his only legacy because he thought it was funny? Do you think he did it for a laugh?” The longer Kakashi thinks about it, the angrier he gets. “Are you really as stupid as you seem?”

“I don’t think either of them expected to die the day Naruto was born! No one expected the Kyuubi to get out! They probably just wanted to name me an uncle! I’m not equipped to raise a kid!” 

Kakashi is starting to get so angry he feels the small sparks of chidori at his fingertips. His sharingan is beginning to awaken in his covered eye again, and he knows he’s oozing killing intent, but he can’t seem to shake it even though Naruto is right there. Sensei and Kushina are _dead_ , they died trying to protect the village they loved and the child they sacrificed everything for to bring into the world, the _baby_ they forced into being the weapon of the village because they had no other choice, and Jiraiya is just walking away, like a _coward_. Kakashi feels the sudden, inexplicable urge to pull his mask down and scream right in Jiraiya’s face, and actually moves his hand, but Gai, perceptive as ever, steps in before violence can ensue. 

“With all due respect, Jiraiya-sama, if you can’t raise Naruto, who will? The Yondaime himself named you Naruto’s guardian in their absence. Who else is there? The closest people to him and Kushina-senpai apart from you are my eternal rival, Kakashi, and my dear teammate, Genma. And though I love both of my friends dearly, it is clear to me that neither of them, nor myself, are equipped to healthily raise a child at our tender ages. Shinobi ability and parenting ability are not the same. Besides us, the Yondaime was close friends with Shikaku Nara, who must spend his energy retraining the jounin troupes and acting as the leader of Konoha until a temporary Hokage is chosen as the advisor to the Yondaime. Not to mention, he has his own son as well. Inoichi must continue to lead the Torture and Intelligence division, certainly very hectic during this time. I do not think the Yamanaka clan would be an ideal place for Naruto. Jiraiya-sama, please, it should be plain to you that Naruto has nowhere else to go. If you refuse to accept it from the Yondaime because your primary allegiance lies elsewhere,” Gai steels himself for his last effort. “Take Naruto in for Minato-sensei. Do it for your student, whom I am sure you loved dearly. Imagine how Minato-sensei would feel, knowing his beloved teacher left his newborn baby alone. How could you face him after abandoning his legacy?” 

“Gai…” Kakashi’s visible eye widens as he stares at Gai. He had always known Gai had conviction and honor, but this was the first time Kakashi truly saw Gai stand for something outside of a battle. Genma looks at Gai too, with something like approval and pride. Kakashi, for the umpteenth time in the last hour, is strangely grateful for Gai’s presence.

“You have to understand, kids, there’s nothing I can do. I can’t take him in, it’s just not feasible. I have nowhere to stay, and I have…” Jiraiya very briefly flicks his eyes to the back of the tent before returning to meet Kakashi, Gai, and Genma’s eyes. “Research, that I need to be working on. I’ll be traveling indefinitely. I can’t just bring a baby with me for that.”

Genma laughs, but it’s dry and mocking. It doesn’t sound much like the easygoing teen Kakashi knew tangentially through his “rivalry” with Gai. “Everyone knows your research is just peeping on girls in hot springs and bars so you can write your shitty porn, Jiraiya. Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai literally had copies of _Icha-Icha Paradise_ that they jokingly annotated on their bookshelves. You’re not fooling anyone, just stop making excuses and take responsibility for once in your life. He’s a _baby._ ”

“I’m telling you, I can’t fucking take him in! It doesn’t matter how much you kids think I can, I’m incapable of it at this point! He needs to stay within the city as the jinchuuriki, and I can’t tie myself to Konoha! I’ll try to be involved in the kid’s life somehow, but this isn’t what I signed up for! I just can’t do it.” Jiraiya is frustratedly running his hands through his mane of white hair, starting to get visibly angry. 

Kakashi is an elite shinobi. He understands the value of patience in battle. More importantly, though, he understands the importance of picking your battles at all. So, he inhales deeply through his nose, closes his eyes, and looks directly at Jiraiya. “Fine. It’s clear you’re not up to the task. It’s useless to continue arguing about this. Even if we could somehow force you to take Naruto in, it’s obvious that you would be a horrible parent, given that you couldn’t even address Naruto by his name just now.” Jiraiya visibly flinches at this. _Good,_ Kakashi thinks. He continues. “We need to find a place for him to grow up safe and happy. If you’re so set on going directly against Sensei’s wishes, you better have a good alternative plan.” 

Jiraiya actually thinks before he answers here, which Kakashi hopes means that he actually gives the slightest damn about the son of the Yondaime and his best student. “We could just give Naruto to the orphanage.” Kakashi opens his mouth to tell Jiraiya that’s a fucking stupid idea, but he continues, “there are bound to be a lot of orphans because of the amount of destruction. Nobody knows that Kushina was pregnant, but the only other person I’ve ever seen with hair like the kid’s was Minato, so hopefully, people should make the connection. If they figure they’re taking care of the Yondaime’s kid, maybe they’ll treat him well.”

Kakashi looks to Gai. He doesn’t trust himself to say anything that isn’t thoroughly offensive at the moment, regardless of his objective feelings on the matter. Gai, praise him, seems to be calmer. “Jiraiya-sama, while I agree with my eternal rival’s sentiments wholeheartedly regarding your blatant cowardice regarding Naruto, I agree with you that perhaps sending him to an orphanage may be the best course of action. Although people will be more likely to label Naruto as the jinchuuriki than the son of the Yondaime, Naruto will have the opportunity to grow around other children his age. I do not feel comfortable burdening Minato-sensei’s friends with a newborn because they have their own families, and I am aware of our own shortcomings. Not only are we young and highly inexperienced, we are also active shinobi. We could neither bring Naruto on missions with us, nor could we leave him behind. Thus, giving him to the civilian-led orphanage with good faith seems to be our best option.” 

Jiraiya nods, looking relieved. _Asshole_ , Kakashi grimaces. “I’m going to go talk to my toads and give them an update on everything that’s happened since last night.” It’s an obvious ploy to get out of the tent and Kakashi’s obvious disdain towards him, but Kakashi lets it slide. He’s pissed enough without having to look at Jiraiya’s face even more. He looks back down at Naruto, who has found time to grab Gai’s other index finger with his other fist, and is now aggressively waving them around, mesmerized by the movements. 

It hits Kakashi at that moment how little he can do for this innocent baby. If Sensei’s wish had just been to go out into greater Fire Country to track and assassinate someone who was thinking about hurting Naruto, he could have done it. If Sensei needed Kakashi to fight alongside him on the battlefield, he could have done it. But raising a _baby_? Kakashi could scarcely imagine what a newborn baby could eat. His apartment was nowhere near suitable for a baby to live in, with weapons strewn about haphazardly, uncovered food on tables and counters, and he had no desire to ever step foot into the Hatake Clan compound ever again, lest he relive the first five years of his life. 

_But I should be able to_ , he thinks. _I failed one mission already, I should be able to make up for it. But I_ can’t, _I just can’t. I can’t raise a kid, I can’t love a baby, I don’t know how to do this._ Kakashi feels weirdly like he’s floating and like he’s about to collapse. _I failed Sensei, I failed Kushina, and now I’ve failed Naruto_ , he breathes heavily through his nose, and tries to accept this as his reality. _I failed. All I can do now is try to move forward._

“–the orphanage, like I said, is another feasible option–” 

“–I mean, they’re shinbi, they’ll see the hair–”

“–the seal–”

Kakashi tries to regulate his breathing, slowing down his heart rate and forcing himself into battle calm so that he can focus less on the fact that he is an abject failure of a student, and more on possible solutions to the current problem of Naruto. The longer he inhales, the cooler his head feels, the more concentrated his energy gets, and the voices of Genma, Gai, and Jiraiya float softly around him until they become blurred tones that meld in together with their chakras, subtle markers of human presence around Kakashi instead of the suffocating reminders of his failures they were before. He feels the chakra in his eye settle, stretches his fingers, and straightens his spine so he stands at full height, poised and ready for battle. When he opens his black eye, Gai, Genma, and Jiraiya are looking at him warily. Kakashi is vaguely aware of the staticy feeling of his hair and clothes, the light shimmering of chakra around his body. He decides whether or not to care. He does not. 

“Jiraiya.” Kakashi looks up to meet his eyes and hold his gaze steadily. Maintaining eye contact, Kakashi pulls up his hitai-ate to reveal his sharingan, three tomoes spinning lazily. To his credit, Jiraiya doesn’t flinch, but he sees Genma and Gai’s eyes widen in his peripheral vision. “I will remember every single detail of this exchange, down to every second of hesitation. If I figure out you’ve disrespected Sensei’s wishes even more than you already have, I will kill you. If I’m called a traitor and made a missing-nin for that, I don’t give a fuck. Naruto is all I have left. Do you understand?” Kakashi keeps his voice flat and inflectionless, as he would during an interrogation. He doesn’t have much in the way of emotional and passionate appeals like Gai, and he doesn’t have the inherent protective instinct and ability to make connections like Genma, but Kakashi is the son of the White Fang, the youngest Commanding Officer in all of ANBU, and he is a Sharingan. He understands war, even if the battle lies in negotiation and coercion.

Jiraiya straightens, too. When he responds, his voice is grave. “I understand.” 

“You will take Naruto to the orphanage. You will do your part to conceal Naruto’s identity as both Sensei’s son and the jinchuuriki if anybody asks you. You will not just drop him off and leave, you will see that he is safe, situated, and cared for. You will make sure that the head of the orphanage is competent.” Jiraiya nods, and something else occurs to Kakashi, something that had felt off since he found out Sensei and Kushina had died. And since Jiraiya had to agree to the terms he set, he may as well keep going. “And while you’re outside of Konoha, knowingly going directly against your student’s wishes–” Jiraiya finally flinches, “you will also do research on who exactly was responsible for taking advantage of Kushina and releasing the Kyuubi. You will also find out exactly which of the village advisors and elders was the traitor that told someone that Kushina was pregnant at all. This will be your top and only priority until you find information. I do not give a singular shit about your porn. Am I understood?” Gai and Genma are still looking back and forth between Kakashi and Jiraiya warily. There’s no way they didn’t also figure out there was a traitor of some kind, instinctively, but Kakashi voicing it has made it a certainty rather than a suspicion. Kakashi knows himself. He is never wrong. Jiraiya doesn’t respond, so Kakashi repeats, this time more forcefully, “ _Am I understood?_ ” 

Finally, Jiriaya nods. “You have my word. I will take Naruto. I’ll make sure he’s got someone good taking care of him, it’s the least I can do as his godfather.” 

“That’s the first thing out of your mouth tonight that hasn’t been complete bullshit,” Kakashi says. Nonetheless, he’s satisfied. He covers his red eye again and starts to lessen the flow of his chakra until he feels his sharingan stop spinning and come to a rest beneath his hitai-ate. 

They all look down at Naruto again, who is still softly gurgling and playing around with Gai’s fingers. Again, Kakashi thinks about how much Sensei and Kushina would’ve loved this cheerful baby, would’ve been head over heels for him, would’ve leveled cities to protect his tiny, chubby fingers, just to see the stretch of his mouth into a guileless smile, and allows himself one more moment of self-hatred for failing his mission. 

Outside, the sun is starting to rise, and the sunbeams are filtering through the layers of soot, dust, and smoke to shed small pools of light along the sides of buildings and the ground. Naruto will start to get hungry soon, and as Kakashi looks hastily across the medical tent, there’s nothing they could possibly give Naruto to tide him by. He has no idea what babies eat, but he’s pretty sure you can’t give a newborn baby soldier pills. 

It looks like Gai comes to the same conclusion, because he swallows, eyes still on Naruto, and says, “Jiraiya-sama, I think the time has time for you to take Naruto. He has been here for quite a while, and I think he will start to get hungry soon. We need to give him to someone who knows what they’re doing.” He holds Naruto out to Jiraiya, who takes him hesitantly. 

Genma speaks up. “The higher ups will wonder what happened to Naruto. I don’t know who they’re going to appoint Hokage right now, but as soon as you drop Naruto off, find Shikaku-san and tell him where Naruto is. Even if he can’t adopt Naruto right now, I know he’ll want to know where he is, as Minato-sensei’s friend.” 

“I will. I’m sure Naruto will be in good hands there, the color of his hair is unmistakable. And who could refuse a newborn baby, even if the Kyuubi is sealed in it?” Jiraiya chuckles, trying to lighten the mood. 

It doesn’t work. “Stick to your word, Sannin. I _will_ find out otherwise.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Well, I’ll be going now. You kids get some sleep, alright? I’ll check in soon, or at least send Fukasaku or another toad with a message.” Jiraiya steps outside the tent, the sun now giving his white hair a soft glow. 

They watch him leave. As soon as Jiraiya is out of sight, the exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours hits Kakashi like a punch to the gut, and he keels over onto Gai’s shoulder. He feels himself breathing– panting, really– heavily, and his hands are clammy. _Chakra exhaustion,_ he realizes. 

“My rival!!” Gai panics and looks down at him. “Are you feeling unwell? We must have one of these honorable medic-nin heal you!” 

Kakashi shakes his head softly. “N…. no. Follow Jiraiya, I need t- to follow him, I don’t know if he’s,” Kakashi swallows around his dry throat, “if he’s keeping Naruto safe….” He tries to push himself away and off of Gai’s shoulder, but Gai quickly clamps him down with a chakra-enhanced grip. 

Genma moves around Gai to bracket Kakashi on the other side, sighing. “Come on, man, we’re all tired. You made the guy promise to keep him safe, you’ve made your case. The most you can do for anyone right now is rest. You’re no use to anyone in this state.” 

Kakashi shakes his head, more aggressively now. There is a stubborn downturn to his mask-covered lips, faintly reminiscent of Obito, as he mumbles, “I can still be,” he tries to catch his breath– when did he get out of breath? “I can still be useful, let me go, let me go follow him, Gai, let me go–”

“ _Kakashi_ .” At the sound of his real name out of Gai’s mouth, Kakashi stills. “I cannot let you continue to be reckless. You will burn yourself out, and then you will fail your mission from Minato-sensei _again_ because you will have died instead of living long enough to see Naruto grow up and protect him.” 

“Gai–”

“My dear teammate, please allow me to finish. Kakashi, you did the best you could have. You completed the mission the Yondaime gave you to the best of your ability. I am absolutely positive that Minato-sensei would be extremely proud of how you are ensuring that Naruto is taken care of. You know you remember every single detail of your conversation with Jiraiya-sama, and you know you will find out if he even thinks about going back on his word to you. You have done everything you possibly could have done, and _more._ And I promise you, as soon as we are able, I will come with you to check in on Naruto and ensure that he remains youthful and healthy. But for now, please, _sleep_.” Gai loosens his grip on Kakashi’s shoulder infinitesimally. “Can you do that for me and Minato-sensei, my eternal rival?” 

Kakashi feels his lids starting to get heavy and his vision starting to blur, and it seems like he has no other choice but to give in to his exhaustion. Gai guides him to a pallet, and asks a nearby medic-nin for a bottle of water. And with a quiet sort of care not normally associated with Gai at all, he helps Kakashi lie down as Kakashi continues to lean against him, and brings the light blanket up to tuck Kakashi in. Kakashi feels something press against his palm once his head hits the pillow, and slowly brings his hand up to his face so that his strained eye can focus on it. “...Soldier pill?” 

Gai’s lips quirk up. He speaks quietly now, and Kakashi feels himself getting lulled to sleep by the naturally rhythmic intonation of Gai’s voice, as he says, “If I’m not here when you wake up. I don’t want you to lose any energy.” 

Kakashi nods, a short, abortive movement that serves more to adjust his head on the pillow below him than actually show any comprehension of Gai’s statement. Kakashi is mainly focused on how he doesn’t think he would’ve made it out of last night alive without him and his uncanny ability to put exactly what Kakashi wants to say into words. He feels Gai’s hand brush against the cool, scratched metal of his hitai-ate, hears Genma murmur “We’ll be back soon,” and senses the two chakra signatures of just about the last two shinobi in Konoha he can force himself to give a damn about getting farther and farther away. Once he can no longer sense the energetic green of Gai and Genma’s sharp but subdued blue, Kakashi accepts his fate and finally, finally succumbs to sleep. 

* * *

Shimura Danzo stands at the head of the cedar table, looking down at what remains of the Yondaime Hokage’s Council. Although he stands on a cane, brow furrowed, eyes sunken, he exudes a quietly cunning power that establishes his position as alpha in this meeting. Mitokado Homura and Utatane Koharu, his former teammates, flank him on either side of the table, exuding an air of self-satisfaction and arrogance that comes with knowing you have the most power in Konoha and being drunk on the fact. When Danzo sits down, the rest of the table will have to look at him, Homura, and Koharu together, whether they like it or not. Despite their age and declining abilities, there is no doubt that they are all former disciples of the Nidaime Hokage himself, the Lion of the Battlefield, Senju Tobirama. Despite their small number and the vastness of the table they sit at, Danzo, Homura, and Koharu overwhelm and suffocate the dim meeting room in the Hokage tower, making the normally spacious room feel as confining as the deepest cells in the Torture and Intelligence building. They have done so on purpose. 

It’s obvious, then, that the meeting room’s other occupants pick up on their energy quickly and steer as far away from them as possible. In the end, Shikaku and Fugaku draw the short straws, sitting next to Homura and Koharu and representing the Jounin Forces and the Konoha Police Force, respectively. The Inuzuka, Yamanaka, Akimichi, Aburame, and Hyuga clan heads also line the table, and chatter amongst themselves, checking in and catching up with each other after the disastrous events of the last three days. Jiraiya, the only Sannin in Konoha, Genma, guard of the Yondaime, and Kakashi, Commanding Officer of ANBU, sit near the opposite head of the table. Together, the three of them face off Danzo and his two accompanying advisors, unsure of what this meeting will bring. 

As soon as both of them are situated, Kakashi turns to Jiraiya, who anticipates what Kakashi is about to ask and answers before Kakashi can say anything. “I dropped Naruto off successfully. They know his full name is Uzumaki Naruto, but because the orphanage head is civilian, I don’t think she made the connection between Uzumaki and Kushina. I didn’t mention the fact that he is the jinchuuriki, and his parents didn’t come up. The orphanage is safe, and they seem like competent people. I’m not sure what will happen once they find out about the seal, but they seem to understand that they can’t just throw a newborn baby out for that reason.”

Kakashi narrows his one visible eye, and mentally weighs the pros and cons of leaving the meeting right now to find Gai and visit the orphanage. _Danzo is a creepy motherfucker, though, and this meeting is important_ , he thinks. _Naruto will just have to wait._ Kakashi turns to Genma instead. “How is Gai?” 

Surprisingly, the only indication that Genma is at all shocked that Kakashi cares enough about Gai’s wellbeing to ask after him is his right eyebrow twitching. “He’s resting up. He’s been recovered for a while now, but I’m forcing him to take it easy so he doesn’t completely screw himself over when he trains. He’ll be glad for you to stop by.” 

If Kakashi stops by, he can get Gai to visit the orphanage with him and watch Naruto from afar. And if they need to talk to anyone, Gai can do the talking and make sure that neither of them get in trouble for wandering through the civilian part of town while they’re on-duty. He doesn’t say this out loud. Instead, he gives Genma a short nod, and says, “I’ll make some time.”

Genma and Jiraiya’s eyes both widen, and Kakashi very determinedly pretends not to notice both of them glancing skeptically at one another. 

Mercifully, Danzo chooses that exact moment to call the meeting to order. He lightly touches his walking stick to the ground, and says, not bothering to speak over any of the chatting clan heads, “I would like to address the issue of choosing a Hokage.” 

By the way a hush immediately fell over the room, it would be as if Danzo had screamed, or released a throat paralysis jutsu. He continues as if the room had been this silent the entire time, staring at a spot just above Jiraiya’s left shoulder, avoiding eye contact with any of the twelve other shinobi sitting at the table. “While we, too, mourn the Yondaime’s tragic demise and appreciate the sacrifice he made to protect the village, we are of the opinion that a Hokage must be chosen at once, in order to preserve Konoha’s image amongst the other hidden villages. We cannot afford to be weak, now more than ever.” 

“ _We_ ,” Kakashi hears Inoichi mutter next to him. “This is pathetic.” 

Kakashi has only had access to these meetings for the past year and half, during which time, only three meetings of this level were called. But Kakashi is sharp. He picks up on Danzo’s verbiage just as quickly as Inoichi, and likes it just as much. That is to say, Kakashi is immediately on edge. 

Shikaku picks up on his window to prompt Danzo to continue, although he does it without much enthusiasm. “Danzo-sama, by calling this meeting I assume that you already have someone in mind for the position. Is that correct to assume?” 

Danzo nods, resting his palms at the top of his walking stick. Kakashi is starting to become thoroughly annoyed by Danzo’s decision to continue standing once the meeting has started. Sensei never did that when he led meetings. “That is correct, Shikaku-san,” Danzo responds. “We believe--” 

It seems like Kakashi wasn’t the only one who got frustrated at Danzo’s blatant show of superiority, because Inuzuka Tsume interrupts. “Danzo-sama, why don’t you sit down with the rest of us? I’m having a hard time hearing you,” she smirks. 

Kakashi immediately stills every single muscle in his face so that he doesn’t give into instinct and immediately drop his jaw at Tsume’s comment. Anyone with half a brain cell or even passing knowledge of the Inuzuka clan understands that they are _trackers_ , there is no way in hell a kunoichi as powerful as Tsume is having a hard time hearing Danzo. Fugaku is focusing extremely hard on a piece of lint on Shikaku’s shoulder, while Shikaku himself has elected to remain completely still. Chouza, meanwhile, is doing nothing to hide his mirth, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Inoichi looks about two seconds away from following suit. 

Danzo lowers himself into his chair with about as dignity as he can muster after having his pride wounded by Tsume at the first official meeting he has called. He waits a moment, refusing to directly acknowledge her, and continues on. “We believe that Sarutobi Hiruzen is the ideal choice, given that he is already acquainted with the position. We are in a state of emergency, and there is no one else we could feasibly declare the new Hokage. We do not have the resources to take any jounin from the battlefield and rebuilding efforts currently, nor do we have anybody to train a new Hokage. Are there any objections to this proposal?” 

_That… actually isn’t a bad suggestion_. _All the current clan heads are heading important branches of Konoha that we can’t redirect resources from, and there is no one in the current group of jounin that has the skill and political savvy to take the hat._ Glancing to his left, Kakashi assesses Jiraiya, and laughs inwardly. _There’s him, but he can’t even be trusted with a baby, let alone the future of Konoha. I think that pretty much settles it. I would’ve liked it to not be Sarutobi, but it’s the best option we have. All_ I _need to do is focus on training and making sure I don’t disappoint Sensei and Kushina. Whatever gets me out of this meeting._

Shikaku, living up to the Nara clan’s reputation, speaks up. “Danzo-sama, I appreciate your haste in calling this meeting, and I understand your thought process quite easily.” He remains focused on the stack of papers in front of him, keeping his face entirely, purposefully blank. Kakashi is instantly reminded of the fact that Shikaku often leads trial proceedings and assists Inoicihi with particularly challenging interrogations. “Why have you and your allies chosen The Professor? Why not you yourself, Danzo-sama? I was under the impression that you’ve been interested in the Hokage position for quite some time now. Giving up the opportunity to act as Konoha’s fifth Hokage, even temporarily? Indulge me in explaining your reasoning further.”

The temperature in the room drops ten degrees. Shikaku continues to hold himself in that signature Nara way, body lazy and slouched, eyes sharp and alert. Some eyes widen, some shift in their seats, Homura and Koharu openly staring disgustedly at Shikaku. Kakashi, though, is curious. It is unspoken yet common knowledge that Danzo has lusted after the Hokage position since the Nidaime took the hat, yet is constantly turned down. Kakashi is aware that Danzo fancies himself as a sort of “Shadow Hokage,” who works towards the same goals as his public counterpart. Danzo’s delusions of grandeur peaked during the Sandiame’s era through ROOT, which was supposedly disbanded. But from the way Danzo’s grip on his walking stick tightens and his lips thin, Kakashi figures there has to be something else at play here. 

Every single person, save Homura and Koharu, turns to look at Danzo directly now. Even sitting at the back, Kakashi can feel the weight of every clan head’s stare, the cold, assessing gaze of war-hardened and politically savvy shinobi. Danzo is not the leader he fancies himself to be. He is not the genius that Kakashi is. And so when Danzo responds, Kakashi very subtly uncovers his sharingan. 

“Shikaku. Thank you for your…. Concern. Although I regret to have to answer this question in such a… public manner, I will, as you say, indulge you.” Danzo briefly clenches his jaw and then releases it. “Currently, I do not feel as though I could contribute greatly to the welfare of Konoha in the position of Hokage. Like everyone else attending this meeting, I could serve Konoha better through my own unique duties.” 

Shikaku’s gaze narrows, and he turns away to look back at the stack of papers in front of him, absentmindedly running his fingers the writing on the top sheet. The temperature of the room continues to drop, and in the corners of the room, Kakashi sees shadows begin to dance and lengthen across the walls, and Genma meets his eyes from across the table, panicked. 

Then, for reasons unbeknownst to everyone in the room, Shikaku releases his chakra and the room immediately lightens again. “Well, Danzo-sama, that certainly is a viable explanation. Thank you for putting the needs of Konoha above your personal desires. This will be remembered. Are there any objections to Danzo-sama’s recommendation for the Sandaime to take the hat again now that we’ve all heard his explanation?” He pauses, and briefly meets Kakashi’s eyes as he scans the table. As Shikaku lets his eyes pass over Kakashi, he casually brings his hand up to scratch at his hairline, resting his fingers along his forehead for a split second more, before continuing on to check on the remaining members of the table. Kakashi immediately takes that for the symbol that it is, and keeps his sharingan uncovered. “None? Perfect. Then I will bring the news to Sarutobi-sama. With no other aims for this meeting, Danzo, will you dismiss us?” 

Danzo complies. People get up and stretch, clan heads returning to their usual chatter. Kakashi hears Tsume’s signature bark of laughter and then a dull thud, he suspects she’s hit Shibi Aburame rather forcefully as they converse. He remains close to Genma and Jiraiya, standing with them in order to maintain the facade of interaction, but as soon as both of them saw Kakashi’s sharingan still on, they stayed quiet. 

Kakashi feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around. “Shikaku,” he says, avoiding any formalities. 

Used to Kakashi’s constant insolence through his friendship with Minato, Shikaku just smiles dryly. “How are you holding up?”

“Fine. Gai’s been making sure I sleep and eat. Genma’s been good too.” Kakashi jerks his head to where Genma stands behind Kakashi, and shoves his hands into his pockets. “I’m trying to get back to training as soon as I can, though.”

Shikaku nods. “And how is he?” He glances up quickly at Jiraiya while he says it, intending the question to be heard by him as well. 

There’s no question about who exactly Shikaku is referring to, but Kakashi doesn’t dare to refer to Naruto by name here, not in front of so many people who he doesn’t yet know to trust. “He’s okay. Jiraiya dropped him off at the orphanage a few days ago. I haven’t been in to see how he’s doing but according to him, he seems fine.” 

Both of Shikaku’s eyebrows shoot up into his forehead, a rare but clear sign of shock. “Jiraiya-sama, he’s not with you? I thought Minato named you godfather?” 

Genma snorts from behind Kakashi. “Yeah, we said that too. This asshole doesn’t give a damn about Minato-sensei’s wishes, I guess. We decided the orphanage was the safest option.” 

“And you agree with this?” Shikaku asks Kakashi directly. 

“I don’t approve of it. But I know it’s our best option.” 

Shikaku looks assessingly at Kakashi and then Jiraiya for a moment, and nods. “I would have offered,” he says, glancing away. _He feels guilty_ , Kakashi realizes. “But Yoshino and I have Shikamaru to take care of, and the Jounin division…” he trails off. 

The absurdity of Shikaku implicitly asking Kakashi for forgiveness is not lost on him. “Don’t sweat it. We know the position everyone’s in, which is why we decided this was the best option. I think it’ll be fine.” 

Shikaku nods, looking slightly relieved, and then straightens again, seamlessly transforming from Shikaku, Minato’s friend and first-time father, to Nara-sama, commander of the jounin forces and advisor to the Yondaime Hokage. “Kakashi,” he says in a low voice. 

Kakashi immediately snaps to attention, slouch lessening, and meeting Shikaku’s eyes. His sharingan still pulses with chakra, Obito’s triplet tomoes turning lazily in his eye socket. “What do you need?”

“I know you recorded the relevant parts of this meeting. I have a hunch that Danzo, and by extension, Homura and Koharu, are hiding something from us. I have no idea what it is, but the fact that Danzo values whatever he’s doing enough to reject the Hokage position after so long is extremely concerning to me. And my hunch is never wrong.” 

“I figured the same thing,” Kakashi cocks his head lightly. “But why is that relevant to me?” 

“Danzo is one of the people who knew about Kushina’s pregnancy.” Kakashi feels his blood run cold, and senses Jiraiya and Genma both stiffen in their places behind him. “I need you to make sure whatever it is he’s planning does not bring harm to my best friend’s legacy. Am I clear?” 

Kakashi feels like he can’t breathe again, and tries to fight the urge to wash his hands. Or worse, find Gai and do something stupid, like ask Gai to tell him about his day as a distraction. Instead, he says, “we have no idea whether or not we need to worry about Danzo based on this meeting.” 

Shikaku levels a flat stare at Kakashi. “You and I both know you aren’t stupid. You’ve memorized this entire meeting. Tell me, Kakashi of the Sharingan, how many instances of possible dishonesty did you catch in Danzo’s speech and body language this past hour?” 

Automatically, Kakashi responds, “twenty-three, sir.” 

“Right. And you’re telling me there is no possibility of any of those twenty-three instances having anything to do with the newborn and vulnerable weapon of this village?” 

Kakashi gulps. “No, sir.”

“Are you willing to take that chance, at the risk of not only Konoha, but the will of my best friend and your Sensei?” 

“No, sir.” 

“Good. Do you understand what I am asking you to do, Kakashi?” 

“Yes.” 

“Indulge me. For the sake of Minato, what exactly am I asking you to do?” 

Kakashi’s eye begins to throb, but he meets Shikaku’s gaze steadily now. “Whatever it takes.” 

Shikaku maintains his stare for just a moment longer, and then clasps Kakashi’s shoulder. It feels different than when Sensei and Gai did it, but Kakashi doesn’t find himself hating this either, strangely enough. “I’m proud of you,” he says, and Kakashi hastily moves to cover his sharingan as an excuse to draw attention away from the fact that his one black eye is beginning to mist over. 

“Right,” he says awkwardly, “thanks.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, okay? I know I can’t be a parent, but Minato and Kushina would murder me if I just disappeared from the kid’s life entirely.” Kakashi nods again, and Shikaku finally releases Kakashi from his presence. 

Kakashi, Genma, and Jiraiya step out of the meeting room, not wanting to be alone with the steadily decreasing number of clan heads and Danzo. The walk down to the street is quiet, as the three of them process Shikaku’s demand of Kakashi. 

When they reach the street below, Jiraiya takes the opportunity to speak up again. “Kakashi, Genma,” he begins, waiting for both boys to turn their attention to him. “I have to go back to Mount Myoboku and tell the Elders what’s happened here. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” 

Kakashi immediately wants to do things to Jiraiya that he is fairly certain would classify him as a missing-nin, but he is too tired. Thankfully, Genma responds instead. “What the _fuck_ , old man! You can’t even stay to check up on your kid? What’s wrong with you?” 

“I don’t like it either, kid. But like I said, it’s just not feasible. I can’t bring a baby to Mount Myoboku, and I can’t take him while I’m doing research, either. It’s not safe for either of us. I can’t stay in Konoha, no matter how much I want to, either.”

But Kakashi is past the point of giving a damn about Jiraiya’s lack of commitment to Naruto. “How will we be able to contact you if something comes up?” He asks instead. 

“You can contact me through your summons,” he responds. “Pakkun has access to the sage realm, too.” 

“Pakkun?” Genma asks. Kakashi waves him off. He doesn’t have the energy for this right now. 

“Anyway, before I leave, I wanted you to have a copy of this. It’s Minato and Kushina’s copy, so keep it safe.” Jiraiya pulls out a small, white, hardcover book from his back pocket. “You don’t have to read it, but I thought you might like it.”

Kakashi looks unimpressed at the cover, refusing to acknowledge the fact that he now possesses something of Sensei’s. Something he can _keep_. “‘The Tales of a Gutsy Ninja?’ You couldn’t think of anything better to name your stupid book?” 

Jiraiya chuckles. “I’m better at story writing than title writing, but that’s neither here nor there. Just keep it safe for me, alright? And if anything happens, send me a message. Even if I’m in the middle of something, I’ll travel back here as soon as you and Naruto need me. Okay?” 

Kakashi looks at Jiraiya, already retreating to Konoha’s gates, and sighs. “You better not be lying, old man.” 

And with that, Jiraiya shunshins off, leaving only a trail of leaves in his wake. They stare at the spot where he disappeared for a moment longer, and Kakashi starts to feel the exhaustion from interacting with so many people and using his sharingan for so long. 

Luckily, Genma catches on. “Let’s go find Gai,” he says, elbowing Kakashi. “God knows you need to tell your eternal rival what happened today.”

“Ugh, don’t say that,” Kakashi grimaces. “It sounds weird when you do.” But Kakashi moves with Genma anyway, debating how much chakra he will have to use to cover his ears when Gai greets him at the door. 

For some reason, he doesn’t really mind that. 


	2. Chapter 2

Gai prides himself on his training discipline. Every morning, rain or shine, Gai wakes up at 4:30 to run 50 laps around the village, first on his legs, and then on his hands. After his cardio, Gai makes his way to training ground 7 for weight training for an hour, then spends the following two hours engaging in taijutsu practice. On duller days, Gai will wrap his hands and punch the dummies in the clearing until they turn to dust, meticulously checking and adjusting his form for weight and agility differences in various enemies. More often than not, Gai will enlist the help of Genma or Asuma, and spar against his dear teammate and fellow Konoha chuunin in order to hone his taijutsu. When both are available, Gai will fight through the whole training session, while either Genma or Asuma sits out and calls out various scenarios and places where Gai’s form is less than impeccable. On energetic days, Gai will fight both Asuma and Genma at the same time in order to keep his kenjutsu intact. Days like those always leave the three of them plastered to the ground after a few rounds, exhausted and yearning for dango or a trip to Yakiniku Q, but satisfied. Gai’s absolute favorite days, though, are far and inbetween, when he catches his eternal rival when he happens to be in the exact right mood, and issues the perfect challenge to Kakashi that convinces him to go through katas and spar with Gai via their rivalry. Gai has found that the best way to extract his eternal rival from that dark and isolated mental space he lives in is to make the challenge needlessly extravagant and showy, and make the punishment as pointless and long-winded as possible, in order to motivate Kakashi to properly win. Because as much as Kakashi grumbles and scuffs his feet as the challenge is issued, once it starts, Kakashi does not participate halfway. Kakashi will sprint to the other side of the village with no regard for his appearance or reputation in order to meet Gai on top of the Nidaime’s head and play rock-paper-scissors, as long as someone is keeping score. And once the initial challenge is completed, Kakashi will spar endlessly with Gai, the only one who can keep up with Gai’s taijutsu endurance, and use his sharingan to point out weak spots, nitpick Gai’s swings and follow-throughs to the exact degree of imperfection. And when his eternal rival roughly grabs Gai’s elbow to adjust Gai’s stance when holding a katana, Gai only feels joy and honor to be training with the heir of the Hatake clan, the Samurai of the East, and none of the shame that normally comes with being corrected. 

Today is one of those days. Last night had marked a month since the Kyuubi attack, and Gai had visited Kakashi at his apartment to find him standing at his sink with the water running, mask down, eyes unblinking and far away, sharingan activated. Gai made as much noise as he could coming in to let Kakashi pull his mask up and maintain some semblance of privacy, but as soon as Kakashi sensed someone else in his home, he lashed out unthinkingly. His gaze was blank and unseeing as he slammed Gai against his wall and pressed the tip of a kunai to his throat, only snapping out of whatever state he was in when he heard Gai yell, for the third time, “My rival!! Kakashi!! KAKASHI _!_ ” 

And like a switch had been flipped, Kakashi gasped and gracelessly fumbled away from Gai, completely alike the always-alert, perfect shinobi Gai sees on missions. “Gai….. sorry, I….” Kakashi hastily covered his sharingan and awkwardly looked around the room, as if one of his shelves or couches could offer him an explanation. None of them did, so Kakashi redirected: “I’ve been distracted today. Did you need me for something?” 

And Gai saw then, the real consequences of Kakashi continuing to isolate himself in his grief, how much the weight of being the only surviving Hatake and member of Dai-nana-han weighed on him. On one level, everyone in Gai and Kakashi’s rookie class knew Kakashi had issues– no early teenager known as “Friend Killer” in international bingo books got by without any severe mental handicaps, but Kakashi had always seemed fine on missions and in the few social events he had been dragged to by Gai. No one thought anything of it. But Gai thought of it now. Kakashi had lost his clan and his team, but Gai will be damned if he ever lets Kakashi think he’s alone. 

Instead of saying this directly, Gai just flashed his signature smile and gave Kakashi an eager thumbs-up. “My eternal rival! I was wondering if you would honor me with your presence tomorrow morning for training! I am training with nunchaku and would appreciate your assistance!” 

Kakashi took the opportunity to come back to himself, and nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve sparred against a decent kenjutsu user. I’ll be there.” 

Gai felt his cheeks heat up at the words, because he knew his eternal rival didn’t mean his words as a compliment. Kakashi just objectively considered Gai to be good enough to train against, and that meant more than any compliment would have. “Splendid! Then, the last person to get to training ground 7 tomorrow morning must do ten additional laps around the village on their hands! Are these acceptable terms, my eternal rival?” 

Kakashi took a moment to ponder the terms, even though Gai knows Kakashi always accepts them. Surprisingly, Kakashi flashed a thumbs up too. “I acknowledge and accept your terms, Gai. Tomorrow morning, then.” 

And so led Gai to where he is now, running across the rooftops to the training grounds as the first signs of the sun hit the clouds above Konoha. The village is beautiful from this vantage point, the twists and turns of the roads, the contrast between the shaded alleyways and the outlines of rooftops, the trees, the Hokage monument, which have just started to get streaked with scarlet and gold. 

Gai hops down onto the streets halfway across the village so that he isn’t cheating in his rush to the training grounds– a challenge won dishonorably is a challenge lost, after all. He wonders how Naruto is doing, as it’s been almost a month since Gai or Kakashi had been able to see him. As soon as the Sandaime had been settled back into office, he’d put in place a series of new laws, supposedly to help Konoha recover “as a community” from the Kyuubi attack. He had agreed with Kakashi’s idea to conceal Naruto’s identity as both Minato-sensei’s son and the jinchuuriki from the orphanage in order to protect him. However, in order to preserve that law, the Sandaime had ordered that _Naruto himself_ was not allowed to know about the details of his identity. Kakashi had fought viciously against the law, but Sarutobi-sama himself looked resigned to the law, like he couldn’t have done anything about it, himself. Gai ended up having to drag Kakashi out of the Hokage’s office as he slouched and refused to utter a single word, leaving electricity to crackle in the air and the faint smell of metal behind him. 

As he passes the main road, he hears the faint sound of crying. _Who’s crying so early in the morning? If it’s a human, they certainly sound young. I must help them if they’re in distress! Kakashi will understand._ Gai takes a second to divert from his current line of thinking to wonder when exactly his eternal rival became Kakashi in his head, and then thoroughly puts away that line of thought. He frantically follows the sounds of distress, even as it takes him farther away from his destination, and runs through possible courses of action if the person is severely hurt or in need of medical attention. He pays no attention to his surroundings, focused solely on wails growing steadily louder, until he reaches the source of the noise. 

It’s coming from what seems to be a small blanket laid on the side of the road, Gai carefully approaches, not wanting to frighten what lies beneath even more. If it’s a wounded animal, he figures, he can take it to Tsume Inuzuka and see if she knows what to do. If it’s a baby, he can take it to the orphanage, unless it’s a clearly identifiable clan child, in which case, someone will have to answer for child neglect. 

But once he reaches the blanket, Gai sees a shock of blond hair, and gulps. In a show of uncertainty he would almost never be caught displaying in front of his dear teammate or eternal rival, Gai turns around, walks a few steps backward, before turning back and reapproaching the baby. He tries again from a different angle. He checks the angle of the now steadily rising sun to see if the lighting is making a Yamanaka baby’s hair brighter, or a civilian child’s hair blonder. But no matter how he looks at it, the infant abandoned on the side of the road is Minato-sensei’s son, Konoha’s jinchuuriki, the baby Jiraiya promised he would see to safety, _Naruto_. 

Even though Gai was never particularly close to Minato-sensei or Kushina-senpai, he feels like someone punched him in the gut at the sight of Naruto. _Kakashi needs to know_ , he thinks before anything else, and swiftly cradles Naruto against his chest. 

He leans down to look at him and tries talking to him and he runs, narrating the scene. “Naruto, this is where my eternal rival and I– you will meet him soon– meet to run laps around the village and train. You will soon learn to spar with us, I hope! Nearby is where your father used to train his team, which my eternal rival was on, as well. I am looking forward to the day where you can follow in Minato-sensei’s footsteps and continue training of your own there, as well.” Gai bounds past the main gate, going as fast as he can without dropping the baby, knowing Kakashi will probably get worried about him, saying, “Naruto, beyond these trees are the more advanced training grounds! I am excited for you to witness my eternal rival and my advanced sparring here. Kakashi himself sometimes trains his sharingan here with the help of certain Uchiha clan members, although most of them aren’t very fond of him. Did you know your mother was very good friends with Uchiha Mikoto? Maybe if my eternal rival and I end up raising you together, the Uchiha might be nicer to him because of your mother and Mikoto-san’s friendship. I’ll have to ask–” 

“GAI!” 

Gai skids to a stop, immediately, not realizing just how fast he was going because he was so focused on keeping Naruto calm. Kakashi stands just before where Gai managed to stop, looking shocked and, almost…. Worried? 

“Gai! What took you so long? I was almost going to find Genma, you’re never this late. What the hell are you carrying with you?” 

Instead of answering directly, Gai slowly uncovers the part of the blanket that faces Kakashi, flashing him Naruto’s immediately recognizable yellow hair. “I found him… on the way here. I thought you needed to know.” 

Kakashi’s visible eye narrows. “Found? You mean you didn’t stop at the orphanage?” 

Gai gulps, and braces himself for the reaction he knows he is about to get once he reveals the truth. “My eternal rival… you are correct in your thinking. I didn’t stop at the orphanage. Naruto was…. I found him crying on the side of the road.” 

Kakashi doesn’t respond. Kakashi doesn’t say anything for three, five, and then ten whole seconds. Gai takes his eyes off of Naruto, blissfully unaware of the situation yet again, and looks up. Kakashi is standing utterly still, the beginnings of chidori crackling at his fists. Gai feels his hair beginning to stand on end. In the distance, despite the clear day, he thinks he hears a thunderclap. 

“Let me get this straight,” Kakashi begins, voice deceptively calm and inflectionless. “You found Naruto, crying, on the side of the road? Meaning that someone from the orphanage _put him there_? Meaning that, if you hadn’t issued this challenge to me last night, Naruto might not have been found by anybody for at least another few hours?” 

“My eternal rival, I agree, this is extremely dishonorable. Luckily, it seems like Minato-sensei’s precious child was fed relatively recently, as he stopped crying once I picked him up. However, we need to find him food he can eat, water, and I suspect he needs to be changed. Kakashi, what will you do?” 

Kakashi uncovers his sharingan and stares and Gai. “I’m going to memorize the moment you saved Naruto’s life and Minato-sensei’s legacy. We’ll get Genma and see if the three of us can’t figure out a way to keep this kid alive and happy.” He pauses, and thunder cracks again, louder this time. “And then, I’m going to find Jiraiya and kill him.”

Gai holds his gaze. Normally he would be concerned about Kakashi’s extreme display of emotion, but he can feel his own chakra crawling through his neck and his arms, the ground beginning to rumble underneath him. The only reason Gai restrains himself is so that he doesn’t accidentally hurt Naruto, who has started to sleep soundly again. He allows himself this one moment of fury with Kakashi, allows both of them to expend as much unnecessary chakra as they want, because Gai knows they’ll be getting no training done today. 

“Let’s find Genma. He’ll be able to help,” Gai says, breaking the moment. Indulging in their own fury for too long would only harm Naruto further. Gai knows next to nothing about raising a baby, but he’s pretty sure infants can pick up on emotions pretty well, and he doesn’t want Naruto growing up with killing intent and bloodlust around him. 

As they run back towards the opposite side of the village where Genma lives, Gai thinks about how Naruto had inadvertently provided him with an amazing new conditioning idea. _Running with leg weights has become a part of my daily routine, but I never thought to consider how much holding even a small weight in my hands at this speed can inhibit my reaction time and precision. Yosh! I’ll make sure to purchase arm weights later today!_

He looks at Kakashi just to his side, and is jolted out of his thoughts. Kakashi is running with his back unusually straight, posture perfect, completely alert, as if on a mission. Doing a quick check to see if Naruto is still asleep, Gai allows himself another quiet moment of fury on Kakashi’s behalf. _The Sandaime isn’t stupid_ , Gai thinks, _he saw Kakashi in Team 7, on missions, and in ANBU even when Minato-sensei wore the hat. He knows Kakashi has lost everyone he considers family. He_ has _to know Naruto is the only person Kakashi has left. How dare he,_ Gai clenches his fists around Naruto a bit tighter, _How_ dare _he strip my eternal rival of the one thing he has left._

It settles in Gai’s mind, then, that he will do whatever it takes to help Kakashi and Naruto. If that means Kakashi wants to return Naruto to the orphanage and bully the head into taking proper care of Naruto, Gai will support him. If that means Kakashi wants to run away from Konoha and raise Naruto in the Daimyo’s court, Gai will support him. If Kakashi wants to take Naruto to the middle of Ame and train him to be one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, well, Gai will have to start brushing up on his kenjutsu. 

Sometime in the middle of Gai’s musings, the three of them arrive at the Shiranui household. “Arriving” at the “Shiranui household” was actually putting it quite politely. In actuality, Kakashi and Gai walked up the side of Gai’s house, deftly disabled the myriad of traps Genma had set outside his window, and climbed onto Genma’s bed. 

“What the FUCK, Kakashi!” 

Well. They had climbed onto Genma, who had been lying in his bed. There was some frantic hushing, scuffling, and fumbling with a switch, and when pale fluorescent light finally floods Genma’s bedroom, Genma stands, arms crossed, peering down at Kakashi and Gai who sit shoulder to shoulder on Genma’s bed, the latter cradling Naruto, who has miraculously remained asleep the entire time. 

_Genma, my dear teammate, looks like somebody’s mother_ , Gai amusedly thinks. _I wouldn’t mind him being my mom. Wait, what?_ Gai shakes his head slightly trying to dispel that train of thought, shooting Kakashi a look that he hoped conveyed his thoughts weren’t important after seeing Kakashi’s furrowed brow. _Yes, I think Minato-sensei’s precious son could benefit._

“So,” Genma starts. “Is anybody going to explain to me why it seems like you have kidnapped an infant from this village’s orphanage, or am I going to have to take you down to T&I myself?” 

Kakashi is completely unaffected by Genma’s threat. “Shiranui, has chewing on poisoned senbon fried your entire brain? I’m asking seriously, so that we can take you to the hospital and then take the kid elsewhere.” 

Genma, well-practiced in the field of putting up with Kakashi’s constant bullshit, elects him and moves onto Gai instead. “Gai, please tell me you and Kakashi have a legitimate reason for potentially getting us in serious trouble with the Hokage. If you do, that’s fine, but if you were just bored or feeling antsy I’m going to have to ask you guys to stop mercilessly disturbing the precious few hours of sleep I get every night because Kakashi needs an outlet for his angst.” 

Kakashi scoffs. “I do not _angst_.” 

Genma snorts as Gai turns to him, eyes apologetic. “My eternal rival, I find it surprising that a shinobi as remarkable as you has such little awareness of his own image.” 

“ _Image_? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Stop being weird.”

“Gai, as much as I love making Kakashi uncomfortable by exposing him to the fact that he has emotions that can be perceived by other people, you are bothering me on the one day off I’ve had in two weeks. Fess up or leave. Why did you take Naruto?” 

Kakashi snorts derisively. “You think we _took_ Naruto? Where do you even get off?”

At Genma’s confused look, Gai softly fills in the blanks. “My dear teammate, we would never dream of stealing Naruto from a stable and nourishing home. We didn’t steal him. We– _I_ found him. This morning.” Gai quickly looks up at Genma from where he had let his gaze fixate on Naruto, and sees that Genma doesn’t seem to want to respond, so he further elaborates, “yesterday, my eternal rival and I decided to have a challenge as a part of my early morning training. On my way to the grounds, I heard crying, and found Minato-sensei’s precious son alone at the side of the road across from the orphanage. I immediately took Naruto to where I Kakashi and I were supposed to meet, and he suggested we come to you. So here we both are.”

Genma looks between Gai and Kakashi, astonished by the sheer amount of things Genma feels they ended to address. Most pressingly, though: “Kakashi, your first instinct was to come to me for help? I’m so touched!” 

Kakashi rolls his eyes. “Second.”

“Second?”

“Murdering Jiraiya was first.”

“Oh. Oh, well okay, that makes sense. I’m honored that was your first thought after the obvious reaction, then.”

Genma can see Kakashi smirk from under his mask. “Don’t get too cocky, Shiranui.” 

Genma allows himself a small smile back, and then claps his hands together, all business. “Right, since I’m probably the only one here who knows literally anything about raising kids, you will listen to me when I say something about keeping Naruto healthy. Am I clear?” Genma waits for Kakashi and Gai to give stiff, quick nods, and continues. “I’m willing to bet Naruto hasn’t been fed since last night, and there’s no way that’s healthy. We need to get Naruto milk. Gai, come downstairs and help me look for formula. If one of my parents runs into us you’ll be easier to explain than Kakashi. Kakashi, just… hold Naruto and try not to make him cry, okay?” 

As Gai gently but efficiently transfers Naruto into Kakashi’s hold, Kakashi tries very hard not to think about how he has to consciously direct chakra into his arms to stop them from trembling. Alone in the room, Kakashi looks down at Naruto, eyes scrunched shut and light brows furrowed in his sleep, and allows himself to run a finger down Naruto’s soft cheek, where whisker marks are bordering on invisible. He allows himself to use the hand cradling the back of Naruto’s head to slowly card through Naruto’s blond locks, marveling at how similar it catches the light to Minato-sensei’s.

At just over a month old, Naruto is tiny and fragile– tinier, Kakashi thinks, than a baby should be at this age. The span of Kakashi’s hand covers almost the entirety of Naruto’s back, and the hand that cradles Naruto’s head and neck feel abnormally large in comparison to the small body it holds. The possibility that Naruto could’ve been neglected or malnourished sends a spike of anger through Kakashi, and he starts to feel his hands tingle with the beginnings of chidori. 

Immediately, Kakashi catches himself, cursing loudly. _Shit_ , he thinks, _what could have happened if I didn’t catch myself in time? What if I was distracted?_ Kakashi stares, wide eyed, at Naruto, who blicks owlishly back up at him. _What if I killed Naruto, just like I killed Rin? Just like I basically killed Obito? I could’ve just killed Sensei’s whole legacy by_ accident _, because I’m a fucking failure at people. I don’t understand how to not hurt things when I hold them, why in the world was I given Naruto without any supervision? I’m not meant to help things live, I can’t do that, I can only kill them. Sensei, Kushina-senpai, why did you have to leave me here? Couldn’t one of you have stayed behind? Why did you make that god damned pervert Naruto’s godfather? What if someone fucks your kid up even more? This whole village hates the Kyuubi because of the attack and now Naruto is stuck with_ me _, and Gai and Genma but I could’ve just_ killed your baby _, Sensei, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t even deserve to live anymore, I’m tired of killing the people I love, my hands aren’t built to hold babies, I can’t do this!_ Kakashi hears himself heaving again, like the first time he saw Naruto, and scrunches his eyes shut so he can stop the flow of tears and chakra to his orbital pathways. He steadfastly tries to forget the weight on his hands, tries to forget the last time he felt his hands clasp around muscle and fat like this was when his chidori went through Rin’s heart, tries to forget the only reason he’s allowed to hold such a small and fragile symbol of life, the weapon of Konoha, the legacy of his master, is because his master is _dead_ , Jiraiya doesn’t give a damn about Naruto, and the whole village seems like it doesn’t even care. _Obito should’ve been here instead of me. Obito should be here instead of just his stupid sharingan that doesn’t even work correctly. Obito had so much practice being around his little cousins and his siblings in the clan, but who the hell would I have been able to practice with? Who lets Kakashi the Friend Killer touch their baby? I can’t do this, Sensei, I can’t do this, why does it have to be me? You could’ve told me where you were, you could’ve let me protect you, I could’ve died for you, and now I’m here and Naruto has the same hair as you and the same eyes and I almost_ killed him _, Sensei, I almost killed you. I don’t deserve this._

Naruto is crying openly now, disturbed by the patches of wet that have fallen onto his tiny onesie from Kakashi. Kakashi doesn’t even notice, head bent furiously over as his shoulders shake, grip tightening on Naruto’s tiny skull and back with panic, trying and failing over and over to catch his breath. He feels like he’s choking, like he imagines Rin felt in her last seconds, like something keeps trying and replacing to restart and calibrate his heart but it’s going too fast, like there’s static stuck in his airway, like he’s breathing in just enough air to realize he’s choking but not enough to forcefully inhale and open his passageway. It’s only by the miracle of muscle memory and years upon years of training that Kakashi doesn’t drop Naruto, who has begun to squirm and wail in Kakashi’s hold. Kakashi doesn’t even notice, he just keeps trying to force the chakra out of his eyes and his hands and into anywhere else; the lights start to flicker, the floor starts to rumble, Kakashi feels bile rise in his throat–

“KAKASHI!” Distantly, Kakashi feels hands grip his shoulders and shove them back. But he can’t open his eyes, he’s nonsensically afraid if he opens his eyes his sharingan will burn through the cloth on his hitai-ate, he can’t open his eyes because he’s afraid if he opens them he’ll see Rin and Obito looking disappointed at him instead of Genma and Gai, and he can’t afford knowing he has somehow managed to fail his team even after death. He can’t open his eyes or respond, he just keeps shaking his head, taking huge gulps of hair. Suddenly, he realizes his hands are empty and panics _more_ , did he drop Naruto? Where is he? Is he hurt? Is he crying? Desperately, Kakashi tries to regulate and stem the flow of his chakra so his lungs don’t feel like they’re being fried. “KAKASHI!!! Pull yourself together! The house is about to fall apart!” 

Kakashi feels a warm, chakra enhanced hand on the back of his throat, and Kakashi finally has enough energy to reach up and pull his mask down, dry heaving into his own lap. Ten seconds, then thirty, then an entire minute passes, and Kakashi finally gathers enough strength to sit up straight and open his eyes, though his sharingan throbs with the dull pain of chakra overflow. Blearily, Kakashi takes stock of the room around him, so out of it that he forgets to pull up his mask, and entirely misses Gai and Genma’s twin expressions of shock. Luckily, the room is exactly how it was. The floor didn’t actually crack, and the light remains steadfastly on. The only difference is that now, Naruto is quietly guzzling formula from the bottle Gai is feeding him, and Genma is busy putting privacy seals on the door and walls. 

Kakashi feels his back thud against the wall behind him as he slouches and looks up at the ceiling. _This is so pathetic. I’m literally the youngest Commanding Officer in the history of ANBU, and I can’t even hold a baby without hurting it. And then nearly destroying the house because I’m feeling sorry for myself, and now Gai and Genma have both seen me looking like a complete nutcase_ again _, I can’t believe this. I can’t believe this._ His shoulders move up and down as Kakashi sighs loudly. He contemplates pulling his mask back up and decides to leave it; if Gai and Genma haven’t already left by now, Kakashi figures he can trust them to shut up about his face. He looks up at Gai as he moves to sit next to Kakashi, and unconsciously curls in on himself a bit. 

“My rival, what happened?” Gai murmurs as to not further disturb Naruto. He lets his eyes sweep over Kakashi’s profile, too concerned about the tear tracks and bitten lips to marvel at the fact that he is probably one of the first people to ever bear witness to the Copy Cat Ninja’s face. 

Genma turns around from where he stands near the door and nods with an air of finality, a familiar senbon hanging from his lips. “Kakashi, this room has been effectively sealed, so whatever you say here and whatever we talk about afterwards never has to leave this room if you don’t want it to. We just want to keep you and Naruto safe.” 

Kakashi lets out a breath very slowly, and keeps his eyes stubbornly away from Gai and Genma when he grumbles, “I got frustrated and ended up nearly electrocuting Naruto because I couldn’t control my own emotions.” 

Genma lets out a low whistle. “That’s rough, buddy.” 

Gai bumps his shoulders against Kakashi, still cradling Naruto. “My eternal rival, I understand your fright. I think it’s most youthful of you to admit that and share it with us. But that’s why my dear teammate and I are here! We will help you with Naruto so that neither of you feels alone in this. Yosh! Until you’re more at peace, my precious teammate and I will hold Naruto. You don’t have to stress yourself out, okay?” 

“Yeah, and if you were the only one who ended up raising Naruto, we’d have two emotionally constipated war machine man-children instead of just one. I honestly think Kushina-senpai would haunt us for ruining her kid like that.” 

Kakashi shorts, and allows himself a small smile. “Thanks,” he says, a little clearer than the last time he spoke. The room settles, then, and the only sounds remaining are of Naruto eagerly finishing off the bottle of formula.

“Let me put this little one to sleep, and then I think the three of us have some important planning to do. My dear teammate, where would be the best spot to place Naruto so that he’s not disturbed?” 

“Ah, right. Let me put something together.” Genma gets up, chewing his senbon thoughtfully and regarding the cluttered room. He looks skeptically at his worn furniture, silently assessing the sturdiness of his desks and chairs, and then nods. Immediately he gets to work, dragging the two spare chairs from the corner of the room towards the desk on either side. He breaks a bottom blinder off of each of his small windows, and uses spare scotch tape and twine from his desk drawers to bracket the other two now-exposed sides of the desk. Genma then opens his closet and rummages around the sparse insides, making a soft sound of satisfaction when he finds an extra set of sheets, which he then drapes around the chairs and blinders so that the cloth lines the desk. He fastens the loose ends of the cloth down to the chairs, desk, and floor with tape, and then throws one of his pillows into the contraption. Genma steps aside, smiling broadly, and gestures to the mess of wood next to him. “Ta-da! Isn’t it great!” 

Kakashi cocks his head lazily to the side. “Genma, what the fuck is this?” 

“It’s a makeshift crib, dipshit,” Genma huffs. He carefully takes Naruto from Gai’s arms and places him on the mess of blankets and pillows. “Now he’ll be warm and safe, and we didn’t even have to go bother my mother. Trust _you_ not to understand my genius, god damn.” 

Gai, on the other hand, is ecstatic. “My dear teammate, this is splendid! You have proven what a formidable and innovative shinobi you are! Naruto will surely sleep well here!” He whispers with enthusiasm, carefully regulating his volume so that Naruto remains asleep. 

Gai rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah, well, if there was any time for weird bouts of creativity, this is it.” He shakes himself out of his awkwardness, and then looks at Kakashi. “Hey, could you seal Naruto in here?” 

Kakashi’s one visible eye widens. “What the _fuck_ , Shiranui? Do I have to kick you out of your own house?” 

“Shit, _no!_ Not like that, that’s not how I meant it at all! I meant can you reinforce the crib so that Naruto can’t accidentally destroy it if he rolls over and so he can’t just climb out while we’re not looking or something?” 

“Oh,” Kakashi lets out a breath, relieved. He didn’t think his sharingan could handle another awakening in this time frame. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” He fishes out spare tags from his pouch and draws a few weak seals, and then plasters them onto the four sides of the makeshift crib. He nods decisively, looking over his work. “Yeah, this should do it.” 

Genma slaps his thighs with an air of finality and then looks between Kakashi and Gai. “Right then. Let’s discuss the battle plan, shall we?” 

And so, the three teenagers find themselves in a bastardized iteration of where they started the morning. Kakashi and Gai are squished next to each other, sitting at the head of the bed with their legs extended, while Genma sits with his legs crossed at the foot of the bed. Kakashi feels acutely aware of every part of his shoulder and forearm that are making contact with Gai, and for once, not in a highly suffocating way. Actually, he quite likes the feeling of Gai’s arm next to his, the silicon of Gai’s jumpsuit and mesh of Kakashi’s undershirt spreading warmth throughout Kakashi’s upper body. And before he can stop it, Kakashi catches himself debating whether or not he can fake a stretch and push their knees together. Then he realizes Genma would definitely notice, which means Genma would definitely make fun of Kakashi for it. But Kakashi doesn’t even know– _want to know_ , he mentally amends– what exactly Genma would be making fun of him for, so he decides to be thankful with what little physical contact he gets, and focus instead on the extremely important task purpose of the meeting. He pointedly does not meet Genma’s eyes, which have already found his own and are silently laughing. Instead, Kakashi clenches his uncovered jaw and wills Genma to shut the hell up for just _one_ second. 

Luckily, Genma does. _Thank fuck_ . Instead, he says, “Right. So let’s review the story from the top, because a lot has happened between when you disrupted my precious few hours of sleep and now. If I miss anything, you stop and tell me, okay?” Kakashi and Gai nod in unison. “Okay. So this morning, Gai gets up to meet Kakashi at the training grounds at 4:30am. On the way there, he passes the street with the orphanage, and finds Naruto lying on the side of the road in a blanket, and he’s crying. Gai shits bricks, and brings Naruto to Kakashi, who also shits bricks, and then both of you came here, right?” Gai and Kakashi both nod again. “Right. Okay. Now that we’ve got that straight, let’s address the obvious question. Who the hell thought it would be okay to leave a month-old baby on the side of the road, and _why_ did they do it?” 

Kakashi laughs. “He’s the jinchuuriki. There’s literally no other explanation.” 

“But even if Naruto is the jinchuuriki, my eternal rival, Naruto is still a baby first. Plus, he bears a striking resemblance to the Yondaime Hokage, even now. I must admit, I am struggling to imagine why someone would do this, as well,” Gai muses. 

“Well, barely anybody knew Sensei was going to have a child in the first place. So even if Naruto does look exactly like him, I don’t think people are going to immediately make the connection.” 

“Okay, that’s fair Kakashi, but that doesn’t change the fact that the head of the orphanage just threw out a month old baby to starve and _die_ , even if they’re the jinchuuriki. How could someone be so cruel– especially someone whose entire job is to nurture and raise children?” 

“... I don’t have a straight answer for that, Shiranui.” Kakashi runs his hands through his hair, and takes a breath. “My best guess would be that someone saw the seal and freaked out. The Kyuubi attack was only a month ago, and parts of the village are still being rebuilt. Because the orphanage is run by civilians, they probably don’t know the significance of the jinchuuriki themselves, and were acting more out of hurt and impulse than anything else. That’s all I can really say. Were they asked to do it? Who exactly did it? Was Naruto behaving badly? When exactly did they do it? Your guess is as good as mine with those.” 

Silence settles over the group as the three shinobi grapple with just how badly Naruto was treated. _What went on for the past month? What else don’t we know? Why couldn’t we have just found out?_ Kakashi looks to the ceiling for the umpteenth time since he arrived, bordering on feeling powerless. _Fuck, Sensei,_ he thinks, _if you were gonna die, did you really have to leave us with this shitstorm to deal with, too?_

And with his uncanny ability to always sense when Kakashi’s mind begins to wander, Gai brings Kakashi down to earth and says, “My eternal rival, there’s no use trying to figure out the exact circumstances of Naruto’s treatment for the past month. All we can do is try to figure out the root of the problem, and how to best solve it. If we keep fixating over details, we’re only going to harm Naruto more.”

Kakashi blinks slowly, and feels the same steely calm he feels in battle settling over him. “Alright then,” he says, “let’s figure out what the hell is going on here.” 

They talk for what feels like hours, until their legs cramp and the sun has claimed its spot in the sky above them. And yet, for all of their bickering, bouts of anger, and close calls with the sharingan, they have made definitive progress in their determination of Naruto’s neglect in the month following his birth. First, the mandate put forth by the Sandaime that banned all discussion of the Kyuubi attack, and by extension, Naruto as the jinchuuriki, also banned any _positive_ discussion of the jinchuuriki as a host and weapon of Konoha. The Hokage can’t possibly hope to control every conversation made by every shinobi and civilian in the entire village, and so the mandate ensured that the discussion of the Kyuubi and the jinchuuriki was limited to frantic whispers and gossip, almost all untrue, and certainly all vilifying an infant. Second, Jiraiya’s pointed absence, and the Sandaime’s order that Kakashi, Gai, and Genma remain uninvolved in Naruto’s life further ensured Naruto’s isolation from the orphanage, as well as the civilians misinformation about Naruto and his role as the jinchuuriki. The fact that no shinobi had come to see Naruto in the month after he was dropped off further exacerbated rumors about Naruto’s status, and only supported the notion that Naruto is a curse to be rid of, certainly not anybody worth protecting. Third, These rules put forth by the Sandaime are diametrically opposed to the image he cultivated as the Hokage– a nurturing, intellectually curious man, known as the Professor throughout the village. Halting any productive discussion about Naruto was a highly uncharacteristic decision to make, and when Kakashi, Gai, and Genma consider this along with the Sandaime’s behavior when telling the three of them to stay out of Naruto’s life, the only explanation remained is that the Sandaime’s hand was forced into these mandates. Which then begs the question, _who is forcing the Sandaime’s hand, and why?_

It took no discussion to determine who was pulling the strings behind the scenes.

“Danzo,” Genma breathed. “There’s no way it’s anybody except Danzo.” 

“That’s what I was thinking too. It almost fits _too_ well.” 

“I understand the man is strange, but why exactly does he fit this role? Pardon my ignorance, I just want to make sure that we’re not accusing the wrong person, despite my dislike of Danzo-sama,” Gai said. 

Kakashi looks over. “At the meeting he called a month ago, Danzo suggested that the Sandaime be reinstated as the Hokage.”

At this, Gai’s brows shoot up. “He suggested the _Sandaime_ be Hokage? What happened to himself?” 

Kakashi nods, a small grin on his face. “That’s what we thought too, at the meeting. Shikaku asked him about it, and Danzo said he had ‘other duties’”– Kakashi makes air quotes– “to attend to.” 

“And everybody and their mother knows Danzo and the Sandaime had some weird dynamic going on beforehand– and we still have no idea what happened to ROOT,” Genma pipes up. “At this point, there’s nobody else it could be. The vast majority of clan leaders right now were Minato-sensei’s friends, anyway, and I know they wouldn’t do anything to hurt Naruto.” 

Gai nods, then. “Yosh. That makes sense. Danzo is now our primary suspect. But then, what do we do now?” 

Genma takes the senbon out of his mouth and points at Gai with it. “Well, we know who’s forcing the hand, so now we just need to find out _why_.” 

“Right. So what do we do now?” 

Kakashi looks outside and smiles wryly, his wry expression uncharacteristically exposed. “Well, ladies, I’m so glad you asked. First, the three of us have breakfast. Then, we’re raiding the library.” 

* * *

“Hey, did you find anything in the Senju archives?” Genma asks. “We’ve only gone through the Uzumaki so far, and we didn’t learn anything that we didn’t basically already know through Kakashi.” 

“Mmm, yeah, I think we picked up some records, but there were just about as many as there were for the Uzumaki, so I doubt we’ll be able to figure anything out,” Kakashi absentmindedly responds. Gai makes a general noise of agreement, and the sounds of pages turning and scrolls rolling fill the room again. 

Between where Kakashi sits on the bed, Gai at the desk, and Genma on the floor (“It’s only right, I’m the host!” Genma had insisted), piles of books and scrolls are strewn between them, forming a miniature library on shinobi history and chakra theory. Earlier, the three had gone down to the library and borrowed as many as they could each without being suspicious, and then stole the rest. Now, they had to use a combination of wall walking and a truly impressive level of dexterity to walk across the room without ruining the whole setup. At some point, Gai jumps out of the window with no explanation and leaves Kakashi and Genma to call after him, and returns soon later with rods, hooks, and a large tarp in tow. Together, the three of them manage to fasten the rods to two parts of Naruto’s makeshift crib and use whatever supplies they have on hand to hang the tarp from them. 

“Yosh! Now we have a place to keep track of every important thing we find so we don’t have to mark up or tear out pages from the library books!”

Genma looks over, affronted. “You were considering _tearing out pages_ from the library books? Who the fuck raised you?” 

Kakashi shrugs, completely unfazed. “Me.” 

Nevertheless, the tarp comes in very handy as the sun goes down and back up again, Genma and Gai taking shifts to leave the room and change the baby. 

Surprisingly, the three of them approached changing, feeding, and burping Naruto with a kind of mission-driven level of focus one could only expect from three emotionally constipated and severely socially stunted genius teenagers. In the corner of the tarp, they drew a system: Kakashi was to be in charge of making the formula at the first babbles of discomfort from Naruto, characterized by increased restlessness and more violently swinging fists. Then, either Gai or Genma would feed Naruto the formula and then make him burp. Kakashi was also in charge of making sure the towels Gai and Genma wore on their shoulders to protect potential vomit were also clean. Whoever didn’t feed and burp Naruto was in charge of changing duty, which was to be done on the roof so the smell doesn’t spread, as quickly as efficiently as possible, and then throw the dirty diaper directly into the garbage disposal on the side of the house. Neither Gai nor Genma made a fuss about changing Naruto’s diapers, because Minato-sensei wouldn’t have either, and this is their duty to him and his son. 

Severely overwhelming the rest of the tarp by the third day of being shut in in Genma’s room with breaks only for the food and the bathroom are scribbled notes about Senju Hashirama's diplomatic strategy concerning the nine Tailed Beasts, excerpts from the legend of the Sage of Six Paths, with “Sharingan?” circled repeatedly, notes on Uzumaki chakra reserves, information on fuinjutsu, along with the numerous appearances of “examine later????” “need more info”, and “3rd lied about this”. 

Eventually, Kakashi lets his head fall back against the bedroom wall and groans, having finally finished the last scroll he was supposed to read. Gai turns from where he’s writing “jinchuuriki special powers?” on the tarp, and Genma lazily opens his eyes from where he’s dozing off on the floor. Rubbings his hands up and down his face in fatigue, Kakashi looks over. “Okay, team, what have we got?” 

“My eternal rival, we now have an abundance of information on all nine Tailed Beasts, as well as the power the Kyuubi in particular has. We can draw from the minimal information we have about the Uzumaki and what we know firsthand about Kushina-senpai to conclude that Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai’s precious child naturally has incredibly large chakra reserves, even without the Kyuubi’s influence. We also know now historically that the Shodaime Hokage used the Tailed Beasts as bargaining chips with other villages so that the jinchuuriki’s powers would be evenly distributed in order to create a balanced shinobi nation between Konoha, Iwa, Kiri, Kumo, and Suna. As of right now, I think that’s it.” 

Genma rolls over so he lies on his stomach, and looks up at Kakashi from his spot on the floor. “So that basically means we know why the Hokage aka Danzo would hypothetically want power over Naruto. But how does that explain him forcing the Sandaime to pass all of these laws that exacerbate the already existing prejudice and hatred towards Naruto? If you wanted to control Naruto for his chakra, wouldn’t you want him healthy? If you wanted Naruto to become a weapon of Konoha, wouldn’t you want him to grow up loving the village? It doesn’t make any sense!” 

Gai and Kakashi let the thought sink in for a few seconds, nonplussed. 

“ _Fuck_ , yeah, you’re right. It doesn’t make sense.” Kakashi ruffles his hair. “But there’s no other reason Sarutobi would make those rules, and there’s no one else who could’ve planted that bullshit in his head in the first place except Danzo. We have to be missing something huge here.” 

“We’ve looked through all of Konoha’s archives, though, my rival. And Konoha has the largest archive out of the five shinobi nations. Where else could we possibly find information?” 

Kakashi runs his hand over his left arm, where his ANBU tattoo feels like it’s burning a hole. “I’m not saying we keep looking through the archives,” he says carefully, not wanting to risk anybody else hearing his suggestion. “But I’m not saying we stop looking.” 

Genma and Gai’s eyes widen. “Are you saying that we–” Genma starts. 

“–I’m not saying _we_ anything. I’m saying _I_ alone should keep looking and see what I can find, because I’m the only one that could even get access to where we need to look. I need _you guys_ to figure out how the hell to contact Jiraiya.” 

Gai and Genma look at each other incredulously. “Why would we need Jiraiya?”

Kakashi sighs deeply, and lets his shoulders sag. “Because as much as I hate that family-abandoning, porn-writing, privacy-invading toad fucker, we need a new Hokage. And he’s the best we’ve got.” 

Genma groans around where his senbon is lodged in his mouth. “God dammit, man, but alright. Okay. I’ll see if I can summon Fukasaku. Do you know what you need to do?” 

Fumbling with the fabric of his mask hanging loose around his neck, Kakashi grimaces. “Yeah. You know I do.” He hums thoughtfully under his breath, and then looks back up. “We need to come up with a contingency plan if something goes wrong and I die.”

There’s a clatter somewhere in the room as Genma scrambles to stand. “If you _die_ ? What the _fuck_ , Hatake!” 

“I’m not saying I _want_ to die, you idiot!” Kakashi snaps back. “But we all know what I’m about to do is… not safe. At all. I’m just the only one of us who has a chance of getting out and surviving. Who knows what Dan– what _he_ ’s using to protect his files. We also need to figure out what to do if we can’t get Fukasaku, or if Jiraiya is even more of an asshole than any of us realize, and refuses to come back.” 

“Alright. Okay. Assuming we each go our separate ways as soon as this conversation is over, let’s give us twenty-four hours to regroup. If Kakashi or Fukasaku isn’t in this room with us by this time tomorrow,” he looks over at Gai, “We’ll wait an extra three hours, and then go and look for you. How does that sound?” 

Kakashi shakes his head. “But that doesn’t account for if there are more files than I can read in a day, or if things are harder to find. I can’t just leave and then come back if I’m in the middle of reading. We need a signal of some sort.” 

“How are we supposed to communicate then? We can’t use hand signs because we’ll be apart from each other, and we can’t do anything verbally because we’ll be easily detected that way.” 

“I’ll leave a member of my pack with you. If anything goes wrong, I’ll have Pakkun relay a message to them if anything goes wrong. He can shunshin to any member in the pack if need be, and because he’s a ninken, his chakra won’t be detected. That sound good?” 

Gai and Genma look at each other before both nodding. “Alright,” Genma said decisively. “Twenty four hours from now.” He reaches out to clasp Kakashi’s shoulder. “We’ll see you then.”

“Right. Bisuke!” He calls, and a small, light brown puppy with glasses immediately appears. Kakashi jerks his chin to Genma and Gai. “I’m leaving you with them. I need to head out to take care of something quickly, and if something goes wrong, Pakkun will relay the message. I just need you here as an anchor. You can just sleep or something, if you want, but don’t get in their way. Okay?”

“Sounds good, boss! Stay safe!” Bisuke yaps, immediately finding a corner of Genma’s bed that feels comfy and lying down. “Don’t take too long!” 

Kakashi huffs out what could have been a laugh, pulling up his mask, and starts to climb out the window. 

“Kakashi–” He turns back to look at him from his spot on the windowsill, pausing at the use of his name. Gai looks him directly in the eyes, gaze burning. “Make sure you come back.”

Kakashi holds his gaze for a moment longer, and tries to figure out what he could say that would put Gai and Genma at ease. “I’ll see you ladies in a while,” he eventually settled on, and gave them both a lazy salute before smoothly jumping out the window. 

Gai stood straight, staring at where Kakashi left through the window, and took a deep breath.

“Gai,” Genma reached out to touch his shoulder. “He’ll be fine. He always is.” 

“I’m not worried about him getting out alive, my dear teammate. I just have no idea what my eternal rival will find. He has been through more than the rest of us, combined… I don’t want him finding anything out that would hurt him, or drive him to act irrationally. If my eternal rival were to act rashly and prevent himself from helping Minato-sensei’s precious child, I know he would never forgive himself.” 

Genma considers Gai’s words. “You care about Kakashi a lot, huh?” 

Gai turns, laughing. “My dear teammate, of course I care about him! He is a valued shinobi of Konoha, and he is my friend, just as you are!” 

Genma raises his eyebrows. “Gai, you know that’s not what I meant.”

Gai laughs again. “What did you mean, then?” Genma’s expression doesn’t change. Gai keeps up the act for a few more seconds, and then deflates, looking away. 

“I know. I know,” he repeats, sighing, uncharacteristically uncertain. “What do you expect me to do? There’s no way… Even if he did feel the same, there are too many realistic obstacles. He has so much to deal with, and now Naruto….” He trails off, and lets his words sink in for a few seconds. “It just wouldn’t work. This is all I can do, as his friend, rival, and fellow shinobi.” 

Genma deflates a little. Gai is right, he knows, but something about seeing his teammate so subdued bothers him. “Okay, well, let’s get started on calling Fukasaku. We can’t just sit here talking about our feelings while that bastard is risking his life, now can we?” 

Just as Genma predicted, Gai immediately perks up with the change of subject. “Yosh! Let us summon Jiraiya-sama’s toads! We need to get him updated! My dear teammate, do you have a spare scroll to use?” 

“Ah! Um… yeah, I think I do, let me just–” Genma rummages through his cabinets and desk drawers, pushing aside the piles of scrolls and books he, Gai, and Kakashi had inhaled over the past three days. “Oh! Here it is!” He waves the large scroll at Gai victoriously. “Let’s get started, shall we?” 

Genma rolls the scroll onto the floor, and pulls out a brush and a small bottle of ink from his pouch, fluidly tracing the characters for a summons. He stops only to quickly remember the exact way Fukasaku’s name is written, bites his hand, and then slams it down to the seal at the center of the scroll.

Immediately, a small puff of smoke appears, and in its stead, a small toad with almost criminally bushy brows. “Hello, Shiranui. Maito,” he says, nodding his head to both teenagers. “What do you want with my boy?” 

Gai, earnest and direct as ever, answers promptly. “Fukasaku-sama, we need Jiraiya here as soon as we can possibly get him. We need to discuss the events of the last month regarding Naruto.” 

“That’s it? You couldn’t have sent a messenger hawk?”

“Look, sir,” Genma cuts in. He takes the senbon out of his mouth. “We need to ask Jiraiya if he’d be willing to become the next Hokage.” 

* * *

Meanwhile, Kakashi sprints across the village, towards the Hokage tower. He makes a point to climb up the long spiral staircase instead of climbing through the window as he may have usually done, so traces of his chakra linger in case something goes wrong and his pack needs to find him. Masking his heart’s fluctuations and chakra levels, he saunters towards the ANBU archives and casually bypasses the guards there. Even though he is the Commanding Officer, he’s never bothered to learn any of his subordinate’s names and faces outside the field, so when he passes Ox and Salamander, he doesn’t offer pleasantries or even a second glance. 

Pretending to busy himself with mission scrolls along the wall, Kakashi quietly takes stock of the room around him. Only one or two other ANBU members are present, neither of which have offered Kakashi a suitable reason to remember them, meaning they will be easy to get past. He casually walks to a shelf that offers more cover across the room, pretending to be immersed in the scroll he had picked up earlier. As soon as he isn’t exposed, he whispers: “Pakkun!” 

Immediately in a puff of smoke, the leader of Kakashi’s pack appeared. “Hi, boss,” he drolls. “What’s up?” 

“I need you to find the entrance to Danzo’s office. I’m almost positive it’s connected to this room in some way because of ROOT, but I need you to confirm it for me. Do you remember his chakra signature?” 

For a pug, even a talking one, Pakkun could be surprisingly expressive. He levels a look at Kakashi. “Boss, what do you take me for? This room is small. Give me five minutes.” 

Kakashi’s visible eye crinkles. “I’ll give you and the pack extra treats after this. Thanks.” Pakkun offers him a quick nod, and then gets straight to sniffing out the edges of the room. In the meantime, Kakashi actually does spend time reading the scroll he had randomly picked up, haphazardly trying to feign like he was actually perusing the library. 

Sooner than expected, Pakkun appears in front of him. “Already? Well _done_ , Pakkun.”

Preening from the praise, Pakkun says, “there’s a seal on the 47th page of the book fourth from the far left in the shelf towards the back, the one with all the Kiri bingo books. You have to release it.” 

Kakashi nods. “Thanks, Pakkun. Listen, while I’m in there, I need you to stand guard and give me a warning if anyone comes in. And if something goes wrong, go to Bisuke. He’s with Genma and Gai, and they need to know if I’m not coming back.”

Pakkun grimaces. “Alright boss, whatever you say.”

Kakashi leans down and pats Pakkun’s head. “Well,” he says, “let’s be quick about it, then.” 

Surprisingly, opening the passageway to Danzo’s office and workstation was a lot simpler than he thought it would be. _How has nobody come down here already if it was so easy to get here?_ Kakashi wonders. _Well, to be fair, I don’t think people would’ve had a reason to, before now. And I guess most people aren’t in ANBU_. 

Matching his chakra to the natural energy of the living entities around him, Kakashi masks his chakra so that Danzo and the ROOT shinobi he’s positive are guarding the entrance are unable to detect him. He prowls down the dimly lit passageway, keeping his ears attuned to any noises around him, until he sees Danzo’s mercifully empty office. 

Well, mercifully empty apart from the two ROOT shinobi who have yet to sense him. Groaning inwardly, Kakashi weighs his options. He can either try his luck at chakra masking to see if he can just avoid their peripheral and sneak past them, or he can just put the chidori through both of them and move on. In the short term, the chidori definitely seems like the better idea, especially because he can just kill them both at the same time. But if Danzo comes in and sees the two dead bodies of his guards, Kakashi will risk a higher chance of getting caught, and he doesn’t want to deal with possible treason charges, or extra blood on his hands. _Although_ he supposes, _it might be better to have his blood in case the really important things are sealed_. 

He looks down at Pakkun, who shrugs. _Great. Thanks for the opinion_ , he glares. _Well, I’m a bit tired of killing, so I guess I’ll use it as a last resort._ “Stay here,” he mouths to Pakkun, and moves cautiously around the ROOT guard standing to Kakashi’s right.

 _What the fuck?_ Kakashi thinks. _I thought ROOT was supposed to be ANBU-level? Danzo’s gonna be screwed_. He chuckles a bit to himself, stopping only when he looks behind him to see Pakkun leveling him with an unimpressed glare. _Right. No time to make fun of ROOT. Obito would make fun of them with me though. Ugh._

Kakashi silently thanks Danzo for keeping his door hinges well-oiled as he soundlessly opens the door, shutting it behind him. “Alright,” he says, uncovering his sharingan and feeling it pulse to life. Under his mask, he smirks, sharp and vicious. “Let’s see what the damage is.” 

* * *

He has no idea how much time has passed. Kakashi feels nauseous, like his head is going to burst, but he can’t tell if it’s from how long he’d been using the sharingan to memorize every single word Danzo had written down, or from reading what Danzo kept inside his office. 

It had taken a few minutes, but eventually, Kakashi had found Danzo’s files on the Kyuubi attack, nestled in between other unimportant files in the cabinets to the right of his desk. After pages upon pages of notes about the Kyuubi, history of Konoha, and the value of a Tailed Beast’s chakra that Kakashi had inhaled in the last seventy-two hours, Kakashi found something new. At first, he couldn’t tell what it was; the illustration took up almost the entire page, and the vast majority of it was in dark ink, but once he made sense of the harsh vertical lines and the fuinjutsu notes that accompanied it, Kakashi saw red. 

_Seal the Kyuubi_ . _Control the Kyuubi. Harness the Kyuubi._ The words seemed to jump out of the page tauntingly at Kakashi as he read them. While his hands shook, Kakashi had kept reading, forcing himself to push forward, only to become even more nauseated. 

_The Kyuubi thrives off of the negativity and corruption in this world. Its container must have a sufficient amount of negative energy to most effectively harness the Kyuubi’s power. The more rage and hatred the container shoulders, the more reinforced the Kyuubi’s chakra reserves come. Best use of this tool will be to take advantage of isolation and bad treatment by village and seal away._

Kakashi couldn’t believe his eyes. He pored over more and more texts from Danzo, further detailing the plans for the Kyuubi’s chamber, the exact age the jinchuuriki would be mature enough to understand his neglect, the training he would undergo along with ROOT, and the hatred Danzo would breed against the village, against the shinobi world, against _himself_. 

_Orochimaru research will aid in controlling the Kyuubi. Once the transplants are completed, I will be the sole master of the weapon. For ears only._ Kakashi reread the small phrase tucked into other reports several times, trying to figure out what he meant. No doubt about it, Danzo is a traitor to Konoha for this, but this simple note wouldn’t be admissible in court. And that didn’t matter now. 

_The Kyuubi. The container. The jinchuuriki. The weapon_. Never, ever, was Naruto referred to by name, never referred to as Sensei’s son, never the revered legacy of the beloved Yondaime Hokage, never the last remaining member of the Uzumaki clan in Konoha. A _tool_. Danzo didn’t give a fuck about the fact that Naruto was a newborn, orphaned baby, as long as he could get some use out of him. 

And now, Kakashi stands, gripping the last of Danzo’s files and trying to put them away. _Traitor. Traitor. Traitor._ Kakashi feels the paper he’s holding wrinkle as he lets his chakra escape in blind fury. _This man is a traitor. He’s trash. He’s the worst possible shinobi you could be_. _I want to kill him. This man deserves to die the most dishonorable death possible_. Kakashi feels his eye start to bleed, his head pounding from using the sharingan for so long without a break. 

And suddenly, Kakashi hears Pakkun start to bark. _Shit. Shit. What do I do?_ Kakashi hurries to cover his sharingan as Pakkun appears next to him, saying, “Ready to go, boss?” 

Kakashi shoves past his exhaustion and nods. “Always ready, pup. Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Kakashi holds his breath as Pakkun touches his leg and suddenly feels like his guts are being squeezed together– a common side effect of reverse summons. 

When he feels his feet again they are fumbling below him as he drops unceremoniously onto Genma’s bed, yelping on impact. Bisuke yaps frantically and jumps off to make sure he doesn’t get squashed, and Kakashi immediately keels forward over the side of the bed and takes deep breaths, trying to make sure he doesn’t throw up now that he has the chance. After a few seconds, he finally manages to find words. “Thanks, Pakkun, Bisuke,” he says. He reaches into his pouch and tosses them each a snack, which they catch smoothly. “Get some rest, you’re done for now.” 

“Hatake Kakashi, giving out dog treats,” someone intones deeply. “Never thought I’d see it.”

 _What the fuck?_ Kakashi slowly moves his head up from where he had placed it in his hands to try and quell the sharp throbbing that had yet to cease. “Who– ah. Alright. Let’s get this over with, then. But first, Genma, please can I have some water?” Genma nods and moves swiftly from where he stood, and hands Kakashi a bottle a couple seconds later. Kakashi takes it gratefully and turns to face the wall so he can remove his mask and chug the bottle. Hurriedly, he moves to replace it, and then turns around to face Gai, Genma, Fukasaku, and Jiraiya, who are all looking at him expectedly. “You’ll want to be sitting down for this.” 

Genma and Gai look back at him, eyes wide. “You mean you found–” Gai starts. 

“–look, can you just cut to the chase, Kakashi? I’ll tell you right now, I’m not going to be Hokage, it doesn’t make sense for me, and–” 

“Listen here, you toad bastard–” Kakashi snaps, completely ignoring Fukasaku’s affronted face as Gai tries to apologize for his behavior. “I have been up for damn near twenty-four hours straight going through a traitor’s files that involve _your godson_. If you actually give a singular fuck about Naruto’s wellbeing, as you say you do, you will shut up and listen to what I am about to say. Sit down, don’t sit down, I don’t care. But just stay quiet. I don’t have time to deal with your nonsense otherwise. Am I clear?” 

Jiraiya grumbles something that sounds like a complaint about respect, but Kakashi moves on anyway. “I memorized the contents of every single file I saw in Danzo’s office. For my own sake, I wish I hadn’t. But here is what I know.” Kakashi moved to turn the tarp inside out so that it formed a blank slate, and swiftly wrote out a summary of all the documents, providing rudimentary illustrations when he felt they were necessary. The longer he wrote, the wider everyone’s eyes became, until Kakashi wrote the conclusion he had reached earlier at the very bottom and circled it. 

Kakashi turned back around to face Gai, Genma, Fukasaku, and Jiraiya, who all looked very, very disturbed. “Jiraiya,” he met his eyes. “You and I both know this can’t go on anymore. The only reason Danzo had this opportunity is because he had a puppet as the Hokage. Apart from assassinating Danzo and risking all of us being exiled from Konoha, the only thing we can do is appeal to Sarutobi by himself and provide a suitable replacement for a Hokage. There’s no way we can guarantee Naruto’s safety otherwise. Even if Danzo stays on the Hokage advising council, any replacement will be less likely to blindly agree to everything Danzo and his two cronies suggest. They’ll be able to check Danzo’s power more effectively. If you actually give a damn about Naruto, you’ll step up for this.”

Kakashi’s statement echoes in the cramped room, and Jiraiya sighs, resigned. “Kid… I can’t be Hokage. I’m not built for it, and my primary loyalty isn’t even to Konoha. It’s to Mount Myoboku. It’s nothing that has to do with Naruto or Minato, but I just can’t.”

Kakashi feels bile rise in his throat. “You’re abandoning your own kin,” he sneers. “I’m disgusted with you. You’re worse than trash. Get the fuck out of this house before I kill you myself, you lazy, perverted piece of–” 

“You didn’t let me finish, brat!” Jiraiya cuts him off. “Would you lay off me for two seconds? _I_ can’t become Hokage. But I know someone who I think can.” 

Kakashi isn’t convinced. “Who do you _think_ can replace you that Sarutobi could possibly accept as his successor?” 

Jiraiya’s answering grin is wolfish, and when he replies, it slowly spreads Kakashi, Genma, and Gai’s faces, too. “Well, we’ll have to find out where she’s gambling right now first.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! thank you so much for all the love on the first chapter. this one was really fun to write, too!! let me know if there's anything else you're interested in seeing! if you guys are active in the naruto fandom, you'll see i slipped some references to some of my favorite naruto fics, namely in good company/ragnarokr, and flip the coin! i'm pulling a lot of inspiration from some of my favorite works in the fandom and weaving them with canon to create my own original story, and doing this is a lot of fun! please leave some kudos and comments if you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! thanks so much for all your love and encouragement on the last update. sorry this update is a bit late, finals season is starting and i work a lot of jobs so i can barely find time to update! but i'm glad i have this chapter up. let me know your thoughts so far!
> 
> [EDIT: cover art for this fic can be found HERE!: https://twitter.com/levhoia_/status/1335112002159734785?s=21
> 
> you can follow my twit @levhoia_ for updates!]

From where they stand at the entrance to the Hokage’s office, Sarutobi Hiruzen looks _old_ . Minato-sensei hadn’t even been Hokage for two years, and in that time, it seemed like Sarutobi’s body finally took the hint that he was aging, and made up for all the lost time by decaying exponentially quicker than anyone Kakashi had ever seen in his life. When Kakashi was still on Team 7, and would climb in through the window and wait for Sensei, Rin, and Obito to walk through the doors for their next mission assignment, the Sandaime had looked older than the average shinobi but no less formidable, but certainly wiser. The Sanadime looked every bit of the title he had earned, _The Professor_ : a quietly authoritative figure you did not want to battle intellectually or physically, someone you were scared out of your mind to disappoint. Now, it looks like the robes wear the Sandaime instead of the other way around, his hat casting a deep, long shadow across his face. Against the afternoon sun, the Sandaime’s face looks sunken, wrinkles etched even deeper into his skin, under-eye circles more prominent. Sitting alone in the center of the open, spacious room, Kakashi feels more like he’s with his pack on a hunt than approaching the Hokage for permission to leave the village– and find someone better than the Sandaime at his job. 

As he stands, waiting to enter the room, with Genma, Gai, and Jiraiya flanking him, Kakashi suddenly realizes that for Jiraiya’s seemingly unwarranted caution earlier, they _aren’t_ alone. This isn’t a four-on-one interaction, at all. It’s not even the four-on-four interaction Kakashi had been anticipating because of the usual rotation of ANBU guards the Hokage had at all times. Kakashi takes a minute to regulate his chakra levels to match three, four, five…. Seven additional hidden shinobi in the office. 

_Root_ , Kakashi sneers inwardly. _So Danzo’s got spies where nobody else can see them, huh? I guess that toad bastard does have some use in him after all._

As the four of them had stepped into the Hokage tower earlier, Jiraiya had suddenly grabbed Kakashi and Genma’s shoulders as they started to climb the stairs. 

“We can’t tell Sarutobi-sensei the truth,” Jiraiya said, looking panicked. 

“Why not? You know the old man is practically itching to hand the hat off to someone else, you remember what he was like the last time we saw him!” Genma snickered around his senbon. “I’m sure if we told him what’s going on he’d kiss the ground we walked on.”

It’s a testament to how wary Jiraiya was that he didn’t even acknowledge Genma’s comment. “I’m sensing more than the usual auras in the office. I don’t want to accidentally run into anyone and have to fight or get arrested for treason. All we can afford to tell the Hokage, and hopefully whoever else is in the room, is that we’re looking for Tsunade because he was abandoned, and we need to find someone who can take care of Naruto that doesn’t have a conflict of interest. We’ll say we’re going to leave immediately so that Danzo can’t take any immediate action, and we’re taking Naruto with us.” He looked to Gai, who was cradling Naruto in his arms. “Hopefully seeing the kid’s face will warm him up, too. Well, on we go.”

Thankful for the first time he can remember that Jiraiya had opened his mouth, Kakashi flicks his eyes over to where Gai and Genma stand. If either of them had sensed the foreign hidden shinobi in the room, nothing on their faces betrayed it. Kakashi robotically moves forward along with the other three, until they all stand in front of the Hokage’s desk. Kakashi’s initial impression of Sarutobi Hiruzen from the opposite side of the room only rings truer now, their proximity drawing attention to the slouch in the Sandiame’s shoulders, the furrow of his brows, the purse of his lips. Here is Sarutobi Hiruzen, drowned in white fabric, unknowingly surrendering himself to his predators, completely and blissfully unaware of being hunted in the first place. Kakashi smiles wolfishly under his mask. He couldn’t have asked for a better state. 

Jiraiya cuts off Kakashi’s Machiavellian train of thought as he takes half a step forward, addressing his old teacher warmly. “Sensei!” he booms jovially. “How are you? Me and the toads miss you!” To anyone else, Jiraiya would seem completely genuine– _and maybe he actually is_ , Kakashi thinks– and not at all like he is about to risk treason for the sake of a baby with frankly giant lungs. 

The Sandaime’s eyes crinkle warmly as he responds. “Jiraiya, it really has been too long. I’m doing as well as I can hope to be doing in my old position, but if this is what is best for the village, then I will fulfill my duty in honor of Minato and the position he carried as Yondaime Hokage.”

The Sandaime’s eyes flit over to glance at Kakashi almost too quickly to be noticed, but Kakashi caught it nonetheless. The infinitesimally brief look of pity that was directed at him filled Kakashi with a kind of irrational anger that he immediately felt the need to dispel. Fortunately, Hatake Kakashi has always been skilled in the arts of suppression and compartmentalization, so for now, he shuts up, and hopes that handling Tsunade-hime to the Sandaime on a silver platter will quell his frustration for now. 

“–enough about me, though, Jiraiya, why did you all come here? With Naruto in tow, no less?” He arches a brow at the baby now squirming in Gai’s gentle but unrelenting grip. “I thought I made it clear to you that individuals with conflicts of interest shouldn’t be around Naruto.” 

Kakashi feels his left eye start to throb, but luckily, Genma steps in to diplomatically cover up the probable shitstorm Kakashi would brew if he were to start talking. With a seemingly casual hand grasping Kakashi’s shoulder, Genma says, “Yeah, about that, Hokage-sama. We really didn’t want to interfere, but we actually found Naruto abandoned on the street outside the orphanage a few days ago by accident and had to take him in so he didn’t, you know,” Genma used his free hand to take his senbon out of his mouth and use it to gesture vaguely in front of him, _“die_.” He leveled his gaze to the Sandaime, who flinched. 

“We could sit here and talk all day about the amount of things that could’ve gone wrong in Naruto’s physical and emotional development by cutting out any potential family figures this early on, but we’re on a tight schedule here, so I won’t. The fact is, if we didn’t just so happen to be passing the orphanage on our way to training, Naruto would’ve been left out there for god knows how long before someone could’ve snatched him up, killed him. We have no idea when the last time he had been fed was. And if someone did kill him, or if he died, setting aside completely the fact that the Yondaime Hokage’s month-old son would have died, someone who,” Genma smirks derisively, “you just claimed to be honoring by taking up this very position in the first place, if Naruto were to die, Konoha would no longer have a jinchuuriki. You know what an unrestrained Kyuubi so soon after its attack would do to Konoha, wouldn’t you?”

The Sandaime’s eyes narrowed. “Now, I understand that you feel strongly about Minato’s son, but do you really think that concocting this story is necessary? Honestly, boys, I didn’t expect you all to go and steal the baby from the orphanage just because you felt some sort of survivor’s guilt or warrior’s duty to protect him.” He reaches for his pipe and continues to speak, trying to sound pleading, but in effect, just ending up with patronizing. “Listen, I and so many others know just how persuasive Kakashi can be when he has his mind set on something, but don’t you think this effort is all a bit unnecessary? Genma, Gai, how could you let him get in the way of my specific orders? I know he has that blind faith in Minato, but why did none of you check him?” 

Kakashi nearly reels back with how quickly his sharingan activates, and clutches at his eye over his hitai-ate, “listen here, old man,” he chokes out, not giving a damn about protocol, “you can say whatever you want about me, but don’t bring–” 

“HOKAGE-SAMA!” 

The cry cuts cleanly through Kakashi, and he turns to locate the source of the noise, along with the Sandaime, who looks bewildered. Both of them look over at Gai, who is clutching Naruto to his chest and using his outer hand to shield Naruto’s ears so that he remains undisturbed. His shoulders are heaving, and he looks so aggressively downward that Kakashi can only see the top of his bowl cut from where he stands. 

When Gai looks up, Kakashi’s breath stops halfway through his throat. All at once, Kakashi remembers exactly why he bothers to associate with Gai, why he’s okay with Gai flamboyantly calling him “eternal rival,” why he accepts Gai’s ridiculous challenges without a second glance. Gai looks up, and he is all of his father and more at only 15. Gai looks up, and Kakashi is suddenly face-to-face with the sheer force of Gai’s loyalty. 

“Hokage-sama, with all due respect, your comments just now were completely unwarranted and highly offensive to me, my dear teammate, and my eternal rival.” Gai’s hair is starting to fly around his face with the force of his chakra, his hands are starting to emit a glowing green. Panicked, Jiraiya quietly takes Naruto from him as Gai continues talking. “To suggest that we are so reckless as to forcibly remove Naruto from a place that is presumably a source of stability and _home_ for him is to suggest we have no regard for Naruto’s needs as a baby, let alone your position as Hokage. To suggest that we went through all the trouble of _stealing_ Naruto, only to bring him to you and flaunt him in front of your face is to suggest that all four of us here, including Jiraiya-sama, are stupid. To suggest that we would elect to take care of Naruto instead of a qualified, civilian orphan because we have delusions of grandeur is to suggest that we think that the three of us, _teenagers_ , two of whom grew up without a family _ourselves_ , a _different_ two of whom are severely traumatized, and _all of whom_ are front-line shinobi, are qualified enough to single-handedly raise a child is to suggest that we have no sense of self-preservation, no real concern for the well-being of Minato-sensei’s precious child, and no sense of duty for Konoha because we are more than well-aware of our need as active shinobi at this time. To suggest that we _lied to you_ about the reason we took Naruto is to undermine your trust in three of your most valuable active shinobi: one of the youngest jounin candidates, the previous guard to the Yondaime Hokage, and the _acting Commanding Officer of ANBU_. To suggest that Naruto _wasn’t_ neglected, Hokage-sama, shows a surprising level of arrogance and complacency from you I would have never expected from the Professor. It shows that you put no thought into the repercussions of the frankly _stupid_ rules you called us over a month ago to instill. But _more than all of that,_ ” Gai’s fists are shaking violently where they’re clenched by his sides. The energy in the room is restless, the curtains are billowing, and the door is rattling in its frame. Kakashi can feel cloth in his mouth from where his jaw lightly drops. Vaguely, he’s aware of Hokage pausing, shocked, pipe halfway to his mouth, and Jiraiya and Genma matching flabbergasted looks. 

“ _More than all of that,_ ” Gai says venomously, “to suggest that Genma and I are only here because Hatake Kakashi convinced us is the height of insult and dishonor. To suggest that two of your best shinobi are so weak that we let ourselves get swayed to effective treason by a _friend_ is to disrespect the people you chose to help lead this village yourself. To suggest that the only reason Genma and I are here is because of _blind loyalty_ is to suggest that your Commanding Officer of ANBU is frail enough to be swayed by his own emotions and grief, not to mention _blatantly_ and _horrifically_ honoring the mantle of the Yondaime Hokage and Minato-sensei as a shinobi and person. Do you have even the slightest idea of everything that my eternal rival has endured? What he has forced himself to ignore and push through for the sake of _your village_? What impact his relationship with Minato-sensei had on him? Hokage-sama, while I take severe issue with everything else you said, I could have stayed quiet. Now, I am well aware of my own biases towards Hatake Kakashi, but to suggest that Genma feels the same is frankly _absurd,_ and shows just how little attention you truly pay to the shinobi– to the _children and teenagers_ – that pledge their lives to protect the village and you. My eternal rival’s love and dedication to the one last person in this godforsaken village who could see Kakashi as more than a mere weapon to be used and a bingo book bargaining chip and actually like a _son_ is anything but _blind_. I’m sorry, Hokage-sama, but I can’t forgive this. Apologize to Kakashi right now, or I swear on Minato-sensei’s life I will take his precious baby from Jiraiya’s hands and flee Konoha and raise Naruto with Kakashi and Genma by myself. How dare you act so callously. _How dare you–_ ”

The door flies open as a powerful gust of wind pushes the hat cleanly off of the Sandaime’s head and into the wall behind him. The papers on the Hokage’s desk go flying, the window screens slam, and Kakashi feels suddenly lightheaded, realizing just how large Gai’s chakra reserves must be to accommodate for his ridiculous levels of daily physical conditioning. All the same, something inside Kakashi’s chest feels utterly light, and he fights the inexplicable urge to cry. Gai is never one to shirk authority, and yet, he has done it. _For me_ , Kakashi thinks. 

“GAI! _Think of the baby!_ ” Genma yells, cutting Gai off. 

Gai’s eyes frantically widen, and just like a switch was flipped, the wind abruptly stops, and Gai steps out of the cracks he had made in the floor with the force of his blind anger. He immediately runs to where Jiraiya stands far away with Naruto in his arms, fussing over the baby, apologizing to Naruto softly and returning him to his spot on Gai’s chest. Gai walks back to where he was standing before, bouncing Naruto lightly in his hold, soothing him after the disturbance. When he reaches them, he looks, surprisingly calm, at the Sandaime, who in turn looks completely shell-shocked. “Hokage-sama, while I regret that my words were delivered in a way that disturbed Naruto, I do not retract any of what I said.” Shifting Naruto so his head rests on Gai’s shoulder, he continues, “I can easily leave. Genma and Kakashi can just as easily neutralize however many ANBU guards there are in here, and my eternal rival’s ninken pack can keep us from getting tracked. If you have any interest in seeing the rest of this meeting through and finding out why we brought Minato-sensei’s precious child here, you will apologize to my eternal rival.” He blows a strand of hair out of his face. “Immediately.” 

Seconds tick by. The Sandaime slowly brings his pipe to his mouth and puffs once, twice. He looks across the four shinobi standing in front of him assessingly and looks at Jiraiya, who meets his gaze. Hiruzen raises his brows. _Interesting_. Kakashi still looks rather shell-shocked about the whole debacle, and Genma seems very put-upon, looking twice his age in his wiry, sixteen-year-old body. 

He takes a breath. “My apologies, Kakashi, for any insult.” 

Kakashi, if at all possible, looks even _more_ uncomfortable. He nods once, jerkily. “Yeah, don’t worry about it.” 

The Sandaime turns to Gai now, his withered, expectant gaze all the more clear now that his hat is off his head. “Was that sufficient?” 

Still fussing over Naruto, Gai looks up and raises his thick brows. “Hokage-sama, if you have to ask me whether your apology is sufficient, you don’t feel any remorse at all, do you?” Gai’s pitch-black eyes level the Sandaime’s brown ones. “But I suppose it’ll have to be. I don’t think Genma is too keen on becoming a missing-nin,” he smiles wryly. 

Genma thankfully takes the cue and redirects the conversation. Chewing lazily around his senbon, Genma folds his arms behind his back, widens his stance, and tilts his chin up to look at the Sandaime from down his nose. _The perfect image of protocol_ , the Sandaime thinks amusedly. _The perfect soldier_. “Right, Hokage-sama, now that we’ve got all that sorted, we were actually going to ask your permission to go find Tsunade-hime.”

At this, the Sandaime is openly shocked. He raises his brows and leans forward on his desk. “Whatever do you need Tsunade for?” 

Genma sighs. “Well, based on the rules you yourself implemented a month ago, Naruto isn’t allowed to be raised by anyone who might potentially have a conflict of interest. That not only erases us, but practically every clan parent, given how close Minato-sensei was with his jounin class. Then, on top of that, Naruto was literally thrown out like trash by the only orphanage in the village. We couldn’t just lob him with a random civilian family either, because of the stigma around the Kyuubi right now. And we _obviously_ can’t let him die. That leaves no one in the village that can take him. Tsunade is a medic, someone with maternal instinct, someone who understands chakra and the challenges Naruto will likely grow up with, and left the village before Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai became candidates for Hokage. She’s the perfect person.” Genma falls from his formal stance, lazily taking the senbon out of his mouth and deftly twirling it between his fingers. “Is that an adequate enough explanation for you? We need to leave soon, anyway. Naruto’s got to have lunch soon and we want to make sure he’s fed before we leave.”

“I’m sorry, am I hearing this right? Are you suggesting that you’re going to leave as soon as you leave this office?” 

Another long-suffering sigh. “ _No_. As I just said, we need to feed Naruto first. That’ll probably take an hour or two because he needs to be burped and changed. _Then_ we’re going to leave.” 

“Why are you taking the boy with you? Wouldn’t he just make it harder to travel?” 

Gai pipes up. “Well, who would take him while we’re going, Hokage-sama? We have no idea how long it’ll take to find her, anyway.” He passes Naruto on to Genma, rolling his shoulders to stretch them, as Genma begins to soothingly bounce Naruto in his arms to calm him back down. “Plus, actually seeing Naruto herself might make Tsunade-hime more likely to accept. No one can turn down a cute baby. Also, there’s the fact that he’s rather tragically malnourished.” 

Sarutobi Hiruzen heaves his shoulders in a hefty sigh for what must have been the thousandth time since Kakashi, Jiraiya, Genma, and Gai made their way into his office. “Tobirama-sensei, give me strength,” he mutters. He adjusts himself so he sits more regally in his chair, and puts his pipe down. “I take it you’ll be going to her whether or not I say yes, am I correct?”

Surprisingly, it’s Jiraiya who answers this time. “That’s correct, Sensei.” 

Hiruzen already feels a headache coming on from the sheer amount of time his eyebrows have spent parked halfway up his forehead in this meeting. “Well, alright then. Positions, shinobi.” 

Fluidly, all four of them slide into formal stance, save Genma, who widens his feet with everyone else but keeps his hands firmly around Naruto instead of folding them behind him. “Kakashi, jounin, Jiraiya, sannin, Genma, tokubetsu jounin, Gai, chuunin, I hereby assign you to the A-rank mission of locating Senju Tsunade and returning her to Konoha for the purpose of Uzumaki Naruto’s care. You are dismissed.” 

Betraying no emotion, the four shinobi nodded in unison and then shot out the window right next to the Hokage’s desk, Naruto in tow. 

Leaning back in his chair again, Hiruzen massaged his temple as he brought his pipe back to his mouth. “Wait till Koharu hears about this one. Those boys…” 

* * *

Back at Genma’s, Kakashi, Gai, and Jiraiya were frantically trying to feed Naruto and pack for a mission of indefinite length all at the same time. After a near half-hour of bickering, chaos, and bumping into each other, Genma stands like a troop commander in front of Kakashi, Gai, and Jiraiya, who are listening with varying degrees of respect. 

“Alright, men–”

Jiraiya snorts. “Men? Are we going to battle?” 

A wry smile. “We may as well be. Last I checked, Tsuande-hime wasn’t too pleased with you, was she, toady?” 

Jiraiya grimaces and, perhaps aptly, doesn’t dignify Genma’s jab with a response. Genma plows on, “ _Men_ , we have about a thousand things to do and about zero time to do it. Based on the fiasco we just endured, and the fact that my parents still don’t know and _cannot ever find out_ that I’ve been housing a baby who happens to be the Kyuubi’s jinchuuriki and the Yondaime’s son, two socially inept shinobi I’m almost ashamed to call my friends, and a lousy old pervert in my room for the last few days, we have to create a system to clean this shithole out and prepare for our upcoming mission.” Genma nimbly crosses the crowded floor to the crib/whiteboard combination and adjusts the tarp so that an unused patch is most visible. “Here’s everything we need to get done in the next hour or two. One, return all the books and scrolls to the library. Two, seal Naruto’s crib. Three, feed and change Naruto. Four, get all of us packed. We can figure out our plan of action from toadie once we’re already on the road. Have I missed anything?” 

“I think you got us covered,” Kakashi says. “Who’s doing what?” 

“Hatake, you’re getting us packed. Go home and grab as much as you can, water your plant, and make sure you pack enough for all three of us. Toadie, I assume you’ve got your shit sorted?” Jiraiya nods. “Great. Gai, you’re in charge of getting all the books back to the library. Think of it as some kind of physical conditioning.”

Gai’s eyes light up. “Yosh! If I don’t manage to carry all the books and scrolls back within three trips, I will do an extra one hundred laps around the village!” 

“Toadie, you’re in charge of sealing the crib, and the formula and food for Naruto I’ll bring up in a second. And I’ll feed and change Naruto. Now, disperse!” 

And just like that, Kakashi and Gai zoom out the window, one holding an inordinate amount of books, while Jiraiya unfurls a large sealing scroll and frantically muttering as he tried to remember fuinjutsu, and Genma stands on the roof, cradling Naruto in his arms. 

Looking down at the bright hair and ruddy cheeks that have already started to look healthier, Genma allows himself to smile. _Minato-sensei, Kushina-senpai_ , _you better be helping us out from up there. There’s no way this won’t end well otherwise. You gotta do it for both your kids– Naruto_ and _Kakashi. If this mission ends up failing and we have to raise Naruto ourselves, Kakashi’s going to be beside himself freaking out. You gotta help us, Minato-sensei._

Jolted out of his thoughts, Naruto starts to make abortive, whiny noises now that the bottle has completely drained. _Great. Onto the next part,_ Genma thinks. _I’m turning into a god damn mother._ He chews on his senbon as he adjusts Naruto so he can burp the baby, and suddenly feels about ten years older than he already is. Looking down through his bedroom window, Kakashi and Gai have already returned, the room spotless apart from the three neat, identical packs, _and are those bentos? Did Hatake Kakashi make us_ bentos _? I have to be going insane._

Genma looks heavenward as he lightly rubs Naruto’s back, and thinks, _God, I wish this were a cigarette._

* * *

They all look at each other, brows raised, eyes carefully unreadable. Like wolves circling each other, assessing their opponent’s strength, anticipating the next move, determining when and where exactly they should strike, their eyes flit around the table, the only thing moving amidst stony faces. The general din of the room around them seems to fade, and the only sounds anyone at the table heard were their own feet tapping, fingers drumming, hearts beating. 

The stillness seems to stretch on for hours. No one wants to break first. But someone has to. 

A sigh. The scratch of a glass on meticulously polished wood. The clink of plastic chips rattling against each other. 

“I’m all in.” 

And suddenly, a jubilant roar as the woman with thick, blonde hair throws her cards facedown on the table. She stands, rather crassly, as she downs the rest of her drink in one go. 

“A ROYAL FUCKING FLUSH, LADIES. LOOK AT THAT. A ROYAL FLUSH.” She bellows. “HAND OVER MY WINNINGS, YOU FILTHY LOSERS.” 

Her face, flushed with alcohol and glory, looks radiant as she messily pushes the money and odd ring or watch into a large briefcase provided by her companion. 

She claps one of the sour-looking old men next to her on the back, yelling an arrogant apology for her victory directly into his ear in order to be heard amidst the ruckus of the bar. Leaning over the table, she reaches at the last untouched cup of sake and downs it too, aiming for a flirtatious slap against the corresponding man’s head. In her drunkenness, she vastly underestimates her own power, and accidentally sends him flying into the wall. 

Paying no heed to the sudden yells around her, the woman gets up, still laughing, with her companion and her pet, fastening the large black briefcase against her side as she forces her way out the door. And just like that, the light and hearty atmosphere within the bar seems to dissipate. 

The men lethargically gather their cards and chips, making half-hearted conversation with each other– groaning about their loss, asking about a home and kids. 

One of the younger boys at the table though, remains seated, staring down at his full house in disbelief. He turns his hands so that they rest palms up against the table in defeat. Not even bothering to look up, he asks the older gentleman next to him, “Who the fuck was that?” 

The older man grasps the younger’s shoulder and squeezes it reassuringly, then turns to look out through the windows of the bar behind them. Amidst the monotone layers of early morning indigos and greys, one crown of pale blonde retreats in the distance. 

“That,” the man replies, with a slight air of wistfulness, “is the Slug Princess, Senju Tsunade.”

* * *

While the men at the bar lusted over her and the idea of besting her in the bed and in the betting pool, Tsunade stands in an alleyway with Shizune and Tonton, clutching the oversized briefcase to her midriff, and panics about her latest winning. 

“This is the fourth one in a row! This never happens!”

“I know, Shishou.” 

“The last time this happened was right before Da– was right before _that_ happened! Something’s gonna go horribly again, I know it!” 

“I know, Shishou!” came the frantic response. “But you can’t just freak out every time you catch a winning streak. Maybe you’re just getting better!” 

Tsunade stomps a heel-clad shoe against the gravel petulantly. “Can and will! Something’s about to happen, there’s no way it won’t!” 

“I _know_ , Shishou!” Shizune nearly snaps. “Look, do you want to return the winnings?” 

Immediately, all the panic flows from Tsunade’s body as she regards her companion incredulously. “Are you out of your goddamn mind? Are you actually dumb, Shizune?” 

Shizune _harrumphs_. “That’s what I thought. So now that you’ve won, no use worrying about it. Just keep your eyes peeled for anything strange, if you’re so insistent that it’ll happen.” 

“Can’t we just leave? Isn’t that safer?” 

“Shishou…. We came here yesterday–” 

“–and we’ve stayed in villages for less time! We haven’t even unpacked, Shizune, _please_.” 

“Shishou, I’m _so tired_. We haven’t stopped traveling for practically days now!” 

“ _Ton!_ ” 

“See, Shisou, Tonton agrees with me! _Please_ , can we stay here just one more day? All of our luggage is in such a nice room at the hotel, did you see the beds? Shishou, you can’t possibly _not_ want to stay there. _Please_?” 

Tsunade grimaces and jerks her head away from Shizune. “Fine. One more day. But if _anything_ seems to go wrong in that time, we leave. Understood?” 

Shizune beams. “Understood, Shishou!” 

Tsunade allows herself a small smile at her apprentice’s obvious relief. “Come on, then. Let’s get back to the hotel, shall we?” She turns on her heel and marches out of the alleyway, back towards the bar. She doesn’t bother to check if Shizune had followed her, the extra clack of heels and light bouncing of pearls tells her everything she needs to know, not to mention Tsunade can’t name a place other than the _bathroom_ that Shizune hasn’t followed her to in the last ten years. Tsunade effortlessly slides the hefty wooden door of the inn with a singular, immaculately manicured hand, and strides through to the bar area, and approaches the innkeeper. 

“Evening, Mai-san! Hope we didn’t completely ruin the bar earlier,” Tsunade laughs as she breezes past the desk and to the stairwell. 

“Nothing that can’t be fixed in a day, Tsunade-hime, Shizune-san.” As she laughed, the crow's feet around Mai’s eyes deepened, furthering her image as a kind, maternal woman completely at odds with the raucous bar she kept. “Now,” she limped over to the end of the counter to look up at Tsunade and Shizune who were already halfway up the stairs, “you two get a good night’s rest, and you better not be stingy with breakfast tomorrow, what with those winnings I saw you get today.” 

Mai’s eyes sparkled despite her mildly threatening tone, and Shizune laughed, a ring that echoed through the stairwell. “It’ll be the full traditional for both of us tomorrow morning, Mai-san, don’t you worry,” Shizune said. 

“Good girl. Now both of you, sleep well!” 

“Goodnight, Mai-san!” rang out one last time in the empty stairwell as Mai looked at Shizune and Tsunade’s retreating backs for a split second longer and smiled. 

In their small inn room, Shizune looks up from where she’s setting aside her clothes for tomorrow. “Shishou, why don’t we spend the day sightseeing? I thought I saw a pretty tower when we were entering earlier, it might be a nice way to relax, right?” 

“Whatever you want, Shizune. We’ve got these winnings, cursed as they may be, so I’m all set.” 

“Well, alright then. I’m glad you’re on board.” Shizune removes her haori and tucks herself into bed. “Goodnight, Shishou. Congrats on the win.” 

Shooting one last smile at her apprentice, Tsunade flicks the lamp light off and gets into bed too. “Night, Shizune. Here’s to hoping I’ve just gotten that much better at gambling.” 

* * *

“Oh, _fuck_.” 

(Tsunade was right the first time. She absolutely did not get that much better at gambling.) 

* * *

It took a while to reach this point, however. It began, as most things do, by just waking up. 

“Shishou! Sightseeing today! Let’s get ready!” Shizune eagerly shook Tsunade’s bed, looking uncannily like an overly-excited puppy. “Shishou! We can’t waste the day! This is the first real time we’ve had off!” 

Tsunade groaned, shielding her eyes from the sunlight now streaming in from the window. The back of her head felt prickly, the way she always felt when something is off, but it could have also been due to the fact that her entire head was also _throbbing like mad_ , most likely due to the sheer amount of sake she had managed to drink in two short hours last night. 

While Shizune excitedly flit about the room, putting away their clothes and sorting their luggage in preparation for the day ahead of them, Tsunade sat in front of the inn vanity and stared listlessly at her reflection. Her hair was mangled and her eyes bloodshot from lack of proper sleep. Snatching the brush from the counter, she managed to tame her hair into her normal style and use every last ounce of her patience to not snap at Shizune, who now was humming delightedly under her breath. 

Once Tsunade finally got ready, they descended to the main floor of the inn, where Mai greeted them warmly and provided them with a hearty breakfast. Shizune and Mai fell easily into conversation, Shizune admiring the line of pearls Mai donned today. After serving them, Mai walked back to her place behind the inn’s counter, and Tsunade felt the prickle in the back of her head worsen. _Probably just the idea of eating right now_. 

They finished their meal and offered their thanks to Mai, whose eyes crinkled around the edges endearingly. But the farther and farther the two kunoichi walked away from Mai and to the door, the more painful the prickling in Tsunade’s head became. 

Tsunade touched the doorknob, and suddenly, every inkling of something wrong she had felt since the moment she woke up fell into place with one realization: 

_Mai wasn’t limping this morning._

“Shizune,” Tsunade said in a low voice, “Take Tonton and run.” 

Shizune’s eyes widened. She met Tsunade’s gaze, and then flicked it slightly over to where the counter was. Only a second later, realization dawned in her eyes. “Are you sure? You’re not recovered yet.” 

Tsunade grinned, but it was more of a grimace than anything else. “I’ve done more with less. Take Tonton, leave normally, check for shinobi as discreetly as possible, and shunshin out of sight. If things go bad, I’m going to need you to pop in. Understood?” 

“Understood, Shishou. Good luck.” 

This forced a laugh out of her. “Luck? Shizune, I’m still a Sannin of the Village Hidden in the Leaves. I don’t need luck. I will win.” 

Shizune left through the wide sliding door, and Tsunade turned back around to face the counter and closed her eyes. 

“One, two, three, four…. _Five_ more of you?” Tsunade opened her eyes and looked at the shinobi who had henge’d into Mai. “Honestly, I’m quite flattered. But did you hurt Mai-san? If you did, I might have to actually try in this fight. For her honor, you know.” 

The shinobi who had henge’d into Mai did not respond. 

“Right, well, I guess you wouldn’t want to answer me. But let me ask this, for both of our sakes– _why don’t we take this outside?_ ” And with that, Tsunade brought the side of her chakra-enhanced fist into the hefty door of the inn. 

* * *

Hair still miraculously in place, Tsunade grimaces at the now-completely collapsed inn behind her, the cracks in the ground beneath her, and wonders why she bothered putting on makeup this morning. 

_Throb._ Right. It was for the horrific eye bags she woke up with. And to cover the fact that she is painfully, painfully hungover. 

For the most part, the six shinobi that had ambushed seem prepared to keep fighting, except for one, whom Tsunade isn’t sure whether she killed or just knocked out. _Tch_. 

“Couldn’t you have waited till I wasn’t still half drunk? You people are so inconsiderate. _Lord_.” 

Tsunade sweeps her left foot behind her, distributing her weight evenly across her body. She shakes out the fist she used to blow out the storefront and brings it loosely in front of her face, keeping the other relaxed to guard her midriff. She takes a deep breath– in for three, out for three– and settles her gaze on the middle of the five shinobi who are currently closing in. 

“Alright,” she smirks. “Let’s dance.” 

But no one came forth. 

So Tsunade waits for another second. Then another three. A minute passes. 

Sliding out of her stance, Tsunade laughs a bit. “Already given up? Man, and I was just about ready to start fighting too. And right after I had that amazing one-liner… You’re really making me feel old…” 

Slowly, the shinobi in the middle draws a kunai from their pouch, and something in Tsunade’s brain clicks. 

“That grip… You’re Konoha shinobi, aren’t you?” 

No response. 

“Why do your masks look so different? Have they changed ANBU that much since I’ve left?” 

No response. 

“And why are you attacking me, anyway? I got permission from Sarutobi-sensei to leave! So you guys have to be––” Something settles in Tsunade’s gut and lodges itself there, filling her with nausea and unease. “ _oh_. _Oh_ , I see.” 

Still no response. Tsunade narrows her eyes. 

“Are you cowards going to fight me or not?” 

Then, so quickly Tsunade hears the sound of metal slipping cleanly through the air before she can even see it, the shinobi slashes their arm open and lets blood spill from the open wound. 

The effect is immediate. Tsunade immediately feels weak at the knees and fights the bile threatening to rise up her throat. _Fuck. Fuck, I can’t be in this state right now. Snap out of it, Tsunade, snap_ out _of it!_

Tsunade crumbles, bowing over the ground as she clutches her chest and tries to ignore the sharp smell of iron wafting through the air. She grips the crystal that hangs from her neck and focuses on steadying her breathing and feeling the movement of chakra around her as the shinobi steadily approaches her. 

_Well, if only one of them is going to interact with me, may as well get rid of the rest of ‘em._

Instantly, Tsunade floods her chakra paths, bathing her in a light green aura and filling the clearing where she stands with the sharp smell of maple syrup. She raises her right foot, balancing her weight, and _slams_ it down, keeping her arms bent by her hips to help ground her. The ground erupts into fissures, and then explodes outward, trapping the five shinobi before her underneath the resulting boulders. Given their weight, they should be dealing with incredibly painful rib fractures that will prevent them from moving for a long, long time. Or at least until Tsunade heals them. If she feels like healing them. 

And before the shinobi with the slashed arm can move or retaliate, Tsunade quickly makes three hand signs– boar, dog, horse– and brings her hands to join the intact ground beneath her. Instantly, a mud dome encases the shinobi, layers and layers of chakra-infused earth forming a tight net. Tsunade strides over with purpose, idly wondering where Shizune is right now, if she’s in the trees, but doesn’t want to expend unnecessary chakra on locating her chakra signature. After she reaches the dome, she stands for a second and lets her chakra flare a bit, to be showy. Once again, Tsunade is reminded of how good her eternally youthful image is– good for men who underestimate her in gambling and bar fights, and _very_ good for robotically-trained shinobi who look at her deceivingly dainty arms, her meticulously filed cherry-tinted fingers and toes, and her low-cut top, and think Tsunade’s reputation has been twisted and magnified by hearsay and legend and word of mouth. But in reality, Senju Tsunade, the last remaining heir of Hashirama and Tobirama, Sannin of Konoha, legendary kunoichi, the woman who single-handedly transformed battle medicine, is _much_ more than what the whispers make of her. 

Lazily, she tosses one of her loosely-tied ponytails back and inspects the damage around her. Three of the shinobi seem to be suffering head wounds, the other passed out from the sheer blunt impact. And the last, encased in a dome. 

Tsunade has yet to break a sweat. 

She decides to take pity on him; he is, after all, a fellow shinobi of Konoha. “If you want any chance of getting out of here, or fulfilling what I am pretty sure is your duty, you will talk. The other option is me sealing the microscopic air holes in this dome and leaving you here to suffocate and die, which will take practically none of my chakra, and all of fifteen minutes.” 

A pause. “Tsunade-hime,” she hears, muffled by the earth. “A message from Danzo Shimura of Konoha.” 

Tsunade’s eyebrows shoot up. “Not from the Hokage? What happened to the Yondaime? Last I checked, Minato was still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed about the whole affair.”

Another pause. Eventually, it seems like the shinobi decides answering Tsunade directly isn’t in violation of his mission, so he responds: “the Yondaime Hokage is dead. Just over a month ago, the Kyuubi was released and nearly destroyed the village.” 

This time, Tsunade actually makes a noise of surprise. “ _Dead_? Who’s the Hokage now?”

“The Sandaime.” 

“The Sandaime, _Tsunade-sama._ ” 

A sigh. Tsunade takes this as a signal to reinforce the dome a bit. 

The shinobi croaks, “The Sandaime, Tsunade-hime.” 

Momentarily appeased, Tsuande returns the dome to normal. “If Sarutobi-sensei is Hokage again, then why are your masks….” She trails off. “I am going to ask you a question. If you answer me, it will be to deny my statement. If you don’t respond, I am going to assume what I have said is true. Given what it is, I will not harm you any more than I absolutely must if we fight. Do you understand?” 

“I do, Tsunade-hime.” 

“Very good.” Tsunade drums her nails along the top of the earthen dome. “Some of my sources tell me that there are not one, but _two_ elite assassination and tactical groups housed in Konoha. One is ANBU, and is sanctioned by and for the Hokage. The other is ROOT, and is _not_ sanctioned by the Hokage. Are you a member of this group?” 

Tsunade waits for ten seconds, and no answer comes. She looks heavenward. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I really am going to_ kill _Sarutobi-sensei when I go back there._ “Right. Okay.” She straightens. “I am going to dissolve this dome, and you are going to deliver your message to me. I am alone, and I am willing to listen to your message, which means you have no reason to fight. If you decide to fight, however, I would remind you to think of the state of your four–sorry, five– comrades, and of the fact that I have not exhausted my chakra reserves at all. Do you understand the conditions you must agree to in order for you to get out of this dome, and, probably more importantly, deliver the results of this mission to your _master_?” 

Like this, Tsunade is a completely different person than who she was at the poker table not twelve hours ago. Then, she was an overly-excitable civilian gambler with a devilishly good figure. She was young, she was enticing, she was a flirt who could drink the five men around her under the table with no effort. Now, standing casually over the dome that easily covers her opponent, Tsunade is a spitfire kunoichi with the blessing of Senju Hashirama and Uzumaki Mito around her neck. She is the Slug Princess and disciple of the Sandaime Hokage, she is older and wiser than any of her enemies have given her credit for– and most importantly, she is about to make this poor ROOT shinobi sorry he ever tried to engage with her. But for now, she brings her hands together, and says, “ _Kai!”_

The dome immediately crumbles gracefully around the now-crouching ROOT shinobi, forming a neat circle of dirt around them. Tsunade notes, with mild interest and amusement, that they managed to heal their own wound while they were trapped. 

“Stand. And deliver your message.” 

“Danzo-sama would like you to return to Konoha or send him a message, because he currently requires your medical expertise and assistance for research he is currently doing with Orochimaru-sama.” 

Tsunade wonders how she still manages to be surprised by what this shinobi is telling her. “Orochimaru?” she presses, feeling the name of her former teammate roll around in her mouth. It tastes sour. As much as she loathes to admit it, she misses him. “Why are Danzo and Orochimaru working together?” 

“That is not part of the mission parameters. Danzo-sama simply requires your medical expertise in this research with Orochimaru. What shall I tell him?” 

_Something's not right. Something is about to go very, very, wrong._ Tsunade thinks about the oversized briefcase filled with gold in the corner of her inn, and curses it with such vigor that Tobi-ojichan would be proud. 

“You will tell him nothing,” Tsunade takes a threatening step towards the shinobi, “Until you tell me _what exactly_ Danzo and Orochimaru are researching, and _why_ they need me specifically.” 

The ROOT shinobi hesitates almost imperceptibly. Tsunade almost allows herself to smirk, but then the shinobi brings a kunai out _again_ , and slashes his wrist _again_ . And Tsunade feels herself crumble with the sharp smell of iron, humiliatingly, _again_. 

“You have one week to consider Danzo-sama’s offer,” the shinobi says, returning to their robotic state. Distantly, as Tsunade counts in threes, she registers the shinobi getting away. 

Still gulping down air, Tsunade’s first thought upon registering that she is alone in the clearing is, predictably, _FUCK._

The second, she voices out loud. “SHIZUNE!” She calls, and, in a flash, her raven-haired assistant is by her side. She sighs. “I need a drink.” 

* * *

“GOD, I’m starving.” 

“Shiranui, you’ve been saying this for hours now. You’re practically louder than the baby,” Kakashi rolls his eyes. 

“That doesn’t make it any less true!” He retorts. “C’mon, it’s raining, Naruto is hungry too, we may as well stop to get some grub. The town looks nice!” 

Kakashi scoffs, but doesn’t say anything, mostly because his stomach has been growling for the last three hours too. Instead, he silently defers to Gai. 

“Yosh! We aren’t too far off, and this will be a good place to replenish our strength and ensure Naruto has a chance to eat and rest!” 

The three shinobi look at Jiraiya, who is walking slightly ahead of them. Thankfully, his shoulders slump in relief too, and Kakashi quietly laughs. _He was probably just avoiding saying he wants to stop so we’d take him more seriously_. 

“Right! Let’s stop. I’m pretty sure there’s a bar around here, and I could definitely use a drink.” 

The dour mood immediately lightens, and the four shinobi weave through the small civilian town. The streets, for the most part, are empty: the streetlamps bathe a soft yellow light on the cobblestone that lies beneath older wooden buildings and storefronts this late at night. Every now and then, they will pass a civilian couple who look very much in love, or a still-drunk businessman stumbling blindly down the sidewalk. 

Eventually, they reach a small bar at the end of an alley, noticeable for its small neon sign. It looks less crowded than anywhere else, which Gai says will probably be better for Naruto. As soon as they enter, though, the host looks between the older man with white hair cascading down his back and the three clearly underage boys, one of whom is holding a baby, and promptly tells them to find another place to dine. Rather exhausted, they pull off a rather awkward maneuver which involves Kakashi almost revealing his sharingan, Gai frantically stopping him and then having to calm the baby, and Jiraiya exasperatedly sliding the host a few bills, and find themselves directed to a booth near the back of the restaurant. 

And just as they reach the end of the bar, Jiraiya abruptly stops. 

Genma runs straight into Jiraiya’s back. “Toadie, what the hell was that for?” 

But Kakashi and Gai, who now flank Genma on either side, can see exactly what made the Toad Sage stop in his tracks. Standing just before them, soft blonde hair made yellow gold in the bar light, cheeks flushed from alcohol, and a smile half-frozen onto her face, stands Senju Tsunade. 

“Well, ladies,” Jiraiya grins, his eyes not moving from where they meet Tsunade’s, “meet the Slug Princess.” 

Kakashi rolls his eyes. “We know who she is, Toad Bastard,” he says, “Can she help us is the question.” 

Tsunade’s eyes widen almost imperceptibly. “Sorry, I have a lot to process. First, _Toad Bastard_? Jiraiya, these kids are treating you with absolutely no respect, and you just let them?” 

Jiraiya sheepishly rubs the back of his neck while Genma snorts. “Yeah he does. It’s the least his useless ass can do. You’ll find out in a second.” 

Tsunade raises a brow. “Okay. Secondly,” she turns to face Kakashi. “What the hell is the son of the White Fang doing here? Don’t you have clan duties?” 

Gai looks like he’s about to say something extremely vile in defense of him, so Kakashi neatly steps in. “My father died about four years ago. There is no more Hatake clan.” 

Tsunade grimaces. “Why is everyone turning up dead? I’m sorry, kid, that must’ve been rough for you. If I knew I wouldn’t have brought it up.” 

Kakashi is so shocked at the show of sympathy his visible eye widens. “Uh… Right. Yes. Thank you, it’s no big deal,” he manages to say. 

“Glad we settled that,” Tsunade pushes forward. “Now,” she says more authoritatively, “Thirdly, and certainly _most importantly_ , _why in the world is there a baby with you_?” 

Seemingly out of nowhere, another woman appears next to Tsunade. “ _There’s a baby_?” She frantically looks at Naruto. “Is he okay? How long have you been traveling with him?” 

“Who are you?” Genma says, at the same time Gai says, “I believe so! We have been traveling for about 8 hours, but he was fed and changed right before we left, and asleep for the vast majority of the trip. We were hoping to feed him now!” 

“This is Shizune, my apprentice,” Tsunade says. “Maito, you have the right idea. Shizune can help with the food and figuring out if anything is wrong with him.” 

Gai looks up from where he’s handing Naruto’s bundled form to Shizune. “I’m sorry if I’m being overly presumptuous, Tsunade-hime, but how do you know my name?” 

“My, aren’t you polite?” She gives him an indulgent smile. “At least one of you has the right idea, then. Kid, you look exactly like your father. And I may have been outside of Konoha for a while, but Maito Dai has been a legend for longer than when I’ve left. You should be proud to carry on his legacy.” 

Kakashi saw Gai’s eyes start to water and he felt his heart squeeze. “Thank you for your kindness, Tsunade-hime,” Gai said impressively evenly. “Allow me to properly introduce ourselves. I am Gai, a jounin candidate for Konoha. My two companions are Shiranui Genma, my dear teammate, tokubetsu jounin of Konoha, and former guard to the Yondaime Hokage, and Hatake Kakashi, my eternal rival and Commanding Officer of ANBU.” 

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, kids,” she nods. “Now, will anybody actually explain to me why you’re traveling with this baby?” 

Jiraiya sighs deeply. “Right. It’s in our best interest to get the hard part over with. Why don’t you and Shizune join us at our booth?” 

She nods as he directs their large group to the back of the restaurant, where Tsunade finds herself, for the third time in the last 48 hours, surrounded by five men of various ages, and for the second, crowded around a small table, lit only by a flickering fluorescent light. Tsunade sits on one side of the booth along with Shizune and Gai, who are muttering amongst themselves about how to properly take care of Naruto, what Genma and Gai have been feeding Naruto, if Naruto was well-behaved on the trip over. In the other booth, Jiraiya is sandwiched between Kakashi and Genma, who both look equally uncomfortable at either end of the booth.

Tsunade looks at Jiraiya across the table, and for a moment, they are jounin in the midst of the Third Ninja War, trying to forget the crumbling world around them, looking for cheap grub with Orochimaru, interleaving gossip about other shinobi with battle plans, conspiring about the enemy’s weak points and powers. And now here they find themselves, so many years later, and Tsunade has an inkling that they are about to pass on that Will of Fire to the next generation, sitting at this very table. 

“Alright. I have two questions. First, why are you traveling with a baby? Actually, now I have three questions, sorry. First, yes, why the baby, two, _who_ is the baby, and three, there’s no way the four of you just so happened to be on a mission that _just so happened_ to be where Shizune and I are. So, why do you need me?” 

“Well, easiest question first, I suppose,” Jiraiya responds, placing his hands on the table. “We need you to come back to Konoha with us and be the next Hokage.” 

Tsunade spits out her beer, which Kakashi very narrowly dodges. Shizune jerks her head up, nearly banging her head against the bottom of Gai’s jaw in the process. 

“You WHAT?” 

Jiraiya’s voice does not waver. “We came to retrieve you in order to be the next Hokage.” 

Tsunade laughs, slightly hysterically. “Jiraiya, you must be out of your goddamn mind. There is absolutely no way I’d become Hokage.” 

“Why not? It’s not a frontline position, you can still gamble in your free time, and you’d be no more committed to the village than you already are.” 

Tsunade takes an aggressive swig of her beer and slams it down on the table angrily. “Every single Hokage has died a premature death, giving their life for a village that does nothing for them in return. Only a complete _fool_ would actually want the position. Ojii-chan sacrificed his life for a village that went against his very ideals. Tobi-ojichan was too hardened from Ojii-chan’s death and then _he_ had to go fight in a war too, and then the relationship between the Uchiha and the Senju got even worse. Then Sarutobi-sensei was way too soft for his own good, letting his own friendships rot the city from the inside.” She smacked her lips together. “And then that _Namikaze_ – he was young and he seemed good, but at the end of the day he was just––” 

It all seems to happen in slow motion: Kakashi, lunging over the table and yanking Tsunade forward by the neck of her haori, completely uncaring of the fact that he may as well have been ripping off her shirt. Tsunade’s beer, topping over half-full onto the floor. Jiraiya, immediately leaping up and having to jerk Kakashi back. Gai, yelling and clutching Naruto closer to his chest. Shizune, immediately using her body to shield Naruto as well. Genma, panicking and pleading with Kakashi to _let go_ , exchanging a frightened look with Gai– 

–And then it all comes crashing down at once. 

“KEEP SENSEI’S NAME OUT OF YOUR FILTHY MOUTH, YOU PATHETIC GAMBLING BITCH!”

Tsunade uses two chakra enhanced fists to throw Kakashi’s hands off her. She stands up, slams one heeled foot on the table and leans over to get inches away from Kakashi, who stands exactly where she left him, visible eye burning with rage. She keeps her voice softer than Kakashi’s, but no less venomous, when she says, “Do you know who the fuck you’re talking to, you snot-nosed brat? I’ve done more with my pinky toe than you probably have in your ten-something years alive. I’ve killed men three times your age _and_ your size. If you kneel and apologize right now, maybe I’ll consider not completely kicking your ass.” 

“Shishou, _please_ –” 

“Hatake, I’m begging you, _sit down_ –” 

Kakashi gets out of the booth and stands, hands clenched at his sides. The light begins to flicker and he’s starting to feel goosebumps along his skin again when he says, “Follow me outside. _Now.”_

Kakashi immediately storms out of the bar, Tsunade hot on his heels, both only made angrier by their lack of food and excess of alcohol, respectively. Jiraiya, Genma, Gai, and Shizune, who now holds Naruto, scramble outside after them, only to see Kakashi and Tsunade gearing up for a fight in the dimly-lit street. 

“Do you know who _I_ am, you two-bit hag? I’m the youngest Commanding Officer of ANBU. I graduated from the Academy at _six years old_ . I’m an S-ranked-nin in all five shinobi nation bingo books, but more than all of that, I’m young enough that I didn’t have to live through the Third Ninja War. I’m young enough to not give a singular _fuck_ about who you are, Sannin or granddaughter of Hashirama or whatever!” Kakashi screams across the road to wear Tsunade stands. Genma and Gai exchange yet another panicked look; they’ve never seen Kakashi raise his voice like this. Kakashi is talking so fast and so loudly now that his words are starting to slur together, his hands are shaking with lightning he doesn’t even notice crackling through his fingertips, his voice keeps cracking because he has never raised it to this level in his life. And yet, Kakashi _keeps screaming_ , “I’m young enough that no matter what I accomplish for this village, all I ever do is live through the failings of the war _you_ were supposed to have ended! And Sensei knew that, and he was the only person who saw that there was something wrong and actually cared enough to try and fix it, SO KEEP HIS NAME OUT OF OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” 

And fast enough for only ninja to process, Kakashi appears, enraged, right in front of Tsunade who stands dumbstruck, right hand poised back, about to punch right through her chest–

“KAKASHI! YOUR CHIDORI!” 

Genma’s scream rings through the street and hits Kakashi like a punch to the gut. Immediately, he freezes, and the lightning fizzles out. Kakashi staggers backwards, taking large gulps of air. Under the streetlamp, Tsunade can see that the cloth under his left eye is steadily darkening as Kakashi clutches his hitai-ate and groans in pain. 

No one dares move as Kakashi stumbles back across the street, back where he had started. “I’m–” he croaks, once, twice, voice completely shot. “I’m sorry,” he eventually stammers. “I don’t…. I wasn’t in control, I have to–” he starts to turn to the direction of the trees, away from Tsunade, the street, the prying eyes of Jiraiya and Shizune who have never seen him panic, “I have to go and…. I have to go.” He turns to Genma and Gai, “I’m sorry. I’ll be back soon. I have to go,” He swallows roughly and pleads, though no one has denied him, “Let me go…” 

Gai steps tentatively towards Kakashi. “My eternal rival,” he says gently, in a voice that betrays none of the heartbreak he feels, “Please be safe, alright?” 

Kakashi nods jauntily, and immediately shunshins away. 

Now, with the attention of everyone on Tsunade, she plops gracelessly on the ground and looks up at everyone. “What the hell was that?” 

“Chidori,” Genma supplies shortly. “It’s a physical extension of his lightning affinity. He devised it himself and got help from Minato-sensei, and it became second nature to the degree where he can’t control it when he gets upset. He hates it more than anything else in the world.” 

Tsunade scoffs softly. “Well, yeah, any shinobi would hate not being in control of their own jutsu.”

“No, that’s not it. He hates having come up with Chidori at all. He can’t bear the sight of it.” 

“Why? That seems like a viciously effective jutsu, not to mention how innovative and convenient it is,” Tsunade says. “It seems relatively chakra-efficient too.” 

Genma looks like he has swallowed a particularly sour lemon. “He killed one of his genin teammates with it.” Taking in Tsunade’s wide eyes, he amends, “Well, she committed suicide using his chidori. He was aiming for an enemy shinobi. You have to have heard what they say about him,” Genma shoves his hands in his pockets, tone deceptively light, “Kakashi the Friend Killer. Cold-Blooded Kakashi. The Copy-Cat Ninja. The Sharingan Bastard. You have, haven’t you?” 

Tsunade nods, slowly. “I did… I didn’t realize the son of the White Fang was _that_ Kakashi.” 

“How many other Kakashis do you know? It’s not exactly a common name,” Genma snaps. “Look, Tsunade-sama. Kakashi is the most gifted weapon Konoha has been blessed with in the last generation, but he’s still just a kid. He spent the first ten years of his life watching the name of his father get dragged through the mud by the very shinobi he saved until he killed himself, and then spent the next four promptly losing damn near every single remaining member of a family he had. Obito, Rin, _Minato-sensei_ . I mean, goddammit, the only reason we lugged our asses all the way here in the first place is because this baby is the last remaining semblance of family and responsibility he _has_ , and Kakashi would go ballistic if he had to just sit and let Minato-sensei’s kid grow up the same way he did himself. You’re right, you’ve probably done more than he has in his entire life with your thumb, or whatever the fuck you said. Because he’s a traumatized _kid_. I’m sorry on his behalf if anything he said was offensive to you.” Genma suddenly looks much older than his years as he sighs, spits out his senbon, and kicks at where it lodges itself in the concrete. He rolls his shoulders back, returning to his full height from where he had hunched in on himself, trying to avoid eye contact while exposing the depths of Kakashi’s pain to a woman who has no right to learn it at all, and says “I’m gonna go check on Hatake. Gai, you good to stay here?” 

“Yosh! Thank you, my dear teammate. Please go retrieve my eternal rival and return!” Gai flashes a thumbs-up. 

Genma nods, smiling a bit. “Great,” he says, pulling another senbon from his pouch and letting it rest between his teeth. “Be back in a few,” he does a lazy half-salute and shunshins off into the forest. 

Tsunade leans back on her hands and takes a deep breath. 

“Tsunade-hime, if I may…?” Gai takes a tentative step forward. “I’m sure that this has all been a bit much for you to hear. As much as I love them, the extremely powerful shinobi I am blessed to be traveling with are a bit less experienced in tact.” 

Tsunade takes the olive branch for what it is, and rewards Gai for his politeness with a shadow of a smile. She sits up and gestures to the spot on the ground in front of her. Gai sits down, and says, “If I recall correctly, there were other questions you had asked in the bar that were left unanswered. Truthfully, they all relate to why we came to find you. But Jiraiya-sama was right, in that asking you to be Hokage was actually the easiest thing to admit first. We’re rather desperate, you see.” Gai sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. 

“You’re the only one who treats Jiraiya with any respect out of the three of you, huh? Well, no wonder I like you the best of the lot.” 

Gai sits up straight and looks Tsunade directly in the eyes. “Tsunade-hime, know that my eternal rival and dear teammate would never go out of their way to be disrespectful to a superior without any reason. And if I’m being honest, I don’t particularly respect Jiraiya-sama either, but he has been helpful these past few days, and it’s against my nature to refer to my superiors so casually, regardless of what they’ve done.” 

Now Tsunade’s interest is piqued. “What did Jiraiya do?” 

Gai huffs out a dry laugh. “Well, funny you should ask, because all roads lead to the same thing. Are you comfortable?” She nods. “Alright. To start, the baby we are traveling with and that Shizune-san is currently looking after is Uzumaki Naruto, the child of the Yondaime Hokage and Uzumaki Kushina. I trust you know them?” Another nod, more slowly this time. “Even though you’ve been away, I’m sure some details have reached you. Clearly, based on the events that happened earlier, you know that Minato-sensei has died. What exactly do you know?” 

“... Just that he died protecting Konoha from the Kyuubi.” 

Gai nods. “The Kyuubi’s jinchuuriki was Kushina-senpai. Just over a month ago, someone close to Minato-sensei and his position as the Hokage took advantage of Kushina-senpai’s jinchuuriki seal weakening, and unleashed the Kyuubi onto the village. Both Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai gave their lives to contain the beast, leaving Naruto with no family.”

“How did they manage to contain it? I mean, where would they seal the Kyuubi if both of them were about to die?” Tsunade asks, confused. 

Gai doesn’t say anything, but he raises his brows slightly instead. 

When it hits her, Tsunade feels like she’s going to vomit. “I _n his own_ son _?”_

Gai nods. “Who else was there? Minato-sensei had no one else, and needed to save the village. I… He had to have had an immense amount of faith in Naruto and the village, to seal the Kyuubi in him.” 

Tsunade sits with that for a second. “Wait, and this has to do with Jiraiya _how_?” 

Gai averts his gaze. “Minato-sensei and Kushina-senpai named Jiraiya Naruto’s godfather… but Jiraiya refuses to take Naruto and raise him. He says he just can’t.” 

Tsunade’s eyes widen. “ _No_ …. Jiraiya wouldn’t do that, he loved Minato like a son, I know he did!” 

“But the fact remains that he didn’t. My eternal rival… did not take too well to that. And honestly, neither did my dear teammate, nor me. He could’ve found a way if he actually cared enough. At that point, though, I guess we could all live with it.” 

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ somewhere in there.” 

Gai nods. “After the Sandaime pulled the four of us aside and weirdly told us we weren’t allowed to raise Naruto due to ‘conflicts of interest’,” Gai makes air quotation marks, “Jiraiya suggested we place Naruto in the civilian orphanage. They understand how to deal with babies, they won’t have a conflict of interest, they’re less likely to know that Naruto is the missing son of the Yondaime Hokage and the jinchuuriki of the Tailed Beast that just destroyed the village. It made sense. But… exactly a month later, I was going to train with my eternal rival early in the morning, as a way of blowing off steam. The night before, Kakashi was….” Gai gets a faraway look in his eyes. “He doesn’t… Kakashi is a born and bred warrior. Which means he keeps all of his emotions locked away where he can’t feel them, and when he does….” Gai trails off. Tsunade searches Gai’s face, trying to see where his sudden wistfulness has come from, but before she can figure it out, Gai shakes himself out of his reverie. He takes a breath that makes his shoulders rise, saying “I was on my way to the opposite side of the village to get to the training grounds, and I happened to pass over the civilian area of town. I heard crying on one of the streets, so I went to go check what it was so early in the morning, and it was…” Gai struggles to get the words out. “Naruto was wrapped up on the side of the road, just abandoned. I don’t know how long he had been out there before I could get to him. I didn’t know if he had eaten, I didn’t know if he had been malnourished, for how long during that month he had been mistreated or neglected….” 

Gai takes another breath and turns to meet Tsunade’s eyes again. “We need you. We can’t give Naruto to any of Minato-sensei’s jounin friends, because all of them are either clan heads or high-ranking jounin who have full time jobs, especially trying to rebuild the city, not to mention both of them having small children as well. Mikoto Uchiha wanted to take him in because she was Kushina-senpai’s best friend, but she can’t because… she’s an Uchiha. And it’s not like me or my dear teammate or eternal rival can’t take him in, or even raise him together,” He explains, “But Tsunade-hime, look at us. I’m only fifteen years old. Genma is sixteen, and Kakashi is only fourteen, despite the fact that he acts older than all of us. Genma is the only one out of the three of us that isn’t an orphan and has some general idea about what taking care of a baby is like, and all three of us are high-ranking shinobi that are needed for missions in Konoha. We can’t do this. And he can’t die– not just because he’s the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi, or even because he’s the Yondaime Hokage’s legacy, but because he’s a _baby_ , Tsunade-hime, and he’s a child of the Will of Fire. You have to help, Tsunade-hime, you’re the only one who could possibly raise him and give him the upbringing he deserves, as a maternal figure and a kunoichi.” 

“And that’s why we need you as Hokage too– no, really,” he says, cutting Tsunade off before she can say anything. “Why didn’t the Sandaime let us talk about the Kyuubi attack at all? Why did he forbid anyone from revealing that the blond orphan was Minato-sensei’s child? Why did he stand by and do nothing when Naruto was neglected? Why didn’t he let any of us raise him? It doesn’t make _sense_. The fact that the Sandaime is either executing or allowing this horrible system to exist, knowing what he does, is absolutely inexcusable. You’re the other candidate we have, because Jiraiya-sama…. Needs to be traveling, for some reason.” 

Tsunade looks up, takes a deep breath, and wishes she was drunk out of her mind. “No.” She looks back down at Gai. “I can’t go back to Konoha.” 

Gai stands up, and Tsunade thinks for a second that she’s pissed him off so much he’s going to leave and find Kakashi. Instead, she finds herself looking at Gai in dogeza, who says “Tsunade-hime, please. I know you should do this for Naruto and Konoha, but I need you to do this for me. For _Kakashi_. I can’t….. Naruto is the closest thing to a family he has left, and if we had to leave Naruto alone to die or….” Gai audibly swallows, “Or worse, he won’t… He’ll end up like his father. We can’t just abandon both of them, Tsunade-hime, _please_ , I’ll do anything, I really will.” 

Shocked out of her mind by this young boy and trained killer that she doesn’t even know prostrating himself before her, Tsunade thinks for a few seconds and starts to feel the beginnings of an idea form in her mind. 

“Alright, get up. Let’s do this the best way I know how,” she says, nudging Gai’s shoulder with the corner of her heel. “What is your strongest combat form?”

Gai sits back up, confused. “...Taijutsu. Why do you need it?” 

Tsunade smiles, an echo of Tobirama’s smirk across her face. “I’m on a winning streak,” she says. “Let’s have a wager, Gai. If you can beat me in a taijutsu match in exactly one week, here, in front of Shizune, Jiraiya, Genma, and Kakashi, I will come back to Konoha with you. And if you can’t, you leave me alone, _and_ I’ll apologize to Kakashi. How’s that?” She extends her hand to him. 

And Gai smiles, relishing the challenge. “Start packing your bags, Tsunade-hime.” 

Gai clasps Tsunade’s hand. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the long wait for this chapter!! i had finals and lots of things to finish before my semester starts next week, but i tried to make this chapter good for you all. thank you so much for all the love on the last chap, and i hope you enjoy this one! for my american readers, happy inauguration!! biden certainly wasn't my ideal candidate but i can truly say i think we're heading in the right direction these next four years. if you have anything you want to discuss, fic, politics, college, life, or otherwise, don't hesitate to comment!! i love talking to you all

“Your left’s open!”

“You need to twist your body more when you use your legs to block me. You’re hyperpronating.”

“Don’t get too caught up in the last hit! Return to your neutral position faster or Kakashi will get your blind spot!” 

“You need to use chakra to enhance your punches, even just a little bit– that’s exactly what Tsunade is known for, and she’s going to knock you out with one punch if you don’t use chakra to block.” 

“You should’ve flipped up there instead of ducked under, you would’ve been able to land a kick on me from above with the momentum instead of having to force your way back up.”

“Yosh! Thank you, my eternal rival, for your constant feedback!” Gai gives himself the liberty of tilting his head just enough that Kakashi isn’t right in front of him anymore, “And you too, my dear teammate! Both of you are invaluable help!” 

Kakashi takes the divided attention as an invitation to lug a punch at Gai’s head, which he immediately dodges, jerking to the left. He grabs Kakashi’s outstretched hand and uses the momentum to hurl Kakashi onto the ground. Kakashi rolls to cushion his fall and pops up immediately to Gai flitting through his legs to kick him in the back. Kakashi goes hurtling forward, running a few steps and then springing backward onto Gai from above. 

“Don’t overextend when you block, Gai!” Genma calls out from the sidelines. 

And Gai sees Kakashi’s right leg coming swiftly down, almost in slow motion. He sees the concentrated, chakra-enhanced force, and knows that whatever he does, Kakashi will be able to block and counter using his sharingan. Gai knows that the traditional maneuver would be to raise his left arm with spare chakra to block the blow and throw Kakashi off his course by the point of strongest momentum, and send Kakashi flying back so that Gai has a second or two to recover as Kakashi runs forward to fight him again. But Gai also knows that Tsunade is a taijutsu master trained by the God of Shinobi and the Lion of the Battlefield, and that she will be expecting Gai to use the academy-taught and Konoha-trained basics. And she will destroy him with them. 

So Gai does something else instead– he waits a split second longer before feinting like he’ll use his forearm to block Kakashi, pointedly ignoring Genma’s hasty warning. At the very last second, though, Gai _drops_ , and channels all his chakra into kicking upwards, right into the back of Kakashi’s knee. Immediately, it buckles under Gai’s chakra-enhanced strength, and Kakashi is thrown upwards with the force of the blow. Instead of waiting for Kakashi to come down, Gai shoots himself up, exchanging blows with Kakashi. Struck suddenly with another idea, Gai reaches forward, midair, and grabs the sides of Kakashi’s face. 

“Gai, what–” Both black and red eyes blow wide with the suddenly gentle contact as Kakashi and Gai make eye contact. Gai screws his eyes shut, grinning maniacally. 

Gai grips Kakashi’s face with more force. “Thank you for pushing me this far, my eternal rival!” 

“For wha–” 

And Gai throws Kakashi by the neck onto the ground. Gai immediately follows him down slamming into his back, pinning his shoulders down from behind. 

Somehow, though, Kakashi manages to twist himself in Gai’s grip so that they face each other. Gai leans over Kakashi, bowl cut covering his eyes, as Kakashi blinks back up at him, bewildered. 

Still panting from the fight they just had, Gai pulls Kakashi’s hitai-ate over his sharingan. “Your eye was starting to bleed,” he explains, quirking his lips up into a small smile. 

“Ah,” Kakashi manages to choke out. “Thank you.” 

“Any last points of improvement, my eternal rival? I don’t want you to forget anything!”

Kakashi immediately stops himself from pointing out that the entire purpose of the sharingan was so that he would remember everything. Instead, he screws his other eye shut and looks to the side, mentally running through the last hour and a half.

“In that last bit, you should have used more chakra to kick my knee. It was a unique maneuver, but it didn’t have as much impact as it could’ve. And you overpronated your ankle again, it weakened your hit, and I bet it took you an extra second to adjust too, especially with your weights. Am I right?” Unmoving from his spot on Kakashi’s chest, Gai nods earnestly. “Right. There’s a reason we’re so strict on form, you know this. If Tsunade senses any weaknesses in the way you’re executing blows, she’ll exploit it, no matter how many wild moves you throw at her. So be careful, and get it right next time.”

“Yosh! Thank you so much, my eternal rival! I will take your comments to heart and ensure that the time we’ve spent together will not go to waste.” 

“No problem. It’s not like we can afford to lose, anyway,” Kakashi laughs dryly. “But I guess if it’s you in a taijutsu match, we actually have a chance at winning.” 

Gai flashes him a bright, toothy grin, and steps off Kakashi’s chest, offering his hand to help Kakashi up. Over his shoulder, he looks at Genma, who for some reason is looking incredibly uncomfortable. 

“My dear teammate! Let’s have dinner! We must replenish our strength properly after training for this long!” 

“You’re telling me,” Genma laughs. “Kakashi and I have at least had breaks– I don’t know what you’re doing, fighting for the entire afternoon and evening, how are you not dead?” 

Gai waves him off as he and Kakashi walk over to where Genma stands. “My dear teammate! I do so much daily physical conditioning that this is barely out of the ordinary! Do not worry about me. Now let’s have a hearty meal!” 

Jiraiya meets them at the door to the inn where they’re all staying and claps Gai on the back. “How was training today? Did you wear them out yet?” 

Gai flashes one of his trademark smiles, booming, “I could never tire out my dear teammate and my eternal rival! They are far too good for me. If anything, they should have tired me out even more! I feel like we’re taking it too easy!”

Genma pipes up, resting his elbow on Gai’s shoulder as the three stride through the large double doors together. “No way,” he looks at Jiraiya pointedly. “We’ve been training all day, and Gai has only taken a break for lunch and water. If anything, we’re going to overwork you.” He ruffles Gai’s hair with the hand already near him, and uses the other to poke his senbon playfully into Gai’s side. “Rest is just as important as work, Gai, you said it yourself!” 

Jiraiya raises his eyebrows, looking at once like the adult he’s supposed to be. “Gai, Genma is right. I know we’ve got a lot riding on this match, but you can’t let that get in the way of you taking care of yourself. If you overwork yourself, you won’t be able to reach your maximum potential when it matters.” 

Kakashi shoves Gai towards the table where he sits down, silently beckoning Jiraiya, Genma, and Gai to sit down. “All this talk of needing to take a break and eat, but no one’s actually eating,” he gripes. “Sit down, Gai.” 

“Hatake, it’s scary how often I find myself agreeing with you now,” Genma slides into a chair next to him. “Maki-oneesan! Can we get a start? We’re practically dying over here!” Genma twists backwards in his hair to call to the bar behind him. 

A boisterous laugh echoes throughout the room, and a willowy young woman enters the room after it. “Sure thing, Genma,” she responds, “What’re you and your posse having tonight? 

“We’re not his posse,” Kakashi groans, at the same time Genma turns excitedly to Gai, saying, “HA! Did you hear that? You guys are my _posse_!” 

Gai’s voice carries over Genma and Kakashi’s bickering about who exactly is the leader of their trio to address Maki instead, saying “Good evening, Maki-san! Thank you so much for your hospitality once again. After a full day of training, I’m certainly starving, and I’m sure all three of us would appreciate your heartiest meal!” He throws his arm around Kakashi’s shoulder and shoots a shit-eating grin he definitely learned from Genma at Jiraiya, “Jiraiya-sama is treating us this week!” 

Jiraiya, for his part, just sighs deeply, and slumps in his chair. “Maki, what will I do with these boys? If only they were as polite as you….” 

Maki scoffs, coming to the table with plates filled with hot food. “Jiraiya-sama, you say that like I’m not practically the same age as these three. And, being shinobi and all, I’m pretty sure I’m mentally younger than even baby Kakashi!” 

Kakashi’s visible eye narrows. “I’m not a baby, I’m the youngest Commanding Officer of Konoha’s assassinations and tactical specialist team.” 

Maki raises a carefully shaped eyebrow. “Have you been on a single date in your life?” 

Kakashi’s stubborn silence amid Genma and Jiraiya’s raucous laughter and Gai’s reassurance said all they needed to. 

As Maki passes Kakashi after finishing placing everyone’s food on the table, she bumps his elbow with her hip and offers him a smile. “We good, Sarge?” 

Despite himself, Kakashi can’t find it in him to even pretend to be mad for the joke. His visible eye crinkles. “We’re good, Maki.” 

Maki ruffles Kakashi’s already messy hair and walks back to the bar to get their second round of drinks ready, seemingly oblivious to the underlying tension at the table. 

The thing about Maki, though, despite being only an eighteen-year-old civilian, is that she is uncannily observant as a consequence of her job. She may not be able to fight as Kakashi, Gai, Genma, and Jiraiya can, but she can easily parse the dynamics between the four shinobi, and _certainly_ identify the steadfast charade of enthusiasm Gai is putting on for the benefit of his companions. As she prepares the food, she keeps a trained ear on the conversation, noting how Gai’s contributions are loud but far and in-between, completely unlike how he behaved the last few nights they had dined in the inn. She notices how he seems to clear his plate faster, drink water quicker, and ask for more fish. 

Later, as the four shinobi head up to bed, she notices Gai bidding Kakashi, Genma, and Jiraiya a good night using the exact same phrasing and inflection as last night. And then, a half-hour after that, she sees Gai silently appear at the bottom of the stairs with new wrappings around his feet and hands. 

He walks across the open lounge and bar area to the front door so silently that Maki is certain she would have had no idea he was even in front of her had she not been actively staring at him at that moment. Gai lightly shakes his wrists and rotates his ankles, warming himself up for what looks like another grueling independent training session. 

He jumps lightly on the balls of his feet, wipes his eyes, and almost gets his hand onto the doorknob when Maki decides to interject. 

“Gai! Wait up!”

He jolts, just barely. If someone weren’t paying Gai their rapt, undivided attention, they would’ve missed it. But Maki’s untrained eyes have nowhere else to look, so she does notice, and consequently internally raises a brow. Not noticing her there, with an inability to mask chakra? Something has to be weighing on his mind. 

Gai rallies quickly. He turns around, a brilliant smile plastered on his face, and cheerfully whispers, “Maki-san!! How nice to see you again so soon! Are you closing up shop?” 

“Nevermind what I’m doing, why are you going back out? Don’t you need to rest up before tomorrow? Rest is really important, you know!” 

Gai looks at her a moment longer, eyes blank, and then averts his gaze. “Maki-san… Thank you for your concern. I just don’t think I’ve trained enough, at this point, and I’m really wired up, you know?” He chuckles, uncharacteristically self-conscious. “If I’ve got the energy anyway, I may as well use it to train more. I’m only a chunin, and Tsunade-hime is a legendary sannin. I can’t afford to make any mistakes, or my precious teammates and I will have to return to Konoha without Naruto having someone to raise him. I can’t do that to Minato-sensei’s baby, I can’t do that to _Kakashi_. I can’t fail this, I can’t fail him…. I won’t let it happen.” 

Maki grasps the hand Gai has clenched tightly around the doorknob. “Gai, listen to me. You’re young, and you're obviously physically fit, and you have a lot of spirit. But you’re running yourself ragged. You think I don’t see those bags under your eyes? You won’t be able to fight if you crash– if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll fail Naruto, you’ll fail Kakashi and Genma too. You can’t want that!” 

“Maki-san…” Gai rubs his eyes with his free hand. “You are right… I know you are. I know.” He raises his head, finally meeting Maki’s eyes head-on. And despite being just as tall as Maki, and having the well-trained physique of a taijutsu specialist, Gai looks tiny and helpless. “But it would be shameful of me to just… sit here and do nothing. My eternal rival, my dear teammate, and even Jiraiya-sama… They all excel in their own ways. They are all ranked higher than me, have reputations to their name despite their youth, and I’m just lucky to be associated with them and to have the legacy of my father. I know I am the one who aspires to be the most youthful, and most positive, and to always have energy, but I must admit that right now, it’s very hard to feel that way. And to be quite honest, Maki-san, I’m almost completely certain the only reason Tsunade-hime made her support of Naruto and return to Konoha conditional on a match between the two of us is that she knows I am the weakest link. I don’t have the sharingan and innate ability of Kakashi, nor do I have the tactical experience and high rank of Genma. The only reason I’m even here is that I’m Kakashi and Genma’s _friend_. But I cannot win a taijutsu match against the Slug Princess on the basis of proximity, Maki-san. Do you see where I’m coming from? If I lose this match with Tsunade-hime, it will certainly be because I’m _me_. And I cannot accept that. I need to be at one hundred and ten percent, all the time. Especially now. So _please_ , Maki-san…” Gai allows his chakra to spike on his hand, stinging Maki and forcing her to yank her hand off him. “Let me go.”

Gai pushes the door open and strides through purposefully, stretching his shoulders and arms as his retreating back fades into the dark forest. 

Sighing, Maki closes the door, walks back to the bar, and pillows her head on her arms. 

“Well, fuck.”

* * *

Shizune grimaces as she wakes up, shielding her eyes from the blinding light that filters directly onto her twin bed. As she sits up, she hazards a glance at Tsunade in the bed next to her, still out cold from yet another night of drinking and insisting adamantly that she’s only been helping feed, clothe, and bathe Naruto out of necessity (and that Shizune is completely fabricating any instance of Tsunade looking at Naruto with any shred of happiness or affection). 

She gets ready for the day, not bothering to stay quiet for Tsunade, who definitely won’t be up for another couple of hours. Out of habit, she grabs the tiger balm from her vanity as she leaves to go check on the shinobi across the hall. 

She starts at Gai’s door, knowing that he probably only came back from his “super secret” extra training about an hour ago and is probably going through his extensive stretching routine. Shizune knocks quietly, thrice, a rehearsed knock so Gai can quickly and silently open the door to admit Shizune in without alerting Kakashi and Genma. 

But unlike every other day this week where Shizune has snuck into Gai’s room in the early hours of the morning to help him heal his muscles, the door doesn’t open for her. Shizune doesn’t hear the almost indiscernible sound of shuffling on the other side of the door. And when she checks, she doesn’t sense Gai’s chakra signature beyond the door. 

Shizune frantically opens the door and finds an unoccupied room. Apart from the spare weights in the corner and the wrinkles on the bedsheet, the room looked like it had never been used at all. She walks over to the bed, cradling the tiger balm in her hands, and tries to imagine the way it fits over Gai’s form, allowing Shizune to heal his muscles and skin from overuse, picturing the transfer of chakra in her mind, trying to find where Gai’s chakra match is. 

After a moment of quiet concentration, her eyes shoot open, and Shizune looks out of the window towards the training grounds. 

“Ah, _shit._ ”

In the midst of the forest, in a small clearing made only by leveling and moving several trees, Gai lies face down on the ground, limbs akimbo. The three bare trunks in front of him are beaten in very specific, targeted areas, with varying degrees of impact– _probably to practice integrating chakra in his taijutsu_ , Shizune thinks– and the surrounding trees that shield the area from view have taken hits too. Branches are bent, falling strangely, and the surrounding trunks have clearly been subjected to blunt force. 

Shizune immediately bends down and places a hand on Gai’s forehead, pushing his bangs out of his face and healing him. Almost instantaneously, Gai’s eyelids flutter open, and he slowly turns his head to look directly at Shizune, who kneels at his side, her other hand rapidly healing Gai’s broken skin and muscles as much as she can. 

“Shizune-san…. Why are you here?” 

Not even pausing her movements, twisting Gai’s limbs this way and that to make sure her healing chakra is penetrating fully, Shizune quips, “When I went to give you your tiger balm this morning, I didn’t find you in your room. Imagine if I _hadn’t_ come here, and Tsunade found out you passed out the morning of your taijutsu match.” 

Gai averts his gaze. “Tsunade-hime would taunt me with that, sure, but if you continue to heal me– which I, as always, am so grateful for– then it won’t really make a difference, right? Actually, could you maybe tell her? That would _so_ guilt her into helping us, right? Yosh!” Gai moves to sit up, but Shizune immediately forces him back down. 

“You really are just as bad as Kakashi. Fine, how would you like it if I told Genma that you haven’t been taking care of yourself and that you’ve been training during your normal sleep hours?”

At this, Gai immediately pales. “Shizune-san, you _wouldn’t_ …” 

She smirks. “That’s what I thought. Now sit still so I can get you up and back into your room before anyone finds you.” 

“I don’t really think that me getting up is a good idea, Shizune-san,” 

“What? Why not? I just healed you!”

“Well, Shizune-san, you see… I have been practicing infusing chakra into my offense and defense at the same time, in order to be able to fortify my chances of winning against Tsunade-hime, however–”

“– but you ended up going completely overboard because you wanted to make sure you had the highest chance of success before the final match today. Right. Got it,” Shizune shakes her head. “I swear, you lot are going to be the death of me,” she adds under her breath. She puts one hand around Gai’s shoulders and another around the back of his knees, and effortlessly carries him, bridal-style, towards the end of the clearing under a shaded patch of trees. “I’m going to give you one final look over, and then I’m going to go back to the inn and get you some food and water. Staying hydrated and energized is the biggest part of chakra exhaustion, not just overworking yourself, so you are going to _sit here_ , so help me, and you will REST. Do you understand me?” 

From where he lies near Shizune’s lap, Gai flashes one of his trademark toothy grins and shoots her a remarkably enthusiastic thumbs-up. “Yosh! I will rest here as recommended, Shizune-san! Besides, I really don’t think I have the strength to get up right now without exerting myself, anyway. Thank you very much for healing me!” Gai allows his hand to flop gracelessly down to his side, and he shuts his eyes, allowing himself to rest and his chakra to replenish. 

Smiling wryly, Shizune gets up and forms the hand sign for a shunshin, disappearing before Gai’s eyes finish closing. 

* * *

At the inn, Tsunade and Jiraiya sprawl inelegantly across their chairs and the table that separates them. To any passive observer, and honestly, to anyone looking at them from farther than two feet away, two-thirds of Konoha’s legendary Sannin seem to be in a drunken stupor. But if you looked closer, and saw that Tsunade’s flushed cheeks and glassy eyes were still keenly following every flailing movement and slurred babble out of Jiraiya’s mouth, saw that Jiraiya’s hands seemed to hit the table and silverware much too often for someone who still had the dexterity to continuously drink sake without spilling any of it, you’d see that the Slug Princess and the Toad Sage were doing anything but lazing around. 

“ _Three months. Clan meeting. Sensei Hokage again._ ” Jiraiya inelegantly raps against the table, guffawing at something Tsunade said to cover up the rhythmic tapping. 

“ _Who called meeting? Why not Shikaku?_ ” 

“ _Danzo. He said Sensei._ ” 

Tsunade’s eyebrows shoot up. “ _Danzo?_ ” 

Jiraiya nods. Out loud, he says, “I’m telling you, her tits were HUGE!” And makes a rather rude gesture. What his hands say as they clatter across the sticky table, however, is, “ _K_ _akashi checked files. Not good for Naruto or Konoha. Need new leadership or screwed._ ” He reaches to take another sip of sake and realizes the bottle is empty, and for once, Tsunade relents, pushing her own cup towards him. 

“Well. This really isn’t where I expected things to go after Namikaze. Looks like things are really in the shitter, huh?” She huffs. “You doing okay, Toadie? You’re looking a little sluggish.” 

And right on cue, Jiraiya slumps down onto the table. 

“Jiraiya? Toadie?” Tsunade leans across the table and jostles his shoulders roughly, but he doesn’t stir, only grunting and shifting away from her grasp in his sleep. 

Immediately, she waves Maki down. “Can you make sure he doesn’t slobber all over your table? He’ll probably be out for a while.” She pauses, and then looks at the table assessingly. “You should also probably use gloves when you touch my sake cup, too. You’re a civilian, and I don’t want the sedative accidentally interfering with your bloodstream when you’re ill-equipped to deal with it.” 

Maki arches a brow. “Sedative?” 

“I was getting tired of waiting for him to fall asleep. The sun came up far too long ago for this to be considered socially acceptable anymore, and I have shit to do. You’ll take care of things here?” 

Maki heaves a sigh. “And you don’t want me to tell him you drugged him, right?” 

Tsunade’s face splits into a fox-like grin and pats Maki’s cheek, her pale skin and cherry-red nails against Maki’s deep olive. “That’s my girl.” 

And silently, grimacing against the bright sun outside and shielding her eyes, Tsunade makes her way to the training grounds across the forest. 

At first, the clearing seems bare, the sun shedding light on the morning dew and creating a warm, tranquil area in the surrounding forest. But a bit beyond where the sun’s rays dyed the fresh grass, Tsunade notices a gathering of chakra much too large to belong to any animal, or even civilian. Though still fighting off a wicked hangover, she braces herself, starts to increase the flow of chakra to her limbs, and strides over to the source. 

_What if those ROOT shinobi came earlier than the allotted time? If this is only one easily detectable chakra, am I walking into a trap? How many more shinobi are there? I’m still hungover, can I take them all at the same time? Where the fuck is Shizune?_

But as soon as Tsunade reaches the source, she stops abruptly. 

“G _ai_?” 

The chunin lies spread-eagled on the ground, one arm thrown over his eyes. His bluntly-cropped hair is a mess, strands sticking to his forehead and creating a small halo around his face where he rests his head. He looks utterly motionless; the only things distinguishing him from the grass around him his bright orange legwarmers and matted hair. 

_Is he even breathing…?_ Tsunade leans over him and extends a hand over his torso, performing a cursory check on Gai’s chakra pathways to make sure his body is still working as it should be. Mercifully, upon closer inspection, she sees Gai’s chest rise and fall, his chakra pathways completely open, though the energy flowing through them is severely depleted. _Chakra exhaustion in less than five hours doing just taijutsu, this boy…_

Gingerly, Tsunade picks up Gai’s hand from where it was nestled in the grass and cradles it in her palms, turning it this way and that. Gai still does not stir. The bandages around his forearms are well worn and coming loose now, doing almost nothing to hide the bruising and crusted blood around the knuckles. His palms are red and calloused from holding punches true to form for so long, torn skin aching for relief– and when Tsunade’s palms begin to emit a soft green glow, she sees that Gai has suffered internal bleeding from the incessant blunt impact, that his chakra pathways have been blown open or torn in some areas, a testament to his unrelenting drive (and honestly, clear desperation), despite his lack of formal training in chakra-enhanced taijutsu. As Gai’s hand begins to finish healing and Tsunade quietly moves to heal the other still resting on his forehead, the pit that had been forming in Tsunade’s stomach begins to deepen and form a knot. There were bruises _everywhere_ ; no blood was actively flowing, thank god, but the damage to Gai’s body was so bad _Maki_ could’ve taken a singular look at him and confined him to bed rest for at least a week. 

_What the hell was I thinking? He’s a_ child _… Maybe train like a_ normal person _? Ugh!_

Well, trust the fifteen-year-old chunin who challenged a legendary sannin to a taijutsu match to not know when to back down. 

Tsunade moves efficiently down his torso and towards his legs, where it seems the majority of the injuries lay. _Ankle weights? Does he wear these every day?_ Instinctively, Tsunade quickly runs through all of her limited interactions with Gai from the past week, remembering his ever-present obnoxious orange leg warmers, his surefire kicks, the strength of his steps, his lengthy stride. This time, Tsunade actually looks heavenward, heaving a deep, body-wracking sigh. _I bet Dan and Nawaki are_ really _impressed with my behavior this past week_. 

She sits there for a few seconds, ensuring Gai is as physically fit as he can possibly be, eventually comes to a decision, flashes a few hand signs, and slams her hand onto the grass in front of her. 

“Tsunade-hime,” Katsuyu greets, “It’s lovely to see you again. How may I be of assistance?” 

Tsunade glances around the clearing once to make doubly sure they’re alone, and says, “I think Shizune will come soon to get Gai. When Gai wakes up, tell him he’s on bedrest for chakra exhaustion and that the taijutsu match is off. Tell Shizune I’ve gone to a meeting, she’ll know what I mean. And if Jiraiya comes crying like he always does, tell him I’m sorry, but I had some business to take care of. Can you do that for me?” 

Katsuyu nods once, sharply, and splits into three smaller slugs. “We’re on it, Tsunade-hime. Please take care of whatever it is you need to do, and don’t worry about things on this end.” 

“Thank you, Katsuyu,” she smiles wanly as she gets up and makes to leave the clearing. 

“Tsunade-hime!” 

She turns around, brow arched. “Yes?” 

The slug now resting on Gai’s knee lifts her head a little higher to draw attention to herself. “Don’t be rash.”

* * *

“You know, for a specially-trained tactical corps, you guys really run late sometimes.” 

Tsunade stands in the middle of the field she was in only a week ago on the other side of the village, an area she only remembered tracking the faint traces of her own chakra that remained after her encounter with ROOT prior. 

Restless, Tsunade begins to scan the area around her, tapping into each plant, insect, and rodent’s naturally emitting chakra to see if she could find any gaps where a shinobi would conceal their presence. But after one and a half rounds, she found nothing. 

_Maybe they really are late. Danzo really has to expand ROOT training from assassination and trauma suppression to basic manners. Someone was supposed to be here 5 minutes ago._

But with the last tap of her sandal against the dirt as she grumbled to herself, she felt it: a tiny, almost imperceptible inorganic overlap in chakra, 15 meters from where she stands in the center of the clearing, sheltered quite effectively within the tree’s foliage and birds nest nearby. Consciously choosing to look in their direction, Tsunade examines that fold thoroughly, learning exactly which member of Danzo’s underground force has been preparing to ambush her. 

Still staring steadfastly ahead, she calls, “Boar-san! In the tree 15 meters away from me to my left! Please come out, and _do_ bring your friends with you. I don’t know if your master briefed you adequately on me, but I am not known for my patience and understanding. _Especially in instances of treason_.” 

Instantaneously, she felt a strong gust of wind as three ROOT shinobi shunshined in front of her. _Ah_. _Treason always does it, doesn’t it?_

“Hello, Boar-san, Crow-san, and Fox-san. I really wish I didn’t have to see your pathetic little faces after our last meeting, but here we are. Do you have anything additional you need to brief me on?” 

Silence. Tsunade massages the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. 

“Nothing? No further information about Danzo and Orochimaru’s experiments? Has he elected to give me any further detail?” 

The ROOT shinobi wearing a Fox mask steps forward. “Danzo-sama ordered that we specify that, while Danzo-sama cannot speak for Orochimaru-sama’s intentions, he is certain his own research is explicitly for the good of Konoha.” 

“If it’s for the good of Konoha, why can’t he just tell me straight out? And why attempt to coerce me into participating in his and Orochimaru’s little science project?”

Again, no response. Tsunade takes a deep breath, and prays for unlimited sake tonight back at the inn. 

“Are you not responding because you don’t know, because you’ve been ordered not to respond to me, or because you know if you respond to me, the seal will activate?” 

No response. 

_Tobi-ojichan, I wish I had more of your brother’s genes right now_. 

“Okay. I am going to ask simple yes or no questions, and if the answer is yes, you will nod. If it isn’t, you will shake your head. I recognize all of your masks from the last time I had the displeasure of seeing your miserable asses, so I trust you will comply as best you can with me. Have I made myself clear?” 

Three sharp nods. _Very good._

“Is Sensei aware of the research that Danzo and Orochimaru are doing?” A shake. 

“Is Sensei aware that Danzo has been communicating with Orochimaru at all?” Shake. 

“Will any civilians or shinobi be harmed in the process of this research?” Two shakes and one nod. Tsunade zeros in on Boar immediately. “What do you mean, yes?” No response. Tsunade does a rapid-fire of all the possibilities. “Will civilians be safe, but shinobi be harmed?” Shake. “Are Danzo and Orochimaru using civilians as test subjects?” A shake. “Will the people harmed be people not considered undesirable by the village?” A nod. “Will anybody _die_?” A shake. 

Tsunade thinks of the grotesque, asymmetrical seal painted forever on skin she saw only under a dim street lamp and the pale moonlight. She thinks of the body attached to it, of that body’s tiny, fat fingers and yellow hair. She steadies herself. “Does this research involve the Kyuubi’s container?”

Three nods. 

The Slug Princess grimaces. “Danzo wants me to aid in Tailed Beast research outside of Sensei’s purview? Who the hell does he think I am? What could I possibly get out of this?” 

There is a pause, and Tsunade immediately latches onto it. “What is Danzo offering me that would make me commit treason?”

And finally, Fox decides to speak up. Stepping forward, they draw a scroll from their pouch. “I have no idea what’s in this, but Danzo-sama told you to give you this if you asked that question.”

Tsunade immediately snatches the scroll, tearing the seal open and letting the parchment unfurl from her hands. Her eyes scan the near-illegible code, stopping halfway down the page. She looks up. “Konoha ANBU code hasn’t changed in the last 20 years, has it?” Three shakes. “That can’t possibly be… No…” 

She takes in the words again, and again, and again. They don’t seem to be any more real than they were when she thought she’d made a mistake. Fighting bile in her throat, she drops the scroll to the ground. 

“Orochimaru has the edo tensei?” 

And Tsunade can’t see any of their faces, but she has excellent chakra control, so she detects the plain shock from the sharp spike in all three ROOT shinobi’s chakra levels immediately. 

For the second time today, Tsunade thinks of Dan and Nawaki. Of the teasing lilt of Dan’s laughter. Of Nawaki’s crooked, toothy grin. Of the necklace hanging around her neck right now that they had both worn. She thinks of being able to hug them again, to feel the force of their affection for her again. 

Senju Tsunade is the granddaughter of Uzumaki Mito and Senju Hashirama, but she is not free from the same emotions all other humans have. 

Tsunade rolls up the scroll briskly. 

Boar tilts his head up. “I trust that’s a yes?” 

“Ye–”

“TSUNADE-HIME!” 

Tsunade and the three ROOT shinobi whip around towards the source of the yell, only to find Genma running towards them, senbon in hand. 

Instinctively, Tsunade steps to place herself in between Genma and ROOT. “Shiranui? How did you find me? More importantly, _what the fuck are you doing here?_ ” 

“Tsunade-hime, when Gai woke up and Shizune said you’d gone to a meeting, we all came to find you. _You can’t do this_ , Tsunade-hime, please, I heard the ending of whatever’s going on here and you can’t do it, please, I’m begging you!” 

She scoffs. “What does any of that have to do with me? I saw your friend passed out in a clearing this morning, there was no way he was going to win against me anyway. Can’t you babies leave me alone? I was ready for the match, he wasn’t.” Tsunade turns back around to face ROOT. 

“I don’t care about your and Gai’s stupid bet! We can talk about how irresponsible of you that was later. What I _do_ care about is Konoha!” 

“Don’t you _understand_? I _left_ Konoha! I could give a damn about how badly Sensei is running things over there right now!” 

Genma switches gears. “Do you not give a damn about Naruto then? These bastards are gonna destroy him!” 

Now, _this_ grabs Tsunade’s attention. She takes a step towards Genma. “I thought you only heard the latter part of our conversation?” 

“I didn’t need to hear anything! I already know what they’re doing!” 

Tsunade rolls her eyes. “ _You_ know more than the actual ROOT shinobi in front of me? Please. Shiranui, if you’re going to try to convince me to come back with you, you could at least try to do a better job than _lie_ about it.”

“Tsunade-hime, I’m not one to disrespect my superiors, but do you honestly think we would have traveled all the way here to find you if you weren’t our literal last option? What is going to get that through your thick skull?” 

A gust of wind rips through the clearing as Tsunade’s blonde crown begins to flare around her face. “Boy, you will do well to respect me. I can put a baby like you on permanent rest without even lifting a finger. You _will_ apologize, or you can forget all about that little baby, because by the time I’m done with you, my fist will be–” 

But before she finishes, a flash appears in front of Genma, lifting a cloud of dirt and dust obscuring Tsunade’s vision and forcing her to lower her fist and her chakra levels. 

After it clears, between Genma and Tsunade stands Kakashi, an exhausted but recovered Gai on his back. Arrogantly turning his back to Tsunade and the three ROOT shinobi, Kakashi gently places Gai on the ground next to Genma. 

“Can you make sure he doesn’t do anything rash? Senbon him, if you have to.” Genma nods, and Kakashi turns back around slowly, hands shoved into his pockets. “Right,” he drolls, a perfect imitation of Pakkun, “I heard you were in need of certain evidence?” 

“I wouldn’t call it evidence so much as proof that you two idiots aren’t delusional. I don’t care what your reputations are, you two having access to information actual ROOT shinobi don’t is just about as likely as me actually coming back with you and taking the hat.” 

Kakashi’s visible eye narrows, a condescending smile forming under his mask. “You should probably start packing your bags then, Godaime.” Tsunade opens her mouth to retort, but before she can say anything Kakashi cuts her off again. “If you remember, I’m the Commanding Officer of ANBU. I have the highest possible clearance apart from the Hokage, and anything I _don’t_ have clearance to, documents that, say, _are treasonous_ , I have every right to find those documents and learn the contents. So I did. Let me show you.” 

“Show me?” Tsunade arches a brow. “How the hell are you going to show me the contents of those scrolls which supposedly haven’t left Danzo’s office? In front of ROOT, no less? Are you stupid?” 

Kakashi rolls his visible eye and moves to grab his mask. “Right, let’s get this over and done with. Look at me.” 

“Look at you?” 

Suddenly, Tsunade remembers her drunken conversation with Jiraiya from the night before. But it's too late.Kakashi lifts the fabric, and all Tsunade sees before she is plunged into darkness is the slow turning of three tomoes in the scarlet flash of his exposed eye. 

And once she finds her bearings in the darkness, alone with Kakashi in her sharingan, months and months suspended in one second, he shows her everything in bits and pieces. The aftermath of the Yondaime’s death, Jiraiya shirking his duties as godfather, the clan head meeting with Danzo and the elders, Naruto being abandoned by the orphanage, the Sandaime’s inaction, and then, finally, that day Kakashi spent in the recesses of the Hokage tower, hunched in a corner cupping his right eye so blood didn’t get on the manuscripts, fighting down the bile rising in his throat and memorizing letter after letter after letter. 

She reads the files along with Kakashi from last month, feels herself choking where he chokes, disgusted and growing more and more furious by the moment. The clinical, sadistic language burns itself into her brain. _Harness the Kyuubi. Control the Kyuubi. Unleash the Kyuubi._

And in the hallucination, Kakashi looks up from the last manuscript, meeting her gaze directly. “Do you get it now?” 

The ground crumbles underneath her. Tsunade stumbles onto the ground, heaving, as she finds her bearings. Kakashi haphazardly swipes under his bleeding eye and covers it as he moves to squat in front of her. 

“You can’t help them. Whether you come back to Konoha with us isn’t our decision, even though I’m sure Naruto and Gai will be pretty upset about it. But if you give a damn about him and the future of our village, you’ll say no. You’re the granddaughter of the Shodaime. Think about what he would do.” 

Tsunade doesn’t respond. Instead, she gets gracelessly up and turns to face the ROOT shinobi. 

Boar, Fox, and Crow make no move to begin talking, so Tsunade does instead. She widens her stance, her heels grounding into the dirt, and lowers herself so her knees are bent. “I’m sure you remember what happened last time. I can end this quickly, or you can meet your maker.” 

The three shinobi offer no response. They fly silently towards Tsunade, kunai drawn. 

_Well_ , Tsunade smirks, _these idiots clearly never learn_. 

* * *

The fight, if you could even call it that, was quick and effortless. Even though Boar had slashed his wrist and forced Tsunade to see blood, and when they neatly countered Tsunade’s earth dome jutsu, they clearly had no experience handling Kakashi’s amateur sharingan. Within minutes, the three ROOT shinobi were paralyzed and placed in body-storage scrolls.

But before Tsunade could catch her breath, Gai hobbles towards her. 

“Tsunade-hime,” he starts, “I am feeling leagues better than I did this morning. Thank you for healing me even though I am your opponent?” 

She offers Gai a bemused smile. “ _Am_? Boy, I _was_ your opponent. You’re in no state to fight. The fight is over. But you’re welcome.” 

Genma opens his mouth to offer a retort, but Gai cuts him off. “Tsunade-hime, please. We had an agreement. We need this chance. You’re our only hope. _Naruto’s_ only hope. _Konoha’s_ only hope.”

Tsunade angrily stomps her foot. “I am _tired_ of hearing all of his nonsense about Konoha and Naruto! I truly am sorry about the Yondaime’s death and everything happening because of it, but I left the village _precisely_ so I’d never had to deal with this kind of bullshit again! Leave me out of this. I am not the only woman in Konoha, and Namikaze was popular from what I remember, so I’m absolutely sure you guys can figure out someone to take care of the baby. And as for Hokage, I’m sure you can make do with Sensei.” 

And Gai, fired up despite barely being able to stand on his legs, spits, “Your grandfather and his brother would be disappointed with the traitor to your village you’ve become.” 

The clearing’s temperature drops ten degrees immediately. Genma and Kakashi stare at Gai, eyes wide. And for his part, Gai looks gobsmacked that those words exited his mouth in the first place, but makes no move to correct himself. Meanwhile, the scent of maple syrup gets steadily stronger and stronger as the ground beneath Tsunade’s feet begins to crack. In less than a second, she’s only a foot away from Gai, fist raised–

In that millisecond of time, Gai considers his options. He can try to dodge and send Tsunade’s punch into the ground, but that might make her angrier. He can try and block her, but her fist is too close for him to use chakra to block the hit so the bones in his arm would shatter, and there’s a chance Tsunade might not heal him. So Gai takes the safest bet. 

He distributes his weight evenly between his legs, clenches his fists, and braces himself for the impact. 

–as Tsunade’s chakra-enhanced punch collides with Gai’s jaw, the bones crack audibly and Gai has to bite his tongue to keep from screaming in pain. It is only from the exceeding amount of training he’s done that he is able to remain standing after the first wave of pain subsides and he opens his eyes to a flabbergasted Tsunade. 

“ _Block!!! Why didn’t you block!_ ” 

Through his dislocated jaw, profusely bleeding nose, and searing pain, Gai manages to choke out, “Can’t break arms. Need to carry Naruto back to Konoha.” 

If it’s possible, Tsunade’s eyes widen even more. “You… did this on purpose?” 

Gai nods shortly.

Kakashi moves forward into Gai’s space. “C’mon,” he says softly, “Let’s get you back to the inn. Maybe Maki can bandage you up. I know some basic healing.” Gai nods again minutely, and Kakashi maneuvers Gai so he rests on his back again. Genma glances at Tsunade one last time, picks up Gai’s bags, and follows the other two shinobi. 

But something isn’t sitting right with Tsunade. Maybe it was the ROOT shinobi not knowing Danzo and Orochimaru’s research themselves, maybe it was that she would have agreed to help them without even knowing the details, maybe it was that she couldn’t bear to imagine Naruto’s chubby face in any pain, despite only knowing him for a week. Maybe it was Genma interfering despite not knowing her at all, or Kakashi running his eye to the ground to show her the truth and protect her. Or maybe it was Gai _again_ , taking the full impact of her punch directly to the face under the assumption that he would not get healed, just to protect the son of a teacher he never studied under, a Hokage only in power for less than a year. 

So she considers Gai’s words carefully. Would the Shodaime and Nidaime be proud of her for walking away? Would they want her to help? And what about Ojii-chan and Tobi-ojichan? What would they think? As leaders and as relatives? Would she be a disappointment to them?

Once she thinks about it, the answer is obvious. 

“Wait!”

* * *

 _Well_ , Sarutobi Hiruzen thinks, _I certainly didn’t expect them to actually do it._

Before his desk stands the original Tsunade search party, Naruto, Shizune, Tonton, and the Slug Princess herself, in varying states of physical disarray. Tsunade and Shizune, as usual, look as if they’re ready to step out for the night. Jiraiya looks like he is nursing a hangover despite the fact that Konoha was heading into the late afternoon, and Kakashi, Genma, and Gai all look exactly as they should: like they’ve been traveling for the past week straight. 

Behind his desk stand Koharu, Homura and Danzo, flanking his desk and staring down the party below him. There is no love lost between the two groups. To be quite frank, Hiruzen feels too damn old for this. _Why couldn’t Shikaku have taken the hat again?_

He takes a long puff from his pipe, and decides to mentally designate Jiraiya as the leader of the group. “Well,” he says, “Mission status?” 

Jiraiya takes the cue. “Sensei, we’ve got Tsunade back to help raise Naruto. I feel like that’s all there is for the mission update.” 

Almost imperceptibly, Tsunade, Kakashi, Gai, and Genma tense up. _Almost_ imperceptibly. Hiruzen may be old, but he is still the Hokage. “For the mission update? What else could there be?” 

Jiraiya hesitates, glancing up from the Sandaime to the Elders. But it needn’t have mattered, because Kakashi, in all his apathetic, blunt glory, fills in for him. 

“We are nominating that Tsunade takes the hat from you and become the Godaime Hokage.” 

The three elders make predictable noises of indignation. Hiruzen, in turn, sits back and takes another long puff. _This should be interesting._

“Jiraiya, how dare you insult your own sensei like this? Your own _Hokage_? This is an act of treason!” Koharu sputters. 

“You’re already more loyal to Mount Myoboku than this village. We have given you privileges not afforded to some full citizens of his village, and _this_ is how you repay us? We should brand you a missing-nin! Sarutobi-sama, take his hitai-ate.” Homura reaches past the Hokage’s chair and slams his hand on the table. 

No one flinches. This was an expected conflict. What isn’t expected, however, is the Sandaime leaning forward, disposing himself of his hat, and saying, “Justify this.” 

Genma ever so eloquently, says, “What?” 

The Sandaime places his pipe down and doesn’t respond for a few long moments. When he does, it is to the shock of those standing before him, and to the chagrin of those standing behind. 

“I am going to set aside that you consciously did not tell me the full truth of your mission when you requested clearance to go find Tsunade, because regardless, I am aware that Naruto needs a guardian, and she is already here. I will also say that, no matter what happens after this, I am _old_. The hat shouldn’t belong to me, not since Minato took over.” He takes a deep breath and steeples his fingers on top of his desk, peering at the group from right above them. “I am not unopposed to this. But I can’t just give the hat over without proper justification, even if it is Tsunade. How do you know the village will approve of this choice?” 

“This would be unwise, Sandaime-sama,” Danzo interjects quietly. “The council has already nominated you. We can’t call another clan meeting so soon after the last one, and there is no way this group of traitors can just assume that enough clan heads will agree to this nonsense.” 

“Actually, I’m pretty sure they would,” Kakashi says. “The only reason people were okay with the Sandaime was that there was literally no other option that wouldn’t put the stability of the village in direct jeopardy– no, I’m right, you guys are just stupid. Listen. Nara Shikaku was the first choice, but he’s the Jounin Commander. All the other clan heads are the head of important divisions that are in need of consistency, so can’t transfer leadership. Nobody wants Toad Fucker here to be Hokage– don’t look at me like that, old man, that’s the name you deserve– because, as we’ve said, his loyalty remains primarily to Mount Myoboku, not here. Orochimaru is MIA, and I really don’t think anyone would trust him to lead the village, what with his,” Kakashi flicks his eyes up to Danzo, “unknown current exploits. The last remaining option is Tsunade-hime, who is ridiculously qualified. Her ability is uncontested and she has the Will of Fire running through her. She’s practical and passionate, she has experience as a front-line shinobi and has completely revolutionized the med-nin’s role in mission squads. Most importantly, she hasn’t been involved with Konoha for a long time, and will be a fresh set of eyes, _immune to any political backseat drivers_.” With this, Kakashi makes direct eye contact with all three elders in turn. “Although, having said that, I understand now why you’d be hesitant to let the Sandaime give Tsunade-hime the hat.” His visible eye crinkles condescendingly, a blatant challenge. 

Danzo’s face remains carefully neutral, though his hands grip impossibly tighter on his cane. Tsunade, in turn, looks highly uncomfortable having all of her achievements aired out by Kakashi, of all people.

“Well, what do you know,” the Sandaime smiles. “The Copy Cat Ninja can speak positively about someone, after all.” 

Unfazed, Kakashi shrugs. “Not really. It’s just the truth. She’s the best we’ve got, and you know it. Frankly, passing up this opportunity would be the worst decision you’ve made since retaking the hat, and that’s saying a lot.” 

“How dare you speak so impertinently to your Hokage that way! We can ban you from the village!” 

“No, you old hag, you can’t. I’m the CO of ANBU, I’m only 14, and I’m the only non-Uchiha with the sharingan, so I’m incredibly valuable to you as a weapon. If you were to make me a nuke-nin, I could just as well join another village. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to have my loyalty. And if I leave, I’m taking Naruto and Gai with me, so you’d be without the village jinchuuriki and the only shinobi with the potential to open the Eight Chakra Gates. Don’t be stupid. We clearly have the upper hand here.” 

Tsunade whistles lowly. “Wow, kid, I thought you were too young and hot-headed for diplomacy.” 

“Yeah, well, he’s always managed to surprise us in the more crucial moments. Huge pain in the ass, personally,” Genma smirks. 

“Don’t I know it, lord,” Jiraiya shakes his head. “So, what about it, Sensei? You gonna let these geezers pressure you, or are you gonna do exactly what everyone knows you want to and take a well-deserved break?” 

The Sandaime sighs, taking another long drag from his pipe. _I never thought I would end up resigning because of some stubborn teenagers and my former students, but here we are._

Danzo grimaces. “Hokage-sama, may we have a moment?” 

“No. You may not.”

Danzo looks up from where he’s leaning in to speak in the Sandaime’s ear. “Why ever not? Don’t be presumptuous, Senju.” 

Tsunade raises herself to her full height. “As it stands right now, Sensei agrees with me becoming Hokage. There is no way I wouldn’t have both the clan head and civilian approval, the Hatake kid just explained that. That means I practically have the hat already. I’ve been gone for a few years, but I know that you guys are advisors. _Only_ advisors. You have no individual political power. You can try and persuade the Hokage however you please, but if he chooses to go against that recommendation, you have no further power. I _also_ ,” she pauses, “am quite aware that there are certain reasons why you’d prefer having the Hokage be easily persuaded. I am sure you also know that once I become the Godaime Hokage, you will lose a significant amount of power. That leads me to believe that you would use this private conversation to manipulate Sensei into not giving up the position, even though you know it’s the right thing to do. So no. You will not speak to him alone.” 

Danzo looks like he’s been forced to swallow something particularly sour. 

“Can you please not talk about me like I’m not right here?” The Sandaime sighs. “I’m still Hokage, you know.” 

Tsunade drums her cherry nails against the arm it’s crossed over. “Then act like it, Sensei.” 

_I really_ am _getting too old for this. Tobirama-sensei, give me strength._

Carefully, Sarutobi Hiruzen folds his hands in front of him, looking at the hat that lies on the desk in front of them. “I don’t know how this has befallen me, of all people.” He sighs for what must be the hundredth time during this conversation. “We’ll have to arrange a ceremony… Does the village currently have the funds?” 

On the other side of the desk, everyone brightens. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” Tsunade smirks. “Now, does anybody have sake?”

* * *

“Excuse us, Hokage-sama!” 

Tsunade turns around from the sink, surprised. “Who are you calling Hokage-sama? I haven’t been formally inaugurated yet, and that title makes me feel old. Also, how the hell did you know where I live?”

Kakashi rolls his visible eye as he removes his sandals and takes a sleeping Naruto from Gai. “Alright, Slug Princess. Also, this is the Senju compound. It’s not like you had time in the last three hours to buy a completely new apartment, and you can’t exactly be couch-hopping right now. Where else could you possibly be?” 

Tsunade laughs, an unrestrained, bright sound when she’s not winning a gamble. “Alright, brat, I’ll take that. Do you have the baby?” 

“Yosh! Minato-sensei’s precious child is right here, Tsunade-hime! Thank you again for place him in your care!” Gai bows a full ninety degrees at the waist. 

“Stop this nonsense formality, both of you! Honestly, I’m surprised the kid hasn’t snuffed it already, given the two of you are the ones in charge of him.” 

“Hey! Gai is an incredibly doting caretaker! He dedicated a lot of time and energy into making sure Naruto was taken care of properly! He even yelled at the Sandaime for him! Don’t spout bullshit!” 

“And my eternal rival has dedicated his life to protecting Minato-sensei’s legacy! To suggest that he didn’t raise Minato-sensei’s precious child properly is an insult to Kakashi and Minato-sensei’s memory! Please apologize!” 

Tsunade softens. “You two really are protective of each other, huh? You did the best you could have given the circumstances you were placed in. You should be proud of how well Naruto is doing, just let me take it from here, okay?” 

Gai immediately returns to his regular self, flashing his signature grin. “Yosh! Thank you for your kind words, Tsunade-hime! We truly are indebted to you!”

“It’s the least I could do for my cousin, what can I say? And let me take him, I’m going to do a quick medical checkup.” 

Kakashi hands her the baby immediately, and then pauses as her words wash over him. “Cousin? What?” 

“Well, in a distant way, yes. My grandmother, that is, Hashirama’s wife, was Uzumaki Mito. Coincidentally, she was also Konoha’s first jinchuuriki, who transferred the tailed beast to Kushina, when she died.” 

“Uzumaki!” 

“Yes, exactly,” She nods, placing Naruto on the table and taking him out of his blanket. “Anyway, that means I’ve got a smidge of Uzushio blood in me, which makes us related. So this is–” she pauses, staring down at Naruto’s belly. “What is this?” 

Concerned, Gai and Kakashi run over to see what she’s staring at, shocked when there’s nothing out of the ordinary. 

“What, the seal?” 

“ _Yes_ , Hatake, this seal. What the hell?” 

“...Tsunade-sama, you’ve already seen it, remember? The first night we met?” 

“I did, but I didn’t get a proper look at it. What the hell is the Eight Trigrams Seal doing on a five-month-old baby? Who sealed him?”

Kakashi answers. “Sensei did….. Sensei sealed him right before he and Kushina-senpai died.” His voice cracks. 

Tsunade looks down at the peaceful boy, still sleeping, and wonders just how much shit this village had been dragged through while she was gone. “He used the Eight Trigrams to seal the Kyuubi in his own son…” she murmurs. “He must’ve had an inordinate amount of faith in him, huh?”

Kakashi doesn’t offer a response for several seconds, and when Tsunade finally takes her eyes off of Naruto to look at him, Kakashi is steadfastly staring at the ground, shoulders rigid, visible eye suspiciously wide. 

_God, they really are just kids, aren’t they?_ Tsunade reaches out and places her hands on Kakashi’s shoulders, silently urging him to look up and meet her gaze. “I will do my best to raise Naruto in a way that honors the Yondaime and Kushina’s memories. They might not be alive, but they’ll be with Naruto, no matter what. You will have fulfilled your mission. Okay?” 

Kakashi’s jaw clenches under his mask, and his mysteriously glassy eye is trained somewhere over Tsunade’s right shoulder. Still, he nods shortly. “Okay.” 

Gai wisely chooses that moment to redirect the conversation. “Tsunade-hime, we’ll still be able to see Naruto, right? As he grows up, I mean?” 

“Aren’t you brats tired of your little doting parent routine yet? My lord!” 

Gai takes the confirmation for what it is and grins toothy and wide. “Yosh! My eternal rival, let us go eat dinner. We’ve done all we can here.” 

“Right. We’ll be by again tomorrow to check up on everyone, okay? Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help… Buying furniture…Or something.” Kakashi shoves his hands in his pockets as he and Gai slip on their sandals. 

Just before the two shinobi cross through the door, they turn around. “Tsunade-hime!” She looks up from where she is hovering over the baby. 

“Hm?” 

“Thank you for everything!” 

Tsunade smiles. “Go and get some sleep.” 

They leave, and Tsunade allows herself to take a deep breath, finally absorbing the kitchen and living room she hadn’t set foot in in years. Everything was exactly the same, the paint was in pristine condition, and apart from the thin layer of dust she had cleaned upon arrival, the entire house was spotless. The only thing that changed was a small cot right next to the couch that Tsunade had gotten Shizune to purchase as soon as they had left the Hokage’s– _hers now,_ she supposes– office. 

She rewraps Naruto, who miraculously still hasn’t stirred, and takes him over to the cot. “What a week, huh?” She says softly, carding her fingers through his hair. “Please take care of me from now on.” 

She gently tucks Naruto in, rocking the cot from side to side to lull him into a deeper sleep. And then, and she would deny this to anyone if they asked, she drops a feather-light kiss to his forehead. And as she sits next to the cot, watching over the baby’s sleeping form, she thinks about the ROOT shinobi’s offer to resurrect Dan and Nawaki. She thinks about their unrealized dreams, the sacrifices that they made for Konoha, and she realizes that the jinchuuriki in her care is the culmination of all of those dreams and sacrifices, bound to destiny before he even becomes aware of what it was. And she thinks that, perhaps even more than Dan and Nawaki, Naruto is in need of a physical reminder of Tsunade’s devotion to him, and the dreams he may have. 

Silently, so as to not wake him up, Tsunade removes Hashirama’s necklace from her neck and hangs it above the cot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kakashi: WELL, ACTUALLY
> 
> also, i hope you got the major plot reference to in good company/ragnarokr in this chapter!! i still love paying homage to weialala-leia's amazing work. if you haven't had the privilege of reading their fics, please do so right now!


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